


Weakness

by crazddreamer



Category: NXT, NXTUK, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alcohol Abuse issues, Angst, Doggy Style, Drama, End game OFC/Kyle O'Reily, F/M, Love Triangle Trope, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Sex, Slow Burn, Submission Moves Flirting, Talking During Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Licking, Vaginal Sex, blowjob, emo as HELL, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2019-10-17 15:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 75,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17563538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazddreamer/pseuds/crazddreamer
Summary: After meeting Pete Dunne, all Sydney knew was that she wanted to be with him, whether is was good for her or not. When Pete decides he only wants casual hookups, she accepts what he offers as a way to keep him in her life. Along the way, the pain gets too much to bear, and she turns to alcohol. Trying to pick up the pieces, her friends rally around her. But she is surprised by how much she enjoys one friend's company a little more than she expected, and missing Pete is not so bad.





	1. Chapter 1

Three A.M. was probably not the right time to be texting him, but the bottle dangling from my hand had full control over any actions I took, impulsive or otherwise.

**_Me:_** **_You awake?_**

While I waited for a response, half praying one would come and half praying one didn’t, I took another drink, the Jack Daniels sliding down my throat easily. At one time I would have coughed and sputtered, drinking straight from the heavy bottle instead of a glass like normal people. I was past that. Tilting back in the plastic lawn chair on my balcony, my bare feet propped up on the metal railing, I was only clad in black boy short panties and a gray tank top. No doubt my neighbors across the common area could see me if they looked out of their windows, but I didn’t care. Besides, if they were up at three a.m. too, they probably deserved a show.

A chime from my phone diverted my attention from the liquor settling in my gut and I lifted it to my face, my heart speeding up when I saw his name on my home screen.

**_Pete: Been up_ **

Biting my lip I sent my reply.

**_Me: Come over?_ **

His response was almost immediate.

**_Pete: Can’t. In London_ **

The groan I let escape mixed with the Florida crickets. The night was humid and warm, but there was a soft breeze making it bearable. He was overseas in the United Kingdom again. I hated that I didn’t even know where he was.

**_Me: When will you be back?_ **

**_Pete: Next week. I’ll text you. Gotta go_ **

Dropping my phone in my lap, I rocked the chair back and forth, dangerously close to tipping over on more than one occasion. The bottle in my hand was getting emptier and emptier as I sat there, drowning myself in my own sorrows and watching the sky get lighter as the sun rose, trying to close off the deep need I had for the man I could never quite get ahold of. If I had a weakness, most would say it was Jack Daniels. I respectfully disagreed. It was absolutely Pete Dunne.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sydney gets a rude awakening, in more ways than one

A loud banging roused me from sleep and I flipped over, immediately dropping into air and landing with a resounding “Oof!” on the floor. At some point, I had made my way to my couch and fell asleep. Passed out. Ta-ma-to, Tah-mah-to. Whatever.

“Sydney! Open the door!”

I knew that voice, and I buried my face in the carpet. Why him? Why was it always him? “Go away!”

“Not a damn chance!”

Cursing under my breath, I slowly lifted myself off the floor using the coffee table and couch as manual aids. Once on my feet, I took stock. No dizziness or urge to vomit. Awesome. Exhausted? Yeah, lack of sleep does that to a person. More banging on my door had me growling. “I’m coming, Ethan, for fuck’s sake! Gimme a minute!”

Making my way across my apartment I unlocked the door, swinging it open. Ethan, or EC3 as the NXT and wrestling world knew him, stood in front of me, hands on his hips, glaring at me. “You look like shit.”

Rolling my eyes I turned, returning to the couch, hearing Ethan closing the door and following me inside. Plopping face down on the cushions, I groaned when he began flicking on lights.

“Really? You left the sliding glass door and curtains open? You trying to get West Nile Virus?” There was a pause, but I didn’t bother to open my eyes. “Fuck Syd. Did you drink this entire bottle last night?”

I gave a half-hearted shrug. “Dunno. Is it empty?”

“Yes.”

“Then yeah, I drank it all.”

He snorted. “You enjoying showing your neighbors what you are working with? Your tits and ass are hanging out.”

I gave another weak shrug. I could feel the way my clothes had twisted on my body when I found my current place on the couch. The tank stretched and my boob was trying its damnedest to escape the arm hole and my boy shorts were currently giving me a wedgie. “Someone needs to enjoy it.”

“When was the last time you cleaned? Or ate something other than pizza? Do you drink out of anything other than plastic cups? Am I in a frat house?”

Anger welled up in me and I pushed myself to a seated position. Glaring at him, I gave him the middle finger. “If you don’t like it, fuck off.”

It was Ethan’s turn to roll his eyes. I watched as he disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a garbage bag. Silently, he began shoving pizza boxes and cups from my coffee table into the bag.

“What are you doing? Is this your version of an intervention?”

He stopped, straightening up to look down at me. His expression was sad, full of pity, which only pissed me off. “You need some help right now, and I’m doing what I can. Go take a shower and get your gym clothes on. I’m gonna take you to the PC.”

As he resumed cleaning my apartment, I shrugged, getting off the couch. “Free maid and a chauffeur? Suit yourself.” If he wanted to punish himself, who was I to stop him? I knew a thing or two about that.

Leaving him to his task, I made my way into my bedroom stripping my tank and underwear off, not bothering to close the door. Ethan and I had seen each other naked too many times to count. And really, none of them counted as anything at all.

Finding my yoga pants and sports bra, I took them into the bathroom with me. That door I did close. There was no reason he needed to see me pee. The two of us may not have had a lot of limits, but that was the line. Flipping the shower on I didn’t wait for it to warm up before I stepped under the spray. The coldness washed over me, waking me up and chasing the last remaining remnants of Jack away.

It was getting harder and harder to get drunk, and harder and harder to have a hangover. Ethan said that was a bad sign. I said that just meant I needed to drink more. It was really no wonder why he was at my door at nine a.m on a Friday. He no doubt knew what I had been up to in the wee hours of the morning.

My shower was quick and I was dressed in under five minutes. Opening the bathroom door I found Ethan picking up dirty clothes from my bedroom floor. “You missed one,” I announced, pointing at a sock hidden under my bed.

He glared at me over his shoulder. “I’m going to start charging you by each thing I pick up.”

I waved my hand at him, going to my dresser to get clean socks. “Put it on my tab.” Upon finding no clean socks, I turned and snatched the sock Ethan had just picked up out of his hand. “Today is gonna be mismatch day!”

Well used to my idiosyncrasies, especially when I was in this mood, he only turned to start making my bed. “You are gross. Dirty socks?”

“Deal with it, E. Laundry is not on my top fifty things to do list.”

The more we bickered as I got ready, the more I sobered up, which only fouled my mood, making the arguing even worse. Ethan took everything with a grain of salt, either rolling his eyes or completely ignoring me altogether.

It wasn’t long before we were in his BMW heading down the road to the Performance Center. Home away from home. It was a place where I found peace, taking my aggressions out on a punching bag or slamming co-workers to the mat in the ring. I could forget about my self-imposed misery and just focus on training and sweating until it ran into my eyeballs. Bliss.

My phone vibrated in my bag against my leg and I dug it out, blinking in surprise when I found a text from Pete.

**_Pete: Won my match_ **

**_Me: Great. Was it for the title?_ **

**_Pete: No. Non-title_ **

**_Me: Oh. Congrats anyway_ **

Beside me, Ethan scoffed. “Do you know that when he texts you, you get this pained look on your face? Like you are trying to put together a 10,000 piece puzzle but you only have 50 pieces.” I didn’t need to tell him who I was talking to, like he said, he knew.

I ignored the barb. Ethan wasn’t a fan of my current situation, but he wasn’t in it, so he didn’t understand. “He’s in the U.K again.”

“Yeah,” he drawled, pulling up to a stop sign and checking for traffic before pulling forward. “Because that’s where he lives.”

“He’s there for work.”

“And he lives there.”

I glared at him. “Are you being an ass just because?”

Behind his reflector aviator shades, his eyebrows rose. “Me? Never. I just don’t like to see my best friend get taken for a ride, that’s all.”

Becoming silent, I looked away, watching buildings pass by as we got closer to the PC. “It’s working for us.”

“Oh really?” his sardonic tone was thick. “Drinking yourself stupid every day is working for you?”

In an effort to keep my eyes off of him, I leaned forward and began playing with the air vents. “Look, its no one’s business. I show up to the PC, I have great matches on TV, and I play well with others. No one else has said shit to me about having a problem.”

In the middle of a turn lane, Ethan slammed on the brakes, causing me to pitch forward and almost hit the dashboard. Seatbelts save lives people. “What the fuck?”

He turned to me, ripping his sunglasses off his face. His expression was livid, and I almost shrank back against the window. “No one says anything to you because you are so fucking miserable that everyone is afraid you will cry if they blink at you! Nikki Cross carries your goddamn matches! And you show up to the PC because I come drag your ass out of your apartment! Get a goddamn grip, Sydney! You are a wreck!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consequences aren't always swift or obvious. Sometimes they sneak up on you and punch you in the face when you least expect it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, moving things along

Fuck Ethan Carter The Third. Best friend or not, he was out of line. And he was getting the silent treatment for the rest of his life.

Complicated. If I had a Facebook account, that would be my relationship status. Pete Dunne and I had tried dating. Actually, it had gone really well. But I wanted more. He said he did, but never delivered. Citing distance, and emotional damage from past relationships, Pete avoided commitment like I avoided sobriety. He said he liked me, appreciated me, said I made him feel good, then disappeared under the cover of darkness, only to send a text later saying he had a flight to catch. Funny how he never mentioned trips before we fell into bed together.

Maybe messy was the better word for whatever we had. Ethan swore Pete was using me, but how do you use a person who consents to all of it? That was my defense anyway. Ethan just said I was an idiot. Like his love life was any better?

Sweat dripping from my body, I stopped the swinging punching bag with my hand, lightly leaning against it as I pulled my gloves off. I had been in the cardio gym most of the morning, Candice LaRae beside me on the treadmills, and then moved to conditioning with Aleister Black. He was helping me with my kicks, and the placement of those kicks, but this morning, he really was being a hardass. I was betting Ethan pulled him aside and had asked him to look out for me today. Which was annoying.

“You need to pivot more on your back foot. Use your toes to turn. Otherwise you end up twisting your hips too far and you’ll throw your back out.”

Casting a nod over my shoulder, I didn’t respond. Using my sleeve of my gray NXT shirt to wipe at the sweat on my brow, I sucked in air trying to get my breathing under control.

“Syd. Are you listening? You are going to get hurt if you don’t start listening.”

Aleister. Sweet, sweet Aleister, I inwardly sighed. Strong, quiet, and fierce, he was a great addition to the NXT roster. Bossy, stubborn, and opinionated, he was also Ethan’s friend and that put him squarely in the “Annoy Sydney” category.

“Yes, I heard you. Pivot. I got it.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave me a dubious expression. “If that was true you’d be doing it. Why are you taking your gloves off? We aren’t done here.”

Tossing said gloves to the floor, I began walking away. “I need a break,” I muttered. Candice and Dakota Kai were standing by the locker room door as I approached, and both gave me a warm smile. “Hey ladies,” I greeted.

“Hi Syd. The next three months of shows just came out. There is a copy taped to your locker.”

I said thank you to Dakota and entered the locker room. Plucking the piece of paper off my locker, I quickly scanned the towns and dates for my name. Upon realizing I was only on three shows, I felt my heart sink. The last schedule I was on over thirty shows. To be dropped down to three was a hint that something was wrong. Very wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consequences, coffee, and choices

Finding Matt Bloom, head NXT coach, was never a problem. His booming voice was always a beacon, so I followed it to one of the three rings in the center of the PC. He was running drills with the men, and when he saw me he nodded at another coach and walked my way.

“Got the new schedule I see,” he said.

I nodded at him, crumbling the piece of paper softly in my hands. “What can I do to get back on the shows?” I had learned a long time ago to never ask what you did wrong, because you already knew in most cases, but to ask how you can fix it was always met with positivity and help.

Bloom’s expression softened, which made me tense up. He wasn’t a cuddly guy. Nice, polite, but firm. But he didn’t coddle. So, the expression on his face directed at me immediately made me wary. “In the last couple of months, you’ve come in here with a chip on your shoulder. Outwardly, you are pleasant, but it’s always with an edge. People have noticed. And by people, I mean Triple H has noticed. And that’s not really what you want him to focus on.” He sighed. “You are short with the other talent, late on most days, and if you think we don’t know about the drinking, you are sorely mistaken. Take some time, figure out the direction you want to go, and get your mind right. Consider this your first warning.”

Stunned, I tried to school my facial expression so that he wouldn’t see me cry. Crying when frustrated was a curse, and I was not going to be known as the girl who cried after being taken off shows. “I understand.”

It was all I could say. Anything more than that and I was either going to mouth off or sob. Neither was a good option. Bloom patted me on my shoulder and I left the area, deciding a quick coffee break before I went back to training was in order.

In the lobby of the PC was a small café and I ordered a latte with a side shot of expresso and sat down at a small table outside on the patio. Florida heat was no joke, but the warmth of the sun on my skin seemed to calm me down as I sipped on my drink.

“Is this seat taken?”

Looking up, I found Kyle O’Reilly standing on the other side of the table, his hand on the back of the empty chair. Kyle and I had only had a few interactions, simple hellos and short conversations, co-workers passing the time. He was handsome, with a great sense of humor, and I enjoyed talking to him when we could.

“It’s all yours if you want to deal with my moodiness today.”

He chuckled, sitting across from me. He had angled the chair so that he was sitting sideways, his arm leaning on the table, his ankle over his other knee. The Man Sit position, I mentally called it. It looked relaxed and carefree, but Ethan had once told me it was extremely uncomfortable. Turning his head to look at me, Kyle winked, making me laugh. “Your moodiness will never deter me from wanting to be in your presence.”

I rolled my eyes. “Your risk I guess.”

Kyle only shrugged. “Lots of stuff is going through the grapevine about you.”

It didn’t surprise me. Looking out over the parking lot, I refused to meet his gaze. “Rumors don’t help my moodiness, Kyle.”

I could see his grin from the corner of my eye. “Most of the time, I wouldn’t pay attention to any of them. But there’s one that I just have to ask about, and then I promise I’ll never bring it up again.”

Turning my head to look at him, I rose my eyebrow. “Yes, I hate avocados.” Obviously I knew that wasn’t what was on his mind, it was just a diversion tactic.

The smile on his face got broader. “Even guacamole?”

“It’s gross and the texture is weird.” I tossed my shot of expresso back, wishing it was Jack Daniels. Kyle was cute and fun to joke around with, but I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what he wanted to ask about.

Heaving an exasperated fake sigh, Kyle nodded. “Ok I forgive you for not liking avocados. But, what I’m really curious about is your relationship with Pete Dunne.”

A cloud passed over the sun, casting the patio into a large shadow. Taking a deep breath, I finished my latte and stood up, ignoring Kyle when he rose with me. “Kyle, I don’t know you well enough to talk about my personal life with you.”

He rose his hands in a defensive gesture. “Hey, I understand. I apologize for prying. I was only asking for my own selfish needs.”

I paused in the middle of leaving, looking back at him. His own selfish needs? What did that mean? The Undisputed Era were in the middle of a TV feud with British Strong Style, including Pete, but backstage everyone was friendly and cordial. As far as I knew, there was no bad blood between the two factions.

Deciding not to push the issue, I waved at Kyle. “Bye. It was nice talking about avocados with you.”

I walked away with the sound of his laughter in my ears. The conversation had distracted me enough to give my mind a break, but it was time to get back to work and get back on track.

I spent the rest of the afternoon training with Aleister and Dakota on my kicks, really trying to implement their directions and focus on the task. Every so often, my mind would drift to Pete and Aleister would bark at me, causing me to lose my balance and I’d have to start my thirty kicks all over again. It was a long process but once finished, I felt accomplished and clear headed in a way I hadn’t in a long time.

After taking a quick shower, I stood at my locker, staring at my phone. I had missed three texts and a phone call from Pete. I frowned. Normally he was asleep if he was overseas while I was training. To get any communication from him during the day was rare. Scrolling through the messages, my heart stopped.

**_Pete: Change of plans. Coming to Orlando in two days_ **

**_Pete: Marty said I could stay with him_ **

**_Pete: But you get first dibs_ **

**MISSED CALL: 1:32pm**

As quickly as my heart stopped, it began racing again. I would get to see Pete soon! And it sounded like he wanted to stay with me. Well, “stay” with me. That usually meant he would leave his stuff at Marty Scurll’s place, a friend of Pete’s from the Indies, and stay the night with me, only to leave again first thing in the morning. It was a long, frustrating, established pattern. My hopes would be high, and reality would crash down.

Behind me, the locker room door opened a fraction. “Syd, you ready?”

Ethan’s voice came through the crack in the door. Looking up, I sighed. “Uh, yeah, be right out.” I was still mad at Ethan, but I couldn’t deny he had some legitimate concerns. Nothing I hadn’t already talked to Pete about, but maybe it was time to open that egg one more time with him.

**_Me: Can’t wait to see you_ **

Closing my locker, I grabbed my bag from the floor and joined Ethan outside of the locker room. “Sorry about earlier,” I mumbled, keeping my head down.

He chuckled, wrapping his massive arm around my shoulders and hauling me to his side as we began walking out of the PC. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I know. And you aren’t wrong in what you say, but don’t think I’m doing this blind. I know what my situation is.”

To any outsider, the conversation might have been vague, but we knew. Ethan dropped his arm and grabbed his keys from the pocket of his jeans. “I’m gonna drop you off at home and then head downtown. I have a date.”

He beamed at me and I rolled my eyes, sliding into the car. “Have fun, Party Boy.”

“Oh, I will,” he laughed over the roof.

“Man Whore.”

“Bitch.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone conversation with Pete that goes no where

Jack. What a friend. Always there, as long as I remembered to pick him up from the store. Ethan would be super pissed if he knew I had an emergency supply in the back of my pantry, behind the big jars of whey protein. Curled up on the couch, bottle in hand, I stared at my phone on the cushion. Pete said he was going to call. So I waited. I could be doing anything else right now. Watching a movie. Ordering pizza and laughing at the thought of Ethan cleaning it up. Doing laundry. Inviting Candice and Dakota out to CityWalk. Anything other than sitting there waiting for Pete’s call.

But I wasn’t.

Suddenly my phone lit up and began its vibrating dance across the cushion, Pete’s name flashing on the screen. I pressed the accept button and put him on speaker, cradling the Jack bottle just a little closer to my chest. “Hey.”

_“Hey.”_ His deep Birmingham British accent floated through the space, instantly warming my body while simultaneously sending chills down my back. _“What are you doing?”_

“Uh, nothing actually.”

_“You lead an exciting life.”_

I rolled my eyes. This benign conversation was pretty standard. “What are you coming to Orlando for? I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until next week.”

I heard some movement on the other end of the line. _“I missed you.”_

I couldn’t help the sardonic laugh that came out of my mouth. “Pete, please.”

_“Well I do, but there are some meetings at the PC I was asked to attend, the NXT tapings are next week, and then I have some tour dates right after in Canada. It just makes sense to fly over there instead of waiting like I had planned.”_

There was a long silence between us and I sighed, taking a swig from Jack. “Are you going to stay with Marty?”

_“You don’t want me to stay with you?”_

I bit my lip. Why did all of our conversations go like this? “Look, what normally happens is you say that you will stay with me but you always go to Marty’s first, and leave your stuff. Then you come hang out with me, and then you leave, saying you don’t have a change of clothes or a toothbrush or whatever. So, let’s cut the shit. Are you staying with Marty?”

He scoffed. _“Got me pegged, do you?”_

Closing my eyes, I leaned my head against Jack. Such a reliable friend, that Jack. Sturdy. Unmoving. “I’m tired, Pete. Just tell me what you want to do. You know I’ll be here either way.”

That was the crux of the situation. Star-crossed lovers unwilling to give up or move on. At least on my end. It was probably why Ethan was so worried about me.

_“Sydney, are you drunk?”_

I couldn’t help myself, I began laughing. If he only knew what I went through when he wasn’t around, what I would do to myself with my ol’ friend Jack, he wouldn’t ask such a stupid question. “Probably, Pete. What gave it away?”

_“When you drink you get stubborn.”_

Still laughing, I shook my head although he couldn’t see me. Straightening up, I caught my reflection in the glass of the sliding door to the balcony. I looked sad, and the pinched expression on my face that Ethan had noted earlier was back.

“Ok well, you will do whatever you want to do, so just send me a text when you decide.” I was done with this frustrating round about conversation. The only thing Pete was committed to was wrestling and his flight schedule. There was no use arguing with him.

_“I do miss you, Syd.”_

That curious melting sensation in my heart happened again, and I couldn’t help the small smile that crossed my face. “I know you do, Pete. I just wish it was enough sometimes, you know?”

_“I know.”_

“Goodnight, Pete.”

_“Good morning, Sydney.”_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pool party sounds fun, right?

I spent Saturday cleaning my apartment, doing laundry and meal prepping for the week. I had woken up on the floor of my bedroom, an empty bottle of Jack in my hand and a carpet pattern molded to my cheek. Mentally, I decided to put Jack in time out for the day and try to get some chores done, including grocery shopping. I tried to tell myself that it had nothing to do with Pete showing up. That it was just past time for me to get my shit together, but it was a lie. I just didn’t want Pete to know how miserable I was when he wasn’t around.

Ethan had called and checked up on me around noon, inviting me to his place the next day for a BBQ with our friends, and I agreed. The distraction was going to be needed, as I didn’t know what time Pete was going to show up, and I didn’t want to just sit around my apartment waiting for him to call me.

That night I watched movies and fell asleep watching You’ve Got Mail. I woke up to the smell of my coffee machine going off at the crack of dawn and I groaned. I had to stop sleeping on the couch. My body was getting contorted in the worst way possible. Sitting up and stretching, I felt lighter than I had in a long time. I wished I could attribute that to personal growth and development, but it was because I knew I’d see Pete soon.

Showering and shaving, I then grabbed a cup of coffee and watched the sun rise higher in the air from my balcony, allowing the Florida heat to dry my hair before I tried to tame it for the day. It was a quiet moment, time moving in slow motion and I tried to let the day sink into me. It was a day for fun and relaxation with friends. A new start if I chose.

I didn’t choose a new start. While packing for Ethan’s BBQ, I slipped a bottle and a flask in my bag and cursed myself. I was weak. Nothing was going to get fixed because the morning was beautiful and I was going to a pool party. The only way it could get fixed was if Pete showed up, professed his undying love for me and said he’d never leave me again.

Ok, that wouldn’t fix anything either, but it felt like this long reaching goal that I had set for myself. Be available whenever Pete had time to come around, make all his favorite vegan foods although I absolutely was NOT vegan, excuse his excuses when it came time to have _the talk_ again and again. That was our relationship. A never-ending feeling of not being enough but yearning for that goal of being called his girlfriend.

Knowing I had alcohol in my bag, I opted to call an Uber instead of driving to Ethan’s. The ride was short, he only lived about ten minutes from my apartment complex, but it was better to be safe than sorry. The car pulled up at his house and I grabbed my bag, thanking the driver as I closed the door. I didn’t bother to knock on the front door, Ethan would be setting up by the pool, so I just walked right into his foyer.

His house was a good size, the entrance tiled with marble, art on the walls, and a large black-framed mirror hanging next to the front door. Ethan was a stickler for details, so his living room and kitchen were meticulous, granite counter tops and deep brown leather sofas with real plants strategically placed around the space. It was a warm and inviting space, but one that also said, “don’t spill anything or you are going to get the bill”.

I saw him through the wall to wall sliding glass doors, by the pool like I knew he would be. He was using a net to skim the top, Aleister leaning down behind him to change out the gas bottles on the grill. I didn’t see anyone else, so I turned right at the living room and went to drop my bag in Ethan’s room. I quickly used the bathroom and washed my hands, using Ethan’s bedroom sliding door to go out onto the screened in patio.

“Hey guys.”

Both men looked up, not surprised to see me stepping out from Ethan’s room. “Hey Syd. I thought I heard the front door open.” Ethan picked the pole up and put it to the side before wrapping his arm around my neck and kissing the top of my head. He had on a black tank top and blue board shorts. “Doing ok?”

I nodded, going to Aleister for a quick hug, who was still in his gym shorts and BlackCraft Cult shirt. “Yeah. Do you have everything you need for today?”

Aleister answered, turning away from me to finish with the grill. “We got everything yesterday.”

“Do you need me to help you set up?”

Ethan shook his head. “The men folk are gonna do the work today. The ladies get to relax. The only thing I want you to do is get into the hot tub and tell me if its too hot.”

Grinning at him, I laughed. “Fine. I’m going to go change and do as instructed.” Returning to Ethan’s room I swapped my jean shorts and shirt for my maroon bikini, throwing my hair up into a messy bun on top of my head and grabbing my sunglasses. Knowing I was going to catch Hell from Ethan anyway, I took my bottle of Jack and the flask into his kitchen.

As I fixed myself a drink, leaving the flask on the counter for later in the day, I heard the sliding door open and I spoke without looking up, thinking it was either Aleister or Ethan. “Hey did you men folk happen to remember rafts? I didn’t see any in the pool.”

A chuckle I faintly knew found my ears and I looked up, finding Kyle on the other side of Ethan’s massive kitchen island. His hands were braced on the granite, his charming smile beaming on his face, and he was shirtless. A faint redness was already dusting on his shoulders from the sun. “Adam and Bobby are in the garage blowing the rafts up, Your Highness.”

I blushed, setting the bottle of coke down before I overfilled my cup. “Sorry, I thought you were Ethan.”

“No worries. What are you drinking?”

Fidgeting with cap of the bottle, I bit my lip. “Uh, Jack Daniels.”

He nodded, rounding the island to find himself a cup out of Ethan’s cabinet. No plastic in this house. Ethan was a man of standards and a dishwasher. “I think I’ll just have a coke. I don’t drink.”

For some reason, that didn’t surprise me. And he said it in such a way that I didn’t feel ashamed for having my hand permanently glued to a bottle. In fact, none of my friends had treated me that way, and I had a moment of thankfulness fill my heart.

Coming to stand beside me, he reached for the coke bottle, brushing my fingers with his as he took it, sending me a secret smile. My heart thudded against my ribs and I got goosebumps on my arms. Feeling a little breathless, I grabbed my thermos cup, put the lid on it and found the bendy straw that completed the package, escaping out the sliding door to the patio before I did anything stupid. Like falling for Kyle O’Reilly’s charms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hot tub conversations

My eyes closed behind my sunglasses, I enjoyed the sounds of the party as I lay on the lounge chair, Dakota on one side of me, Bobby Fish on the other. Candice and her husband Johnny Gargano were on rafts in the pool while Ethan, Aleister, Adam Cole, Kyle, and Roderick Strong were playing basketball in the shallow end.

Sighing, I sat up. “I told Ethan I’d test out the hot tub. I’m overdue. Want to come?”

Bobby shook his head. “It’s too damn hot, Sydney. Why in the Hell do you want to do that?”

I only laughed, standing when Dakota waved me away. As I rounded the end of the chair, I came face to face with a dripping wet Kyle O’Reilly, who had just hoisted himself out of the pool. Before I could stop myself, my gaze was riveted to his torso. He had no business looking that good. “Uh, sorry,” he laughed, taking a step back. “I was just heading to the hot tub.”

“Oh, me too.” I forced myself to look away from his abs.

He grinned at me. “Awesome. Being the only one in a hot tub is cause for a pity party. At least I’ll have someone to talk to.”

I smiled back at him and lead the way to the hot tub. As I passed the group of guys at the end of the pool, I saw Ethan hanging onto the side, typing furiously fast on his phone. “Not a smart place to have that, E.”

He looked up at me, squinting through his aviators. “You might thank me later.”

I had no idea what that meant so I ignored him, climbing into the hot tub with Kyle right behind me. As we settled across from each other I couldn’t help but laugh a little. The jets kept pushing me from my seat, making sitting extremely difficult.

Kyle, seeing my predicament, moved over next to me and put his legs on top of mine, effectively stretching out while keeping me seated. “Success!” he announced.

The whole situation caught me as funny. “I guess that’s one way to handle it.”

He nodded, leaning his head back against the side, closing his eyes. “Don’t want you swirling in the middle of the Jacuzzi like a stick in a whirlpool.”

My cheeks hurt from laughing, but it felt good too. It felt like a long time since I’d had such a carefree day. Looking over my shoulder I saw Roderick manning the grill while Candice and Dakota were now playing chicken fight on top of Johnny and Adam’s shoulders. Talking and laughter filled the air, as I watched my friends from the corner of the patio.

“Why so sad, Syd?”

I looked over at Kyle who was watching me with a quizzical expression. “I forgot my drink.”

His ever-ready smile appeared again. “Do you need it?”

For some reason, that question stopped me. No, actually. I didn’t need it. For the past few months it had felt as if I had a bottle in my hand 24/7 unless I was at the PC. But today, it hadn’t crossed my mind for hours. “Guess not.”

Kyle and I talked about simple things for a while; favorite places to travel, favorite foods, things we couldn’t live without. I learned he loved chick flicks, and was unapologetic about it, he was terrified of cuttlefish, reason unknown, and he spent a lot of time volunteering at the local Beagle rescue outside of Orlando.

He had absolutely no right to be that perfect.

I found myself scooting closer to him, as much as I could with his legs still pinning mine down so I didn’t float away. Our conversation had me riveted, never stopping, each question leading into a story that segued to another question. We had a lot in common, love of animals, places we wanted to travel to, quirks that we understood. He always seemed to be smiling at me, which left me feeling more dazzled and breathless than I wanted to be. Kyle’s forearm was behind my shoulders, his fingers sometimes finding a strand of my hair and playing with it, or dancing softly on my back.

I felt warm, and not from the temperature of the water. It was like free floating, a cut-string kite drifting up through the air, a sense of contentment and peace, just enjoying the company of another human being, watching their face for any signs of them feeling the same way. And I think Kyle was, if his rapt attention was anything to go by.

“Hey, you made it!”

Ethan’s booming exclamation broke the spell being woven between Kyle and I, and I looked over my shoulder, feeling my stomach drop out.

Standing in the doorway, a duffel bag in his hands, stood Pete. And his gaze was locked on Kyle and I in the hot tub.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope and.... jealousy?

“Pete?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was there. At Ethan’s party. I stood, hardly feeling Kyle’s legs drop from mine. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “Well there went that…” but I didn’t pay him any attention. Swiftly climbing out of the hot tub, I all but ran across the patio, launching myself into Pete’s waiting arms.

“Hey, Love.” He hugged me close, apparently not caring that I was dripping wet.

It took everything I had not to wrap my legs around his waist. I closed my eyes, pressing my mouth to his neck, inhaling his scent to store for later when he left. “Did you just land?”

He nodded, his hands pressing me to his chest as if he didn’t want to let me go just yet. I wasn’t complaining. “I tried calling you, but you didn’t answer.”

“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “My phone is inside.”

Coming up behind us, Ethan clapped Pete on the shoulder while everyone yelled greetings to him. “He sent me a text, Syd, trying to find you, so I just told him to come on over here.”

Finally picking my head up from Pete’s shoulder, I looked back at Ethan. “Thank you.”

He winked at me. “Got a suit?” he asked Pete.

Pete nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well come on then. Join the party. Rod says the food should be done soon if….oh that’s right. Vegan. We have a veggie plate inside if you want that.”

Pete shrugged. “That’s fine. I’ll find something.”

Pecking Pete on the cheek I whispered in his ear. “I have food for you at my place.”

“Thanks, Love,” he whispered back. Finally, he slipped his arms from around me. “I’m gonna go change.”

Suddenly, a light bulb switched on in my head. “You didn’t go to Marty’s.”

A slow smile graced his face, just for me. “No. This is my gym bag,” he pointed at the duffle he dropped on the ground, “but my luggage is in Ethan’s foyer.”

I couldn’t help but hug him again. “Can I go inside with you?”

Pete hummed low in his throat, kissing the hair behind my ear. “Gonna behave?”

I nodded. “As much as possible.”

Ethan rolled his eyes and stepped away, heading back to the pool. “If you aren’t back in ten minutes I’m sending Aleister in to find you.”

From his raft, Aleister yelled, “Why me?”

Ignoring them, I took Pete by the hand after he picked up his bag and we walked inside together. Seeing his suitcase in the foyer, my heart seemed to skip beats, and the realization that he really did want to spend time with me was a bit overwhelming. I couldn’t help but think it was a new stage in our relationship, that maybe he was ready to make the new step and commit.

Pointing down the hall I said, “Bathroom is down the hall to the left. Second door.”

Pete nodded, but pulled me close to him again, settling his arms around my waist as I leaned into him. “It’s good to see you, Syd.”

I allowed myself to sink into him, breathing his scent in deep and holding it in my lungs to savor during the times I missed him so much my heart ached. Even as we held each other, silently, there was still that aura of aloofness about Pete Dunne. No one ever really knew what he was thinking, his words polite but distant. He had the amazing ability to speak without saying anything of importance, while I felt as if I opened my mouth, my life story spilled out.

“I’m glad you are here, Pete.”

He hummed low in my ear, but when he spoke, his tone was anything but content. “You looked really close to O’Reilly in the hot tub. Anything I should know about?”

Was that… _jealousy_? Pulling back so that I could see his expression, which was as guarded as always, I shook my head. “He’s a friend. And he was trying to keep me in place in the hot tub because the jets were so powerful. Harmless.”

Sighing, Pete gave me a slight smile. “Gonna go get changed.”

Nodding I stepped back and moved towards the kitchen. “I’ll meet you outside in a few minutes.”

Pete picked up his gym bag and disappeared into the bathroom while I grabbed my flask that I had set on the counter earlier and chugged at the contents. My mind was spinning at the idea of Pete was actually staying in my apartment, hanging out with me and our friends. I couldn’t help the wandering thoughts, imaging grocery shopping, playfully arguing over music in the car, even folding laundry.

Domestic bliss.

Shoving the flask behind Ethan’s bread box that he used to store his supplements, I returned to the patio, resolved to just enjoy the time I had with Pete. Whatever he was willing to give me, I would accept. And I hoped my heart would survive it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quicker than expected, it all comes to a head with Pete

Later that evening, Pete and I sat on my couch, silently watching a comedy on Netflix. Neither one of us were laughing, nor talking. I was hyper aware of the fact that he was on the other end of the couch, his body ramrod straight, and he hadn’t glanced at me in what felt like forever.

My stomach was in knots, and my nerves were shot. Every time he shifted I flinched, waiting for his deep voice to cut through the silence, to tell me what was wrong, to say anything that would give me a clue as to why he was so edgy.

This was not the domestic bliss I was imaging earlier. I couldn’t remember a time it had ever been this tense between us. Our relationship, while unconventional, had always been one of easy, empty conversations, and quick passion in the bedroom. This distance, that started on the way back to my apartment in the Uber, was uneasy. I felt as if I was waiting for a bomb to go off, but I didn’t know how much time was left on the timer.

I couldn’t help but think back to what he had asked me about Kyle. It sounded a bit accusatory. And while part of me got miffed at that idea, I mean, who was he to tell me who I could hang out with? He wasn’t my boyfriend. The other part of me quelled at the idea of hurting Pete at all.

Pete’s phone chimed, and I saw his hand clench on his thigh, but he made no move to answer it. A few moments later, another chime, then another. But Pete never moved.

I couldn’t take the silence any longer. “If you need to get that, you can go into my room and answer it.”

“Nope,” he said, his tone clipped. “It’s fine.”

“Ok.” It wasn’t ok. Something was going on, and I couldn’t help but feel as if I was at fault.

Continuing to half-watch the TV, I found myself biting my lip when Pete turned the sound off on his phone. His face, always stoic, seemed angry, or maybe frustrated. I knew there was no use in asking him what was wrong, he wouldn’t tell me. Or he’d give me some bullshit story, that, while true, wasn’t really what was wrong.

On the rare occasions that he did talk to me about any issues he was having, he didn’t seem to welcome any advice or thoughts from me. Oh, he’d listen, but he didn’t seem to give my suggestions much credence.

Ethan said if a man did that, he didn’t care about the person he was with.

I said Pete and I weren’t together, so it didn’t matter.

Ethan told me I was being led on.

I told Ethan, you can’t lead someone who doesn’t want to follow.

And really, after that, we dissolved into another one of our silent treatments, because at that point, neither one of us knew what we were arguing about anymore.

Looking for something to do other than sit next to a grim statue, I stood and moved into the kitchen. Pulling out a pan, I then grabbed a brownie mix from the cabinet. Tonight seemed like it was going to be tough, so I was going to indulge a little bit. Humming to myself, I went through the motions almost on auto-pilot, enjoying the mundane task in front of me.

I was so far into the mental zone that I didn’t see Pete get up from the couch and lean on the bar top until he spoke, startling me. “I can’t eat that. It’s not vegan.”

Looking up at him, I felt the knot in my stomach get tighter. “It’s not for you. I made you sushi. It’s in the fridge.”

He tried to hide the look of disgust at my brownie batter, but failed. Circling the bar and entering the kitchen, he pulled the sushi out of the fridge. “Thanks for doing this.”

I kept my gaze on the whisk in my hand. “You’re welcome. There is other stuff in the pantry for you too. Oh, and I got that protein bar that you like. There is a whole box.”

He made a noise of appreciation and, holding the Tupperware full of sushi, opened the door to the pantry. It was a small closet in the corner of the kitchen, everything organized, because I was not a morning person and finding things before I had my coffee was a struggle.

As I poured the batter into the pan, I heard Pete rummaging in the pantry. Suddenly silence fell and I looked over my shoulder. He was standing there with a bottle of Jack Daniels under his arm and another in his hand.

Looking up at me, his face seemed more closed off than before. “What do you need all this liquor for?”

Somehow, _to make it through until you are with me again,_ didn’t seem like the correct answer. “It was on sale.”

A slight narrowing of his eyes told me he didn’t believe me, but wasn’t ready to call me out on it yet. “Were you drinking today?”

Again, _I drink everyday_ seemed out of place. “Yes.”

Placing the sushi and two bottles on the counter, he reached into the pantry and pulled another three bottles of Jack out. “Was it a good sale?” His tone was disapproving, but since he wasn’t my boyfriend, he knew he couldn’t protest.

Turning back to my brownies, I nodded. “A very good sale.”

Deep down, I was embarrassed. Between Ethan harping on me, Coach Bloom calling me out, and Pete discovering my stash, I felt the lowest I’d ever felt. My heart hurt, and I was ashamed. I knew I had a problem, and I knew that I used liquor as a crutch, I just didn’t know if I could fix it, or if I really wanted to.

“Syd. Why do you need all of this?”

I put the mixing bowl in the sink and popped the pan in the oven before turning to answer Pete. I needed a moment to compose myself, but it was time I laid everything out on the table, so Pete and I could both see what was happening.

Popping up to sit on the counter, I looked him in the eye. “Pete, you knew I drank. Why are you acting like this is a surprise?”

Pete was quiet, but he leaned against the wall, watching me. Finally, he spoke. “I didn’t realize it was this bad. When did it start?”

“Over a year ago.”

“What happened over a year ago? Do you know what caused it?”

I did. That was the night I broke down in tears and told him I needed more than this casual hook up, and he explained he couldn’t commit, I wallowed myself in Jack Daniels for the first time. And the fact that he couldn’t put two and two together annoyed me. But it wasn’t fair of me to be annoyed with him. This was my choice, grasping onto whatever scraps Pete would give me. “Yes, I know.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

I shook my head. “It wouldn’t change anything.”

Pete’s head tilted a little. “What does that mean?”

That knot in my stomach seemed to move to my throat. “There are somethings that you just won’t understand because you aren’t here.”

“What won’t you tell me? I mean we text almost everyday. You can always come to me if there is a problem. I want to help.”

I sighed. He wasn’t going to let this go and I was going to have to be clear. But I knew this conversation would change everything. I was clear headed and tired. Tired of this constant back and forth and settling. I was tired of giving everything I had, only to get nothing back in return. I had thought that I could keep this up, this pretending like I was ok with our situation, but I obviously was not. I had hoped against hope that Pete would change his mind, realized he missed me while he was away and would decide he couldn’t live without me. But that never happened.

“When you are gone, I want you to miss me.”

Standing up straight, Pete said,” I do miss you.”

Shaking my head, I looked away. “Not like I miss you. I want you to think of me constantly, like I do about you. I want you to wonder where I am or what I’m doing. To lay awake at night pretending I’m next to you, just so you feel comforted. I want you to make intentional plans to see me, not just because you happen to be in Orlando, you’ll stop to see me.”

“How do you know that I don’t do those things?”

Glancing back up at him, I saw he had moved closer, but was still halfway across the kitchen. “Because when I do them, I tell you.”

The mood shifted in the space. A sense of desperation tinged the area. “You are asking for too much.”

I gave him a weak smile. “I’m asking for a connection, not a convenience.”

He shrugged. “Sydney, I can’t give you that. I’ve told you that I can’t.”

“The fact that you aren’t made at me tells me everything I need to know, really. You should be angry, disappointed, worried. Anything. But you aren’t.” There it was. The crux of the whole situation. His words told me he cared, but his emotions, or lack thereof, told me he didn’t.

My phone rang behind me on the bar, and I turned to grab it, finding Marty Scurll’s number on the caller ID. Looking at Pete, I tossed it to him. “I bet that’s for you.”

Startled, he caught my phone and answered it, moving out of the kitchen into my bedroom. I was thankful for his exit. The timer on the brownies went off and I took them out of the oven, placing them on the stove top. The bottles of Jack Daniels caught my eye and I just stared at them. Five bottles, on the counter, seemed like a lot more than five bottles hidden in my pantry. It was a stark reminder that I had been fooling myself.

Behind me, Pete cleared his throat. Looking at him, I waited for what he was going to say.

“You never told me why you drink.”

A rueful smile crossed my face. “Yes I did, but you didn’t hear me. I drink because I miss you. I drink because I am empty when you are gone. And I drink because I want more, and you don’t want the same thing.”

“I just can’t, Syd.” His expression seemed pained.

“I know, Pete. It’s ok.”

He shook his head, and for a moment, I thought he was going to cross the floor and approach me, but he seemed to second guess himself. “It’s really not.”

“Pete?” He looked at me. “I don’t think I can keep seeing you anymore. I’m not even sure I can be your friend. I want to, but being without you hurts. Being with you hurts. I’m not healthy, and I always feel like I’m battling something I can’t see.”

He seemed to deflate, but he nodded. “I really didn’t want this to go this way. I wanted to be what you needed me to be, but I can’t.” He half turned towards the door. “I’m going to go stay with Marty. Do you need me to call anyone for you? To come be with you?”

That odd smile seemed planted on my face, a final barrier against breaking down in front of Pete. “No, I’ll be ok. I’ll just eat some brownies and go to bed.”

He watched me for a minute and then nodded. “Ok. I’ll see you at work?”

“I’ll see you at work. Professional and friendly. Always.”

He accepted that and grabbed his gym bag and his suitcase from my foyer, leaving my apartment faster than he arrived. The click of the door behind him seemed to pinch my heart and I leaned heavily against the kitchen counter, trying to take stock of my emotions.

Weirdly, I felt numb. It wasn’t real yet and I wasn’t sure what step I needed to take next. Pete and I had broken up. Or, stopped seeing each other? I wasn’t sure what the correct term was for two people who weren’t dating or in a relationship who agreed to move on. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel like it fit.

For lack of anything better to do, I grabbed a couple of squares of brownies and made my way back to my couch, but I couldn’t really focus on anything. I felt sort of adrift and blank.

On the arm of the couch, I felt a buzz and looked over to see that Pete had left his phone. Dreading the fact that I was going to have to talk to him face to face the next day to give it back to him settled in my stomach, but catching the preview of the message on the phone seemed to make the brownies I just ate want to come back up.

**_Did you talk to Syd about the rumors Deonna heard at the PC? If she needs help man let us know_ **

Without Pete’s code, I couldn’t open the phone and read the rest of the messages from Marty, but I suddenly knew why Pete had been so tense. Closing my eyes I blindly turned off the TV and buried my head in the couch cushions, my face burning with embarrassment and tears sneaking out of the corner of my eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soft Intervention

With a deep feeling of déjà vu, I awoke on the couch the next morning to the sound of pounding on my front door.

“Sydney! Come on, open the door!”

Groaning, I slid off the couch, pushing my hair out of my face. “Dammit, Ethan, why can’t you call before coming over like a normal human being!” Stumbling towards the door, I leaned my forehead against it, hating myself. I didn’t even remember doing it, but I had downed an entire bottle of Jack after reading Marty’s text on Pete’s phone. I felt like hell, and I was sure I looked like it too.

The reverberation of Ethan’s knock pounded through my skull and I angrily unlocked the door before opening it. Glaring at my best friend, I noticed he was not alone. Candice and Johnny stood to his side, and I immediately took a step back. I didn’t want them to see me like this.

“Ethan….”

He gave me an apologetic look. “I know, Syd, but I figured I needed some back up.”

I shook my head. “No, you didn’t. You really didn’t.” I was trying to telepathically plead with him to tell me he didn’t bring co-workers to my apartment to find me trashed out of my mind, sad and lonely, but since there they were, I obviously was not getting through to him.

Johnny shrugged. “We’ll wait out here if you prefer.”

Candice glared at her husband. “You might want to do that but I’m going in. Ethan, you stay here too.” And with that, she stepped past them, into my apartment, and slammed the door shut in their faces. Looking at me with a smile, she let out a deep breath. “Ok, now that that’s done, do you have any coffee?”

Dumbly I followed her into the kitchen, watching as she moved around the space as if she’d lived here for months. She seemed unbothered by the bottles that hadn’t moved from their spot on the counter since the night before, minus the one I emptied, or the brownie pan still on the stove.

While the coffee brewed she turned and looked at me. “What do you want to do?”

I knew my face was locked in a confused expression, but I had no idea what was going on. “What do you mean?”

“I’m going to lay this to you straight. Rumors have spread. Pretty much everyone knows what’s going on. You and Pete had a thing, now you and Pete do not have a thing. We also know that Mr. Daniels over here,” she put her hand on the neck of one of the bottles next to her, “has been keeping you company. So what I want to know is, what do you want to do?”

I felt like I had been hit by a truck, and it had nothing to do with the liquor in my system. People knew my business and I was mortified. I hated the fact that I could not stop drinking, even when I intended to. I drank an entire bottle last night without remembering any of it. I had lost hours. What if I had hurt myself?

Looking up at Candice, I sniffled. “Get rid of the bottles.”

She nodded and turned to gather them in her arms. “Is this all there is?”

Moving towards the coffee pot I shook my head. “No. I never cleaned out my bag from Ethan’s BBQ. There is a flask and a small bottle in there.”

Candice walked to the door balancing the alcohol in her arms. “Johnny!”

The front door swung open and I heard her whispering to Johnny and Ethan. “Give me a few more minutes and then you can come in, ok? She told me she’s got more, but get rid of this.”

Ethan grumbled. “She’s my best friend, it should be me in there.”

“E, sometimes, instead of giving her hell, you should try listening to her. So just wait.”

The door closed and I pretended like I hadn’t been eavesdropping by fixing my cup of coffee and going to sit on the couch. Candice sat on the other end, her face calm and open.

“After you drink your coffee, you should shower. Anything you want to do today?”

I shrugged. “Ethan usually takes me to the PC, but Pete is going to be there.”

Candice smiled. “Yeah let’s avoid that place for a few days.”

“I need to give him back his phone. He left it here.” I took a sip of my coffee.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Johnny or Ethan can deliver the phone. You and I are going to go to the pool, or do hot yoga, or something other than be around NXT.”

Actually, that sounded like a good idea. I needed to get my head straight, needed time to come to grips with the fact that the guy I had hoped to have a future with was no longer going to be in my life the way I had expected him to be. “Know what sounds good? A spa day.”

Candice’s eyes lit up. “That sounds amazing. Is it ok to invite Dakota? Because she and I were just talking about doing that a few days ago.”

I nodded, flinching with Ethan came slamming through my front door, a determined look on his face. “Yeah I’m ok with Dakota coming along.” Even as I spoke, Ethan grabbed my mug and set it on the coffee table, scooped me up in his arms, bodily lifting me from the couch to give me a crushing hug. “E! Oh my God you are going to kill me!”

My feet dangled in the air as I gasped for breath, but he still did not put me down or let go. “Listen to me you idiot. If you ever break up with a guy and I’m not the first person you call I’m going to kick your ass, do you understand me?”

I giggled a bit, with the little air I had in my lungs, but I put my chin on Ethan’s shoulder, not caring when a few tears escaped my eyes. “You are such an asshole.”

Johnny was standing in my small foyer, a bemused smile on his face at the name calling. “He’s been pretty upset, Syd. He was waiting for you to call for hours.”

“Sorry,” I whispered to my best friend. “I thought I could handle it alone.”

Kissing the side of my head, Ethan finally put me down, but kept his hands on my shoulders. “You don’t have to handle it alone, Sydney.”

Shrugging him off I moved past him announcing that I was going to take a shower. I was thankful for the escape and as I gathered a change of clothes and shut myself away in the bathroom, I couldn’t help but be a bit overwhelmed. I wasn’t one who liked a lot of attention on me, which was ironic considering my profession.

My shower was quick and I dressed just as fast. When I opened the bathroom door, Candice was standing in my bedroom. “I sent the guys away. Ethan was digging through your dresser and Johnny looked like he was going to fly off the handle any minute.”

I ignored her comment about Ethan while moving to the night stand to put my watch and jewelry on. “What’s wrong with Johnny?”

She shrugged. “He thinks we are over stepping our bounds.”

I didn’t respond. I still wasn’t happy that Ethan had brought Candice and Johnny to my apartment. “So, how did you hear about me and Pete?”

Candice pulled her phone out of her back pocket. “We need to get going if we are going to make our appointment time. And we need to swing by to pick up Dakota.”

Letting her avoid the question, I followed her out of my bedroom and through my apartment. I was going to get answers. Today.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sauna confessions

Sweat dripped down my chest and back, soaking the towel I was wrapped in. After being massaged, exfoliated, and buffed, Dakota, Candice, and I sat in the sauna of the spa, soaking in the humidity. My eyes were closed, and the moment of tranquility was exactly what I needed. I could almost feel the alcohol drying up in my system, and I was becoming more and more clear headed.

“So, what was the issue with you and Pete?”

I cracked open an eye, finding Dakota looking at me. Candice was throwing her furtive looks, and I realized this might be another stage in the intervention. Get me locked up in a heat box so I can’t escape, then quiz me on things I want no one to know about. Smart.

Sighing, I resigned myself to explaining something I was sure no one could ever understand. “We wanted different things.”

Candice didn’t look satisfied with that. “I thought you were ok with the friends with benefits status though.”

I shrugged slightly. “I tried to be. But I never really was.”

Both women were silent for a moment, but Dakota finally spoke up. “Then why would you say that you were?” She genuinely sounded confused.

Therein lied the crux of the whole debacle. “Because I wanted Pete however I could get him. And deep down, I hoped he would change his mind. But it was doomed from the start.”

With a gaze full of scrutiny, Candice asked, “But, what did you two have in common other than wrestling?”

I shook my head, wiping the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. “Absolutely nothing. And to be honest, we didn’t even have wrestling in common. We never talked about it, or anything else.”

Dakota snorted. “Then what did you talk about?”

I leveled a sardonic look at her. “Weather. Travel. Where he was staying when he was in town. But talking was not our strong suit.”

They laughed and went quiet again. Minutes later, it was Candice who asked the uncomfortable question. “So, how did the alcohol get involved?”

This was absolutely a “bad behavior” intervention, and I was no longer fooled. “It helped when I was missing Pete. And then after a while, it was the only way I could fall asleep on my own. And then after that, it was the only thing getting me through the loneliness I was feeling. Listen, do we have to keep talking about this? I thought I was supposed to be starting fresh today.”

Taking a sip from her water bottle, Candice shrugged at me. “It’s better to get this out now, while we are in here. After today. We won’t bring it up again.”

Dakota coughed, her eyes wide. “Speak for yourself! I’ll absolutely bring this up when you start drooling over Dunne again!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, I think.”

She gave a decisive nod. “Consider it an ongoing intervention.”

Rolling my eyes, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. If this was the supposed to be therapeutic, maybe I needed to embrace that. “Explain to me how everyone knew I was drinking.” I had my theories, but I wanted to see if I was right.

More furtive glances between them, then Candice sighed. “I’m only telling you so that you understand that none of this was done out of spite. We already had our suspicions and were genuinely concerned. Deonna Purrazzo overheard you and Ethan arguing about it one day and had asked a few people if it was true.”

I felt my eyebrows furrow. I was confused. “She asked a few people? Like, who?”

Dakota chimed in. “Well that’s what started it all. Out of concern for you, she inadvertently asked the wrong people, ones who didn’t know anything, and started the rumor. It snowballed until people started to realize that your moodiness was a direct result of the alcohol. And it didn’t help that Ethan was biting everyone’s heads off as soon as someone asked him how you were doing.”

“It really was an accident. Deonna was worried about you because she knew about your relationship with Pete, and he’s friends with Marty, her boyfriend.” Candice adjusted her hair on top of her head.

“You are telling me that one woman that I hardly know worried about me so much that she got me kicked off live events and broken up with?” I was incredulous.

Dakota gave me an apologetic shrug. “Well you said you broke it off with Pete, so technically…”

I lifted my hand to stop her. “It was a mutual decision.” Sighing, I continued, “I won’t lie, I don’t know what its like to not have Pete in my life. We’ve been doing this dance for a long time.”

Candice’s face was sympathetic. “He is a good guy, Sydney. I wish the two of you could have worked it out.”

Trying to ignore the burning of tears that threatened, I asked the question that kept me up at night. “Why didn’t he want to be with me though? I’m a good person too.”

Without speaking, both women stood up and moved to sit next to me, on either side. Their arms wrapped around my shoulders, and the dam broke. Tears began falling faster than I could wipe them away, and my body bent in half, even with Dakota holding my shoulders, I couldn’t stay upright.

“Oh no, Syd, it’s not that. Of course you are a good person. Any one would be lucky to have you in their lives.” Candice’s tone was pleading, in a way that seemed as if she was begging me to see she was right. “Pete has issues that he needs to deal with, just like you do.”

Dakota agreed. “Just because it’s not working now, doesn’t mean it won’t work later, if the two of you want to try again.”

I hardly heard them, the sobs coming from my throat too loud and too intense to focus on what they had to say. My heart hurt, and my body was shaking from my crying. My friends just held me tighter, and I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. It took longer than I wanted, but a single thought popped into my head, almost immediately stopping my crying. Sitting up straight I wiped my face.

“Oh my God,” I breathed, staring off into the distance. “I can’t believe it.”

I saw Candice throw Dakota a concerned look. “What? What is it?”

“I am so ashamed.” Immediately, both women began scolding me at once, telling me I had nothing to be ashamed about. Holding my hand up, I shook my head. “No, no, listen. I don’t love Pete. I never have.”

They shared a confused look. “What?” Dakota questioned.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to explain. “The reason Pete and I never worked out is because we were attracted to each other, and that was never enough. Like you said, we had no common interests. We’re too different. But I can see that he’s a good man, and I want a good man in my life. I want to be with a good man. So I put all my hopes and feelings into that, wishing it was enough. Obviously, it wasn’t. How could it be? A relationship doesn’t happen through osmosis. He lives in England, for God’s sake. He’s a vegan, I’m not. He’s a homebody, I’m not. And lots of other things. One of us was going to have to change, but that makes zero sense. Those aren’t things we can change about ourselves and still be happy. We were always doomed. From the start. And I think Pete knew that, but didn’t know how to tell me. And I probably knew, but drowned it out with Jack Daniels.”

My friends were silent, staring at me. Finally, Dakota spoke up. “Did you just work through this whole thing on your own? Like, what are we here for then?”

Laughing and still sniffling, I hugged her. “Because like you said, I’m sure I’m going to backslide.”

Candice accepted my hug next and nodded. “Yep, we’re gonna watch you with Eagle Eyes. One step towards Pete and I’m taking your kneecaps out.”

Rolling my eyes I stood up. “Deal, but if I have to sit in here any longer I’m going to melt before I can move on.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lessons in Submission.....moves

It wasn’t as easy as I had hoped to avoid Pete. I steadfastly refused to deter my routine any more than I needed just because he was in town, so I asked Ethan to resume picking me up to take me to the Performance Center the day after the spa. Upon arriving, Pete and one of the trainers were teaching submission moves in one of the rings, and my heart dropped. Knowing how the PC worked, I was going to be forced to get in the ring with him, and if I refused, with my recent track record, I was going to be in big trouble.

Dakota was at a doctor’s appointment, so Candice and Ethan flanked me in line, muttering to me in low voices trying to keep me calm. As each person went into the ring, my heart beat pounded harder and harder.

“Deep breaths, Syd. This is nothing different than what we do every day,” Ethan mumbled. I was grateful for his support, and if we weren’t in public, I probably would have been curled against his chest.

Candice’s hand was on my elbow. “You can do this. He’s a teacher today. Just like Coach Bloom and Coach Amato. Professional. Ok?”

I kept nodding, trying to absorb what they were saying, and to focus on the moves we were supposed to be learning.

Suddenly, someone cut in between Candice and I. “Hey Syd!”

Angry from being cut off from my emotional support system, I looked up ready to snap a person’s head off. But upon realizing it was Kyle O’Reilly, my anger faded. “Oh, hey Kyle.”

“Did you hear about the new druid excavation they started in Scotland? Apparently, they found a mass burial site, but it’s not like anything they have ever found before. Everyone was buried with the utmost respect, like arms crossed and dressed to the nines!”

I felt dazed, but mildly relieved at the distraction. “I hadn’t heard about that, but it sounds amazing.”

“I’ll send you the article.”

I nodded.

“Have you ever done submission work like this before?” he asked me.

I shook my head. “Well, I mean mildly. Just what was taught in the academy. This is more advanced.”

He flashed me a grin that made my heart stop. “The trick to the Texas Cloverleaf is the lift. If you don’t lift the person high enough before you step forward, you’ll put a crick in their neck and possibly hurt them. So make sure you squat low,” he proceeded to squat in front of me and my eyes followed him down, “wrap your arms around the thighs, and stand up, checking their positioning before you step forward.” He stood back up.

“Ok, I get it. And then when I step forward, they should be bent at the hips.”

“Exactly. If they are bent at the shoulders, they could get hurt, because you are putting pressure on their spinal cord.”

“Kyle!”

We both looked up at Coach Bloom. “Yeah?”

“Get in here, quit yapping. It’s your turn.”

I didn’t even notice Candice take her turn against Pete, and I felt my face blush. Kyle had successfully calmed me down and distracted me all at the same time.

Kyle stepped through the ropes and shook hands with Pete. My stomach began somersaulting again, but I tried to focus on Kyle. Pete said something to Kyle, who just laughed and took a step back, readying himself for the takedown.

Practice was two-fold, offense and defense. The first run through was defense, to teach how the position felt and possible ways to get out of the hold. The second time was offense, putting your opponent in the hold safely.

Since Kyle was a submission machine, his turn went quickly, but I still tried to imprint his moves into my brain. All too soon, it was my turn again Pete, and I felt my breath stutter. Ethan’s reassuring squeeze on my shoulder bolstered me enough that I didn’t hesitate when Bloom called my name.

I always got a little thrill when I stepped through the ropes. The ring was my stage, and my anxiety seemed to lessen. I knew this place. I belonged here. Looking Pete in the eyes, I nodded at him and shook his hand. We were professionals, and we would act accordingly.

And without looking, I knew Coach Bloom was watching how we worked together.

I allowed Pete to take me down to the mat and cross my ankles, threading his arm through my legs to cup my knee while he squatted down like Kyle had demonstrated to me. My shoulders immediately came up off the mat. Old habits die hard. Shoulders on the mat meant the three count could start.

Pete flipped me over onto my stomach quickly stepping over my back, bending me at my hips. His hands were tight on my thighs, and my body rebelled against me. Dampness flooded my panties and I felt my face flush. I tapped, and he gently placed my legs back on the mat, probably a bit gentler than he should have. Rolling over, I gave him a weak smile when he reached down to help me up. I could have imagined it, but it seemed to me that his hand lingered too long on mine.

Bloom asked me if I felt comfortable in the hold, and I could only nod. What was I going to say? _No, Coach. I’m turned on and feeling weak._ I asked a question about hand placement, just to make it seem like I was concerned about inflicting actual pain or pressure on my opponent. Pete explained that the best way to counteract that was to tuck a leg under the armpit, and to step over the back quickly so as to not apply pressure on the calf.

It was now Pete’s turn. Foregoing the takedown, he lay on his back and I stood over him, realizing I was going to actually have to put my hands on him after swearing to myself that I never would again. Obviously, this was a different context, but my body seemed to forget that fact.

“Come on, Syd,” he whispered to me. “Just do the move and we can get out of here.”

Mentally I prepared myself, bending down to pick up his legs to cross them. Immediately, his hands where there on mine, seemingly repositioning them. But my hands never actually moved. They were in the right place. My eyes flicked up to his and he seemed hesitant and apologetic. I couldn’t figure it out exactly.

“Here. They need to be here.”

They _were_ there. What was he doing? Trying to not make a scene, I shifted my hands as if he was directing me, and he removed his. My skin felt as if he had burned me. Squatting low, I lifted his lower body in the air, which was a feat in itself. Pete was not a slender man.

I heard Ethan shout something encouraging, but I didn’t look at him. I was still locked in an eye to eye battle with Pete, who’s shoulders were down to the mat. In the back of my mind, I found this odd. My first instinct had been to lift my shoulders when I was down, yet here Pete was, allowing me to cinch his legs and pin his shoulders to the mat.

Shaking my head, I checked his position again and determining it safe, I shifted my shoulders, causing Pete to turn over onto his stomach while I stepped over his back. Pete’s upper body lifted as he pressed his hands to the mat so he was in a crab walk. My arms wrapped around Pete’s thighs, I felt them clench against my hold and I leveraged myself backwards, applying pressure to his lower back.

I felt more than I heard the tap on the mat, but I immediately dropped Pete’s legs.

Bloom chucked from his position against the turnbuckle. “Maybe during practice you shouldn’t just dump your opponent after they tap, but I appreciate your commitment to character.”

Flushing, I apologized, turning to help Pete off the mat. “You did good, Syd.”

“Thanks.”

Exiting the ring, I realized the whole run through was less than five minutes. It had felt like so much longer. Kyle was waiting for me with a big smile. “You did great.”

I returned his smile. “How you explained it to me made a lot of sense. Thank you.”

He waved me off. “No problem.”

I don’t know what made me do it, but I impulsively asked, “Hey do you mind showing me some more moves? I’d like to start using submissions routinely in my matches.”

Kyle’s grin couldn’t have possibly gotten any bigger. “What do I get out of it?”

“Um, I can cook you dinner? I’m out of practice, but I promise I can make a mean lasagna.”

Laughing, he turned to move towards the trainer’s room, motioning me to follow. “Oh so you want me to be your guinea pig in and out of the ring?”

For some reason, the sexual connotations of his question made my brain spin, but I gave him a genuine laugh. “Someone has to be my test dummy.”

“Oh so now I’m a dummy? Wow, I’m not sure you are gaining any points here.”

Tugging on my ponytail, I bit my lip, enjoying how his eyes darted to the movement. “I’ll make it up to you by proving my in-ring skill and my culinary prowess.”

Kyle’s eyebrows rose up. “Culinary prowess? Really?”

I nodded sagely. “Absolutely. But I insist on the training first. No rewards without teaching.”

“Oh, of course. That sounds fair. But I have a request of my own.”

Leaning against the wall next to the trainer’s room, I crossed my arms. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ethan stepping over Pete’s back and _wrenching_ hard, purposefully doing what we were told not to do. Rolling my eyes, I looked again at Kyle. Ethan was enacting his best friend privileges of revenge and I wasn’t about to intervene. “I am frightened to ask what your request might be.”

Once again, Kyle flashed his flirty smile and I felt like a light bulb. His smile should have been illegal, the cad. “I go grocery shopping with you.”

I coughed in surprise. “What?”

“Yep. That’s my request.”

Not knowing how to react, I stepped away from the wall, turning to leave him behind. “You are a strange man, O’Reily.”

As I left I heard him mutter, “Oh, you have no idea, Pretty Girl.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is everyone so annoying?

Our first training session was scheduled for the following week since we had shows that weekend. Even though I wasn’t on the card, everyone was expected to attend. Finding a window seat on the bus, I dug my phone out of my backpack to listen to music on the way to the venue. I felt someone sit next to me and found Kyle beaming at me.

“There are other seats, Kyle.”

He shrugged. “Yeah but none of them have you sitting in them.”

I bit my lip, looking up to see Ethan getting on the bus. His eyebrows raised upon seeing Kyle, in what was normally his seat. I gave him an apologetic smile, and he rolled his eyes, quietly sitting in the seat in front of me without a word.

Kyle also remained quiet, pulling a book out of his bag and opening it to a bookmark. I couldn’t help but stare at him. He had been hanging around a lot lately, at least, more than usual. Before the submission training, Kyle only came around if Adam and Bobby were there. But in the last few days, he had sought me out at multiple points to ask me questions or to talk about different articles that he had read.

And, to be honest, I didn’t mind. He was interesting and nice. We never lacked for conversation, and he didn’t mind when I asked wrestling questions or had him explain his life when he lived in Japan.

Soon, the bus started and when everyone was accounted for, we took off towards our show venue. Kyle quietly read his book and I bobbed my head slightly to the music in my ear buds. Occasionally, Ethan would reach his hand over the seat towards me, sharing his pack of Twizzlers with me, still a word between us unspoken.

The trip was only an hour long, so before I knew it we had parked behind the building and everyone was filing off the bus. I watched as Kyle picked up his bag, give me a small smile, and followed everyone to the front of the bus before getting off. Ethan stood, looking at me over the back of the seat.

“He likes you.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s a nice guy, E. And he’s going to help me train in submission moves. Don’t read into it.”

Shifting his bag against his shoulder, he squinted at me. “Really? I didn’t hear one word about submission moves the whole trip here. So, why did he sit next to you?”

Brushing him off, I stood and moved into the aisle, seeing we were the last two on the bus. “So you were eavesdropping? That’s smooth.”

“Don’t avoid my question, Syd.”

I ignored him. “I don’t know why he sat next to me, E. I can’t read his mind.”

Ethan followed me down the aisle. “Well, it seems to me that now that you are single, he’s getting ready to make his move.”

Without thinking, I whirled around to face him, stepping close to my best friend. “I’ve always been single, Ethan. Don’t bring that up again.” My tone was low, aggressive, but Ethan didn’t seem fazed.

“You might have been single, but your heart wasn’t.”

Giving him one last glare, I turned again, leaving the bus and marching off towards the locker rooms. Sometimes, Ethan really bugged me. He was fiercely protective, but I couldn’t tell if he was happy about Kyle being around more or not. And friend or not, he knew little to nothing about the status of my heart.

Dropping my bag in the locker room, I rushed to join the rest of the wrestlers setting up the ring. Dakota and Candice were unfolding the ring apron, so I moved over near them, grabbing the rubber mats that surrounded the ring. There was chit chat going on around me, but I didn’t participate. My mood was soured by Ethan’s allegation.

Truth be told, I was enjoying Kyle’s attention. Like I had told Ethan, Kyle was nice. He was smart and funny and I really enjoyed hanging out with him the few times I had. And to suddenly put the pressure on the newfound friendship with supposed crushing seemed to taint what I had been enjoying, especially so soon after letting Pete go. I just wasn’t ready for that.

I was shocked to feel a hand at my elbow. Turning, I found Kyle next to me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I called your name but you didn’t hear me.” He immediately let go of my arm.

Shrugging, I dropped the rubber mat I held. “No worries, what’s up?”

“I know we have our first session scheduled for next week but I thought once the ring is set up I could show you a move or two. Obviously, you won’t be able to use it tonight, but it will at least loosen you up.”

I shook my head. “Oh, I’m not wrestling tonight, I’m not on the card.”

Kyle seemed shocked. “What? Why?”

I felt redness tinge my cheeks. “Um, my behavior hasn’t been that great.”

Realizing what I meant, he nodded, but didn’t ask any questions, which I was grateful for. “Ok, we can still try some things out.”

Nodding, I gestured to the mats. “I’ll finish up here and come find you?”

Kyle agreed and walked away. I resumed placing the padding around the ring, barely looking up except to check placements and that I wasn’t going to bump into anyone as I drug them around. My mind was preoccupied with submission moves that I had seen, and how I wanted to change them up to fit my style.

“Wow you looked spaced out.”

The voice jolted me out of my daydream and I dropped the mat I had been holding. Finding Deonna Purrazzo standing on the other end of the mat, I tilted my head at her. “I was thinking.”

Her hands on her hips, she gave me a slight smile. “Sorry to interrupt.”

Silently, I waited, wanting to see why she was standing in front of me. She had been at the PC for only about four or five weeks, and kept to herself for the most part. She had her friends, sure, but she liked to train alone. More recently, she had been on NXTUK television, and I had a sneaking suspicion she was headed overseas permanently in the near future.

Clearing her throat, Deonna looked down. “So, I wanted to see how you are doing.”

I felt my blood boil. No matter what Candice said, I didn’t believe that Deonna unintentionally started rumors about me. It didn’t add up. “I’m great, actually.” My tone was flippant, but my eyes were sharp. I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her.

Nodding, she bit her lip and tugged at the end of her ponytail. “Um, Pete is staying with us.”

My eyes narrowed. I already knew that, Pete had said that was where he was going. Why did she feel the need to tell me that? “I didn’t ask.”

“Oh, I know. But I thought you might be wondering how he was.” Her nasally tone was grating on my nerves, and I had to quell the need to look around for anyone to help me escape this awkward encounter.

“Deonna, the only reason Pete is staying with you and Marty is because instead of coming to me directly and talking to me, you started rumors about my situation. Not only about Pete, but about my issues with alcohol. Private issues, I might add.”

She gave me a panicked look, but it felt false. “Oh, no! I swear I was just asking people if you were ok!”

Crossing my arms, I leaned against the ring. “Again, instead of asking me, you asked other people. We hardly speak, Deonna, so why would you even care if I’m ok?”

Huffing, she shifted from foot to foot. “Because Pete is my friend.”

I’d had enough of this go round. “Look, I don’t know what your issues are, Hell, you might actually be coming from a good place, but right now, I’m suspicious and wary of you. You’ve soured my reputation in the eyes of others, and you’ve split Pete and I up before we dealt with the problems between us. So, for now, I suggest you keep your distance from me. I don’t believe your sudden concern for my wellbeing is genuine at all.”

With that, kicking the mat with my shoe to jostle it into its final resting place for the evening, I stomped off, aggravated and annoyed. As I approached the curtain to the backstage area, I found Ethan and Kyle standing there, both with amused expressions on their faces.

“What?” I snapped.

Kyle threw his hands up and snickered, keeping silent. Ethan couldn’t stay quiet if his life depended on it. “Good thing you are sparring with O’Reilly later. Looks like Purrazzo wound you up.”

Sneering at him, I slugged his shoulder, passing through the curtain, ignoring their laughs. Ethan was right though. Kyle better be prepared because I was ready to make a bitch tap.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man, that Deonna chick is nosy as hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Disclaimer*  
> I actually like Deonna Purrazzo, but as everyone knows, every story needs a villain. And since she's dating one... *shrugs*

“This is one of Bobby’s favorites,” Kyle said to me later in the ring. We had about an hour before the doors opened and people started filing in, and everyone on the card had already warmed up or were finishing up in the back.

Standing across from him, entranced by his baggy red basketball shorts and t-shirt with cut off sleeves and sides, I watched how he walked around the space. He was confident, at home, much like I was, in this 20x20 squared circle. He and Bobby had a tag match later that night, so he wasn’t in his gear yet. I was in simple black yoga pants and one of Ethan’s merch shirts. Kyle’s body was honed by years of dedication and work ethic and is showed. I swallowed hard.

“What is it?” I asked, automatically locking up with Kyle. Forehead to forehead, our arms intertwined around each other’s heads.

Knocking one of my arms to the side creating the opening he needed, he wrenched my arm behind my back, causing me to rise up on my tip toes. “The knee bar with Heel Hook.”

I could have imagined it, but Kyle’s breath on the back of my ear and neck seemed closer than he really needed to be, and his body was pressed against mine. Scoffing, I shook my head. “This doesn’t feel like a knee bar.”

Kyle chuckled behind me before sweeping his foot out, knocking my own out from under me. I had enough presence of mind to brace myself with one arm before I faceplanted into the mat. As I went down, Kyle let go of the arm he held behind my back and caught one of my legs as it flew into the air, immediately turning me to my side and locking one leg over my thigh, tucking my foot under his armpit and then wrapping his arms around my shoe.

The pressure in my ankle and knee was tremendous. This was not a fake out move. When applied, I felt my whole lower leg begin to go numb. Trying to sit up, I looked at him, my mouth gaping open. “Oh my god. Fuck! Ow!”

Kyle slowly released the pressure, but kept a hold of my leg. His grin was mischievous, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him. “See why it’s one of his favorites?”

My mind was whirling, trying to piece all of it together, from the take down to the release. “Is that he only way to put a person in it? From the back like that?”

Shaking his head, Kyle stood, holding his hand out for me to take. As he helped me to my feet, his grin grew as he saw me test my foot out. “No, the great thing about that move is that you can apply it so fast. As long as you can hook that foot, you can twist your opponent in any direction you want to go.”

I nodded, watching again as he demonstrated with his hands the best way to take a person down. I asked lots of questions, step by step, making sure I wasn’t legitimately hurting anyone if I used the move. Kyle was infinitely patient. He was a great coach, very patient and didn’t mind repeating something over and over until I felt comfortable.

“So,” that nasally voice I was beginning to despise interrupted. “Is Kyle your new lover? You move on fast.”

Kyle again had me face down on the mat with his leg over mine, except this time he was showing me how he could apply pressure to the back of the thigh by sitting up. His hand was on the back of my leg, fairly high up but respectfully, as he pushed my calf up in the air with his armpit when he sat up. Hearing the voice, Kyle and I both looked over to find Deonna peering through the bottom rope at us. The way she said “lover” made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, like the idea was absolutely repulsive to her.

“Kyle’s my coach.”

She scrunched up her nose. “My coach doesn’t touch me like that.”

I felt Kyle’s hand on my leg tense, and then it was gone as he disentangled himself and stood up. “Maybe your coach doesn’t like you. I don’t know how you are supposed to learn anything without getting a little handsy. Which is probably why you aren’t on the card again.”

I smiled at Kyle’s jab as I gained my feet with Kyle’s assistance. Always the gentleman, I’d noticed.

Deonna wasn’t bothered. “No but I managed to at least make in onto NXTUK TV for the last month.”

I couldn’t help the snort of derision that came out of my nose. “Those episodes were taped two months ago and you haven’t been back since.”

Before Deonna could respond, Kyle interrupted. “What do you want?”

Glaring, she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I just came to tell you that the doors are opening in 10 minutes. You need to get out of the ring.”

“We’ll get out when we are ready but thanks for the warning.”

I was surprised by Kyle’s dismissal of Deonna, but seeing the look of pure annoyance on her face made my heart do a little dance. She was rapidly wearing out her welcome.

Not one to let anyone else get the last word, she clicked her tongue and began walking away. “All I know is, if Pete saw how handsy you are letting other people get with you, his feelings would get hurt.”

My heart sank. I had no idea why Deonna felt it was necessary to insert herself in my business, but she suddenly had a lot of opinions, and I wished she would have stepped in the ring so that I could try out that handy new Heel Hook I learned. And bringing up Pete wasn’t needed either. I had momentarily forgotten about him and the drama of our relationship, or whatever it was, and had been focused on learning a new skill. I was enjoying myself. Deonna had it all wrong, I thought as I climbed out of the ring. Pete wouldn’t get his feelings hurt over my sparring with another person. It wasn’t rational.

But as I walked toward the back, I could still feel the warmth of Kyle’s hand on the back of my thigh, and I noticed a persistent dampness in my underwear. Maybe Deonna wasn’t as far off as I wanted her to be.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relapse and bad judgement

Sometimes I even surprised myself. I just wish I could give myself good surprises, like a twenty dollar bill in the laundry, or pre-pay my bills for the next month, but no, this surprise wasn’t welcome. It was disappointing.

A pint of Jack was found in the bottom of my gym bag and was presently pressed to my lips as I guzzled the contents down in the ladies bathroom. The rush I felt was both shameful and relieving.  Five days away from alcohol felt like forever, and while I was doing better than everyone seemed to give me credit for, I wasn’t doing as good as they had hoped. No major withdrawals, no shaking, no mood swings, but I wasn’t sleeping, and I cried for hours on end from feeling like a failure in my love life. Drinking had never been about getting drunk or trying to forget, it had always been quelling the loneliness and the emptiness in my heart.

As I sat curled up on the concrete floor of the bathroom, the small bottle cradled against my chest, I was staring at Pete’s number on my phone. Everything inside of me cried out for me to call him, to hear his voice. That maybe if I spoke to him, I wouldn’t hurt so much. That the hole in my heart that I tried to ignore wouldn’t be so obvious.

In the end, I didn’t have enough guts to call him in my current state.

But I did text him.

I was weak.

**_Me: I know I shouldn’t, but I miss you_ **

His reply was almost instant.

**_Pete: I’ve been staring at my phone for days wondering if I should contact you_ **

**_Me: Always. Always contact me if you want to_ **

More than the Jack in my system, hearing that Pete wanted to talk to me bolstered my reserve.

**_Pete: How are you doing?_ **

**_Me: Not as good as I wanted_ **

**_Pete: It’s a process. But I believe in you_ **

Biting my lip I closed my eyes. Ok, that hurt. I was letting people down, hiding in this bathroom while the show went on. Not reaching out when I needed help. But all I really wanted was Pete. Impulsively, I felt the urge to confess my sins.

**_Me: I’m doing something I shouldn’t be_ **

His reply was delayed, and I worried I had overstepped.

**_Pete: Are you ok?_ **

I ignored his question and asked one of my own.

**_Me: How often to do wonder why we couldn’t make it work?_ **

**_Pete: More than I should. We aren’t good for each other, but I don’t even know why_ **

He wasn’t wrong, but it was the first time he had ever spelled it out that way. We weren’t good for each other. I was at work, at a show, hiding in the bathroom chugging Jack Daniels and texting my ex instead of cheering on my co-workers and helping my friends prepare for their matches. I was missing a guy who I didn’t even love, who I only wanted because I couldn’t have him.

And I had no idea what he was doing, except texting me while I did exactly what I promised I wouldn’t.

**_Me: I wanted so much with you and here I am with nothing to show for the last year and a half_ **

**_Pete: I’m in the same boat, Love. We just aren’t compatible_ **

That made my stomach twist.

**_Pete: Listen, don’t be mad at me. But I had to._ **

I didn’t know what he meant and was about to respond when the bathroom door was violently pushed open so hard that it slammed against the wall. The sound made me flinch. Deonna was standing there, a sneer on her face as she loudly, for everyone to hear, yelled, “I found her! With a bottle!”

I gasped, dropping the nearly empty bottle on my chest as I rapidly stood up. The liquid poured all over my shirt, leaving a large stain covering it. My arms wide open in shock, I looked up to see a scornful expression on Deonna’s face.

“Why am I not surprised? A damn slosh even at work. Disgusting.”

Ethan and Dakota rounded the corner into the bathroom, both with concerned expressions on their faces. “Syd,” Ethan mumbled.

Immediately, tears began pouring out of my eyes. I was so embarrassed and disgusted with myself. “E, I am so sorry!”

Deonna scoffed. “Now she’s sorry? Too late for that!”

Dakota rounded on her. “Shut up! She needs help and if you aren’t going to do that you need to leave!”

“Oh,” she sneered. “I’m going to leave….”

Ethan’s hand shot out to brace against the wall, barring her exit from the bathroom. “If I find out you said one word about this to anyone, I will ruin your career. Do you understand?”

Casting another look at me from over her shoulder, Deonna ducked under his arm and left the room.

Leaning against the sink, I dropped the bottle in it, the clinking of the glass doing nothing to stop my sobs. Instantly my friends were beside me, Dakota stripping my t-shirt off my body and wrapping me up in her flannel she usually had tied around her waist before her matches. I didn’t see what she did with the shirt I had been wearing, but I was grateful to no longer be drenched in alcohol.

The bottle was also gone from the sink the next time I looked down, and I saw Ethan doing something to the garbage can in the corner of the room. But he quickly turned back to me, taking me in his arms. As I apologized over and over against his chest, he shushed me, rocking me back and forth. I only sobbed, gripping his shirt tightly against my face.

I felt Dakota’s hand against my back, rubbing circles lightly. “What happened?”

Sniffling, I leaned back, glaring at the empty doorway to the bathroom. “Deonna Purrazzo happened.”

“Ignore her,” Dakota responded, turning me away from Ethan so that I could face her. “I don’t know what her deal is, but she’s obviously bothered by you. Which means you have something she wants. She’s jealous, ok? Don’t let her get to you.”

“I texted Pete.” The confession tumbled from my lips, and I worriedly cast a glance over my shoulder at Ethan. His expression was concerned, but not mad. “I couldn’t stop myself once I had that bottle in my hand.”

“Old habits die hard, Syd,” Ethan chirped. Once again, he drew me into his arms and rested his chin on the top of my head. “You should have come to me.”

I shook my head, closing my eyes against the shame. I didn’t even have words or an explanation. And truth be told, I was tired of making excuses, or talking about it, or letting everyone down who tried to help me.

Making myself stand up, I grabbed my phone from floor where I had left it upon Deonna slamming through the door. It was unlocked, and I saw that Pete had sent another text during all of the commotion.

**_Pete: You need help. I called Deonna._ **

Traitor….


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete checks in on Sydney, and tells her what she's always wanted to hear

The ride home was uncomfortable. Ethan watched me like I was about to break free and make a run for the liquor store, and Dakota and Candice made sure everyone left me alone. Kyle kept throwing me worried glances on the bus, but I buried my head in Ethan’s shirt and tired to ignore him. I didn’t know what to say. Candice had done damage control once she came back from her match, telling everyone I had food poisoning while Dakota threatened Deonna with a head kick if she said anything to anyone.

All of it made me feel horrible. I expected to make mistakes. I had hoped not to, but I wasn’t stupid. All my friends were circling the wagons around me and all I wanted to do was drink myself into a stupor to avoid their worried expressions.

It was close to 3AM when Uber dropped me off at my apartment. Ethan rode with me, of course, but didn’t come inside. I was glad for that, because I just wanted to be away from prying eyes for a while.

Once inside, I dropped my bag in the foyer and pulled my phone out. I was starving and didn’t feel like making anything. Plopping down on the couch, I opened the UberEats app on my phone and began scrolling, trying to find something that sounded good. It only took a few minutes and just as I was about to make my selection, an ad caught my eye.

**Add any drink to your order for only $5**

And I did it. I ordered food and a drink. An alcoholic drink. I didn’t even know what kind I got, and it didn’t matter. I clicked “checkout” and, as if he knew I was creating trouble for myself, Pete’s name popped up on my phone.

Signing, I answered it. “Hello?”

 _“Hello,”_ his deep, very British voice responded. Instantly chills broke out on my body and I felt like groaning. _“Are you home yet, Love?”_

Shifting a little on the couch, I sighed. “Um, yes. I just walked through the door actually.”

There was a moment of silence and then, _“Are you very mad at me?”_

My eyes darted around my living room, searching for what, I wasn’t sure. “I don’t even know, Pete.”

_“Can I come over?”_

My breath caught in my chest and my brain couldn’t formulate thoughts. He wanted to come over? After knowing I had been drinking at the show? After sending Deonna to “check” on me? He basically tattled on me!

 _“Sydney? Did you hear me?”_ he asked after I hadn’t responded.

“Yes.”

_“Yes? Yes, I can come over or yes, you heard me?”_

It felt like someone else answering when I said, “Both.”

_“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”_

I hung up, staring at the phone like it would provide me some answers. None of this made sense. I thought we were over. We had decided we were too different. He didn’t like that I drank. I didn’t like that he used me as a notch in his bedpost.

This couldn’t possibly be a good idea.

While I waited, I canceled my UberEats order. I didn’t want some random person showing up at my place while Pete was there. This forced me to eat one of the Protein Bars I had bought for Pete, which tasted like peanut butter covered cardboard. It only soured my mood further.

A soft knock sounded on my door, and I bounced up off the couch and across the carpet like an excited puppy. Mentally I sneered at myself. Was I ever going to stop acting like Pete was God?

Opening the door, I softly smiled at Pete, letting him inside. He was dressed in trackpants and a white t-shirt with some brand on it I didn’t recognize. He leaned over and kissed my cheek before moving into the apartment, and the confusion settled inside me deeper. This wasn’t supposed to be happening.

The soft click of the door was the only sound until I cleared my throat. “Need a drink?”

He shook his head, making the bun on top of his head wobble. “Nah. I want to hear about you. How are you doing?”

Standing behind the couch, looking at him in the middle of my living room, I shrugged. “I mean, I can’t say I’m fine because that’s obviously a lie.”

He gave me a slight smirk. “Maybe that’s a step in the right direction.”

I didn’t respond. What would I have said anyway?

“Look, Love, I’m sorry for involving Deonna. I was worried.”

That sparked a little resentment inside of me. “You have Ethan’s number, Pete. You could have called him. Someone I trust.”

He huffed, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “What do you have against Deonna? I don’t understand. She’s never done anything to hurt you.”

Crossing my arms over my chest I glared at him. “First, I don’t know her. We’ve said hi maybe twice. Second, suddenly she knows my issues and is feigning concern, enough that everyone in the PC is suddenly involved. Third, you didn’t see the look on her face tonight. It was like she caught me cheating on you, which is ridiculous, considering we _aren’t_ together and it’s none of her damn business.”

“Sydney that’s not fair.”

I cut him off. “No Pete, what isn’t fair is I keep telling everyone I am uncomfortable with her yet no one is taking me seriously!”

He was silent for a moment before rounding the couch to stand next to me. “I don’t agree, but I’ll try to keep her out of our lives.”

I scoffed. “Are you listening to yourself? We broke up! Or, whatever it is we did.”

Pete reached out, putting his hand on my arm. His touch was soft, I assumed he meant it to be reassuring, but my nerves were frayed and my emotions felt erratic, and I knew I couldn’t trust myself.

“Pete, unless you plan on staying, you shouldn’t touch me.” My words were a whisper, and I looked down at the carpet, ashamed to meet his eyes.

“Syd, I don’t know if I ever told you, but I admire how resilient you are. You never stop trying.”

His words broke my heart. If only he knew how often I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I could just rest. Wishing that for once, something would just fall into place and be _easy_ for me, that I wouldn’t let down the ones I love with my weaknesses.

“Love?”

I looked up, meeting his hooded eyes.

“I’m staying.”

And, like an idiot, I believed him, because him staying was my greatest wish. I sailed into his arms, his lips against mine and we kissed hungrily. It was familiar, easy. It was what should have happened a week ago when he first arrived from England. My hands already knew what to do, accustomed to the paths they naturally took to Pete’s hair, removing the tie so that his hair flowed around our faces, down to his chest, feeling his strength in his muscles.

This was what I wanted. This is what I yearned for. This is what I wished for while drowning myself in the fires of liquid hell.

And automatically he began moving us towards my bedroom, slipping the buttons free from Dakota’s flannel I still wore and sliding it down my arms. I dropped it on the floor, ignoring it while I pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere I couldn’t see.

In no time, he was laying me on my bed, his weight on his elbows so that he wouldn’t crush me as I licked and nibbled at his lips, silently begging him to keep kissing me.

“Syd,” he whispered, nuzzling my neck. “Syd.”

“Hmm?” I mumbled, not deterred from my task.

“I just want you to know, you are important to me. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t.”

I had to keep my face turned from him, kissing his shoulder and neck, so that he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes. And as he moved to start unbuttoning my jeans, I wiped one off my cheek. There was no way I could speak, his words touching a part of my heart I had walled off that night he told me he didn’t want anything serious with me.

My eyes closed against the feelings stirring in my chest. Could I survive hope? Could I do this all over again?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected White Knight....

The answer was no. Upon awakening the next morning, my body deliciously sore in a way it hadn’t been in months, I rolled over finding Pete gone and a note on the pillow.

Goodbye

That goodbye haunted me. It sounded so different. So final. He had never left a note before, and I clutched the small piece of paper to my chest as I cried into my sheets. I had done it again. Opened myself up just to be cast aside. Give Pete Dunne an inch, and he would take a mile. I was sure I had heard someone say that about him on NXT TV. How true it was.

How could he? After telling me that he would stay, that I was important to him. How could he say those things and yet, still disappear into the night? How could I believe him? Pretty words meant nothing in the end.

I rolled over, blindly fumbling for my phone through my tears. Finding it on the bedside table, I opened my contacts list, intending on calling Ethan. I wanted a drink, but I just couldn’t stomach feeling shittier than I did at that moment.

“Hello?”

I scrunched my face up in confused. “This isn’t Ethan.”

A soft chuckle reached my ears. “No, Sydney, it’s Kyle. What’s up?”

Pulling the phone away from my ear, I blinked away the wetness in my eyes, only to roll them upon finding that I didn’t know the alphabet, and I had mistakenly called Kyle instead of Ethan.

“Sorry Kyle, I meant to call Ethan.” I sniffled.

“Well I gathered that, but you’ve been crying. Are you ok?” he asked, clearly worried.

I had to smile slightly. Kyle was so kind, it almost didn’t seem real. “That’s up for debate. I’ll talk to you later, ok? I need to find Ethan.”

Kyle interrupted my goodbye. “Are you home?” When I answered yes, he continued. “I’ll be right over.”

Pulling the phone away from my ear in shock, I saw that he had hung up. Why was he coming over? That didn’t make sense. Placing my phone on my chest, I heard the crinkle of paper and looked down, finding the stupid note crushed under my phone on top of the sheet. A fresh waves of tears crashed through me and a rolled over to my side, curling into the fetal position.

I don’t know how much time had passed, but I must have fallen asleep because I heard a knock and then my name being called. Kyle’s face peered around the corner of my open bedroom door, a cautious expression on his face.

“Syd, the door was unlocked so I let myself in.”

More tears escaped forming sobs at the thought that Pete didn’t even care enough about me or my safety to lock the door behind him when he left.

Taking a step inside my room, Kyle beat a rhythm on his thigh with his fingers, clearly nervous. “Is this ok? Can I come in?”

I could only nod, as words escaped me.

“Do you need anything?”

Shaking my head, is squeezed my eyes shut.

“Can I lay down next to you? I promise I won’t touch you.”

A nod of consent later, I felt the bed dip as he lay where Pete had been just a few short hours before. “I’m naked, Kyle.” My voice was thick with tears, but he heard me.

“Yeah, I gathered that. I won’t look.”

I couldn’t help but laugh and I opened my eyes, finding his hazel ones looking at me, his head on the pillow, laying on top of the sheets.

We stared at each other for a while, not speaking. The sun continued to rise, casting patterns through the blinds onto the wall behind me. The light played on the stubble of Kyle’s chin, showing reds and blondes in the hair, catching my attention. When he finally spoke, my tears had dried up. “Did he leave again?”

I bit my lip, the note scratching my palm where I held it to my chest. “He left a note. He’s never done that before.”

Kyle nodded slightly. “So this time it’s different?”

“Feels that way,” I whispered, looking way from his intense gaze. Strangely, the moment felt comfortable, as if we did this all the time. “I wanted to drink. That’s why I tried to call Ethan. I’ve been having problems.”

Kyle’s hand moved up in between us, but he still didn’t touch me. “That’s why I came over. I know it was a little presumptuous of me, and forward to just crawl in bed with you, but I wanted to help. And I know you wanted Ethan, but I was worried that if you waited to long, you’d figure out a way.”

A gave him a slight smile. “Thanks. This isn’t so bad. Normally Ethan hugs me and tell me it’s going to be ok, but it never is.”

Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed. “Well I can hold you, and tell you it’s going to be ok, and it will be. Because you are going to make it that way. No one can do that for you, that’s a choice you have to make.” He sighed, but it wasn’t one of annoyance. More like he needed to release a deep breath. “Syd, it may not mean anything to you, but I hope you consider me your friend. And I’m saying that because when I say that your friends are here for you, I’m including myself. It was good that you tried to reach out to Ethan, but he’s not the only one that wants to help.”

I flushed and instantly became aware of the state of my body. I could feel the burn from Pete’s beard between my thighs and on my face from his kisses. I probably had red burn on my skin that was very visible to Kyle, and that suddenly bothered me.

Clearing my throat, I gave him a very Pete-like half shrug. “Thanks Kyle. Um, I’d like to get up now.”

Quickly he sat up. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No!” I shouted, sitting up also, keeping the sheet tucked against my chest with the dastardly note. Shocked at my outburst, Kyle only stared at me. “Um, please stay. I just want to take a shower and get dressed.”

“Alright. I’ll just, uh, go to the living room. And wait.”

“Great.” I watched him stand and move away from the bed. “Coffee. Can you make coffee?” I don’t know why my words sounded like I was at a first grade reading level, but when he turned around to give me a dubious expression, I lost all train of thought. Kyle really was very handsome, and I felt weird noticing that while I had Pete’s scent on my body. Like I was betraying Pete or something.

“Yeah, Syd. I can make coffee. And eggs, and bacon, and pancakes, and smoothies, and…” he kept naming food items even as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Silently I sat still for a moment, trying to absorb the wild swing my emotions had taken just that morning.

“Oh!” I heard Kyle yell. “I can also make French toast!”

A huge smile spread across my face and I felt momentarily stunned. I felt…happy? Relieved? I didn’t really know, but I was suddenly very glad I forgot my alphabet that morning.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast with O'Reilly

Upon exiting my bedroom, I found Kyle moving about my kitchen, humming to himself and wearing the “Fork Off” apron Ethan had given me for Christmas last year. Kyle seemed cheerful, in his own zone, cracking eggs and wielding the whisk as if he was subbing for Rachel Ray.

“What are you making?” I asked, approaching him. I leaned against the bar, entranced by how Kyle’s mood seemed to seep into my apartment’s atmosphere. The sun seemed brighter, the sky bluer, and scents from the stove, more enticing. But I was beginning to learn that was just Kyle, and what he brought with him. He was a happy guy, laid back and easy going.

Looking up at me, he smirked. “I mentioned French Toast for a reason. You had the fixins.”

A small smile tried to appear on my lips at Kyle’s sudden Southern twang. “I thought I was supposed to cook for you. Wasn’t that the deal?”

He waved me off, turning to take a bowl of beat up eggs to the stove. Beside it lay a pan with flour, ready for bread I didn’t even know I had. “You are going to cook me dinner after submission training. This is different. This is a friend cooking breakfast for another friend. Completely innocent.”

Scrunching my nose, I slid onto the barstool and tilted my head when Kyle looked over his shoulder at me. “Let me get this straight. You cooking breakfast for me, after finding me naked and crying in bed mind you, is innocent, but me cooking dinner for you after training is _not_ innocent?”

He laughed, bending over to rummage in my cabinet for a pan. I caught myself admiring his backside for too long before I forced my gaze away. What was wrong with me?!

“Teaching you submission moves is not going to be innocent in anyway. I hate to bring her up, but Deonna was right. Gotta get handsy if you are going to train.”

A small ball of warmth formed in my stomach as I thought about what that meant. Trying to keep on track, I made a face. “Ew, Deonna. There is a mood killer.”

I was learning to love Kyle’s laugh. It was deep without being full of bass. More of a baritone. Musical almost, and his smile was incredibly charming, making me want to see it more and more with each glance.

“So after breakfast,” he spoke while warming up the pan, his back to me, “why don’t you and I go do something fun?”

I bit my lip. All I really wanted to do was cry on the couch, but maybe getting outside was exactly what I needed. “How do you feel about taking a hike at Wekiwa Springs?”

Excitedly, Kyle turned to me. “That sounds like a great idea.”

“I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard they have some great trails.” I was reaching. I knew a small amount of the state park that was about twenty minutes away from my place, but if it distracted me, I’d be willing to go to the landfill too. It didn’t matter at that point.

Kyle nodded. “Sounds great. Wanna map it out and I’ll finish up?”

Relieved to have a small project that kept me from eye-balling Kyle any more than I already had, I moved to the small desk I had set up in the space that most would use as a dining room. Upon opening my laptop, I was greeted with a picture of Pete and I on the background. The picture was from happier times, when everything was still fresh and fun and not full of worry and agonizing over mannerisms. Pete stood with his arm around my shoulder, his cheek pressed against the top of my head. We were both smiling. A full blown smile from Pete was like hitting the lottery, it’s no wonder why I chose that picture.

Suddenly I snapped the laptop closed, letting out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Kyle heard the noise and leaned over the bar top to peer at me.

“Everything ok?”

I gave him a weak smile and nodded. “Sure. It’s running too slow, so I’ll just use my phone.”

He gave a shrug and disappeared back behind the bar. Signing, I ran my hands over my face. Pete Dunne permeated everything in my life. How was I going to avoid thinking about him long enough to get over him? It seemed impossible. What really seemed to annoy me was how I wasn’t even mad at Pete. It would have been easier if he was an asshole or had lied from the beginning. But other than having an apparent severe phobia about sleeping next to me, he’d been truthful about everything. And was _nice_ about it. Reasonable. While I flailed around crying and bemoaning some fantasy life that never existed.

Glaring off into space, I made a decision. Taking it one day at a time, I was going to move on. I had to. Pete and I had created a toxic safe place of sorts, relying on each other to provide a routine. Pete was right, we weren’t good for each other. We were like opposing magnets struggling to find a way to be together. All it caused was stress. And it was up to me to avoid that in the future.

Starting with removing Pete from my life visually. Out of sight, out of mind.

I just hoped it worked.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sydney learns more about Kyle than she ever really wanted to know....maybe....

Heaving deep breaths, my lungs screaming in pain, I lay in the dirt staring up through the trees at the blue sky above me. Not even a foot away, Kyle lay spread eagle, his own breath ragged and his eyes closed.

“Why,” he gasped, “did you make me do that?”

My indignant laugh turned into a coughing fit when I couldn’t get enough air. “Me?” I squeaked through each burst. “You said, and I quote, ‘race you to the end of the trail’ and then you took off!”

He gave a helpless chuckle, opening his eyes. We turned our heads to look at each other, then fell into a fit of giggles. All day, Kyle had been egging me on and pushing my buttons, but in a way that was fun and harmless, a little bit flirty too. Teasing me about my driving when I misheard the GPS directions and turned left instead of right, making comments about how I must be worried about blinding someone with my super pale legs because I chose yoga pants to hike in instead of shorts, telling me he was sure I was going to get eaten by an alligator when I tried to suggest we go on the boardwalk through the swamp instead of the trail, and so on.

Spending time with Kyle was exactly the distraction I needed. He was full of random tidbits and could hold a conversation entirely on his own. All I needed to do was make the appropriate sounds when prompted and off he’d go.

But I also learned he was a great listener. He knew I was allergic to bees, because Ethan had mentioned it one time, so he would warn me when a nest was nearby and guide me past it, pretending to use karate moves when a bee would fly too close to me for comfort.

I think that was my favorite trait of his. Kyle’s ability to make me laugh over the silliest things felt like the sun peeking out from behind the clouds. I was always warm when he was around, my attention focused entirely on him and not on how much I missed Pete. Or drinking.

Closing his eyes again, Kyle’s laughter faded away but the smile stayed on his face. “I’m just trying to help you with your endurance.”

Behind my sunglasses, I rolled my eyes. “Nothing is wrong with my endurance. In fact, I’ve received many compliments on how long I can last.”

Kyle snorted, pulling his knee to his chest, I assumed to stretch his leg. “There is so much I could say to that.”

Catching on, I backhanded his chest. “Shut up. Perv.”

His ever ready laughter rang in my ears. “Perv am I? I thought I was being a gentleman.”

“They are not mutually exclusive.”

“Oh so you want a gentleman in the streets and a freak in the sheets?”

“Oh my God, Kyle, do you ever shut up?” I sat up, trying to hold back my smile. Just for something to do, I started retying my shoe laces.

I heard Kyle move beside me, but I refused to look. “Nah, I’m not quiet at any time. Especially in the bedroom. I’m not loud, but you know, I know how to audibly show my appreciation. I tend to talk.”

My mouth dropped open and my head whipped around to face him. “Jesus Kyle. TMI!”

He fell into a peel of laughter. “You look so scandalized. What, don’t you talk sex with your friends?”

Huffing, I stood, brushing the dirt from my bottom and back of my legs. Kyle stood also, doing the same. “Well, I mean, yeah, but not after only hanging out for a few days. Lord.”

Sliding up behind me, he started brushing the back of my shirt free of leaves and such. My heart seemed to stutter and I froze in place, staring straight ahead into the woods as he leaned in close to my ear. “Better get used to it, Syd. One day I’m hoping you’ll really get to hear me talk.”

The breath I didn’t know I was holding seemed to hitch in my chest and my eyes went wide. There was a moment of silence before I felt Kyle lightly push off from my back and begin laughing hard. My shock turned to feigned indignation and I turned, bending over to grab some leaves to toss at him. “You are such an asshole!”

His hazel eyes danced with mischief as he darted to avoid the twigs in my hand. “You love every minute of it, don’t lie!”

Pivoting on my foot I marched off towards the car. “I will never admit to that. Ever!”

I could still hear him laughing as he trailed behind me. A ghost of a smile graced my lips. He was more right than he needed to know.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we find out why Kyle wants to go grocery shopping with Sydney

In the car back to my apartment, Kyle had stolen the driver’s seat and had chosen a horrible country radio station to sing along to. With a bemused smirk on my face, I watched the trees and buildings fly by out the passenger side window. Kyle was easy to get along with, but I felt myself growing more and more tense as we neared my place. It took me a few moments to understand the feeling, but when I did, a sense of dread overwhelmed me. I didn’t want to be alone. The light that emanated from Kyle was keeping the darkness away, and I knew it couldn’t last forever.

As Kyle turned into my apartment complex and began weaving his way through the car lined streets towards my building, my phone chimed. Looking down, I felt my whole body clench upon seeing the name on the home screen.

“You ok?” Kyle asked, not taking his eyes off the road. He must have sensed the sudden mood change but had stayed relatively quiet until then.

I mumbled something to him, what, I couldn’t say. My gaze was hyperfocused on my phone, and my brain was spinning a million miles an hour. It was as if Pete was psychic over long distances and had chosen this moment to pop back into my life. It had been a good day, full of ease and laughter, and with one text, Pete Dunne had erased all of it.

**Pete: Hey are you home? I’m knocking but you aren’t answering**

“Syd?”

I looked up at Kyle and found us parked in my assigned parking spot. “Oh, we’re here,” I muttered, more to myself than to Kyle.

Giving me an odd look, he nodded. “We sure are. Arrived safe and sound.”

Offering him a weak smile, I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the car door. “I never had any doubt.”

Kyle got out and handed me the keys when I met him at the front of my car. My phone was buzzing in my hand, but I resisted looking. I wasn’t ready to face Pete after what he did. That note left a bitter taste in my mouth in regards to the Brusierweight.

For a few moments, standing in the Florida heat on the boiling asphalt, neither one of us said a word. Finally Kyle sighed. “Sydney, is something wrong? Did I do something?”

My head snapped towards him. “No!” Biting my lip, I squinted at him from behind my shades. Maybe if I lied, I’d throw him off and he wouldn’t know what was really bothering me. “I had fun today Kyle, and I want to do it again, if you are up to it. I’m actually thinking about training tomorrow, you know, running moves and things through my head.”

Kyle’s expression blanked out, and I knew he didn’t believe me. Hoping to contain the blush that I could feel spreading across my face, I gave him a bright smile. “Excited, huh?” he drawled. “Well I’m excited about going grocery shopping with you.”

That wiped the smile off my face. “I can’t believe you still want to do that.” More vibrating from my phone shook my hand, so I shoved it in my back pocket. “I mean, going to the grocery store isn’t exactly fun.”

He smirked at me, watching me put my phone in my pocket. “Maybe not for you. And that’s what I’m looking forward to. How do you handle something completely mundane with a stranger? Next week I’m going to stand behind you while you pay bills on your computer.”

Immediately I thought back to high school typing class where my teacher watched me and I suddenly couldn’t focus and messed up my assessment. It was as if I had forgotten how to use my hands. Glaring at him, I turned to leave. “Is there a reason you want to see me squirm?”

As I walked across the parking lot, Kyle yelled after me. “Yeah, it let’s me watch your sexy butt wiggle.”

My toe caught on the ground and I stumbled forward a little before I caught myself. As soon as I did, I turned to see Kyle begin laughing, then cross over a couple of parking spots to his Jeep. Climbing inside, he started it up, pulling out of the parking spot yelling, “See you tomorrow Syd!”

Completely flustered by Kyle and his comment, which had my face burning with the blush I had previously tried to hide, I sighed. Time to face the music. Pete was blowing up my phone and I couldn’t put it off any longer. As I entered my building, my brain spun with the reasons why Pete would show up out of nowhere. I had thought he was in Canada, and was leaving to go home from there.

But as I boarded the elevator and pushed my floor number, I found myself wishing that Kyle hadn’t left.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Stand

“….The least you could have done was answer my texts and calls, Syd. I was worried you were passed out in a pile of your own vomit or something in here.” Pete was breathing down my neck as I unlocked my door. As soon as I stepped off the elevator he began laying into me, his glare zeroed in on my faint sunburn and dirt on my yoga pants. “Where have you been anyway?”

His tone was so accusatory and suspicious. Dropping my keys and sunglasses on the bartop, I swung around to face him. “Pete, where I was and what I was doing is not your concern. You made that extremely clear when you disappeared in the middle of the night and left a fucking note!”

Closing the front door behind him, Pete continued to glare at me. “I left the note as a courtesy. Not my fault you took it out of context!”

 _Oh, so now we were in a full blow argument, were we?_ My brain jeered at me. “Never, in the last eighteen months, have you ever left a note. Ever. So excuse me for thinking that _goodbye_ meant something a little more final!”

He scoffed, coming to stand directly in front of me. No longer yelling, his voice seemed to get huskier, sending excited chills down my back. “Oh, you mean like all the other times we ended it? You mean “final” as in a couple of days later I’m eating you out like my life depends on it because I can’t get over your taste? Like that, Syd? Are we ever really going to be over? Can we? Because I don’t think I can ever be _over_ you. I don’t think I can ever say goodbye and mean it.”

My breaths were coming out in short gasps, my eyes locked with Pete’s as he hovered over me. His body was nearly pressed against mine, but not quite touching. I needed to move. I needed to create space between the two of us because his words said one thing while his previous actions said another. And I knew better. I _knew_ not to listen to him, but my brain felt as if it was short circuiting due to his nearness. I couldn’t concentrate.

“Pete,” I whimpered, closing my eyes against the feelings that were welling up in me. It was as if I was being tugged in two separate directions, underwater, towards Pete and the familiarity he provided, then towards safety, I could see the sun filtering through the water, reaching for me, promising me everything would be alright. I needed to get to the sun. “Why do you do this to me? Why do you always come back, when you said yourself that we aren’t good for each other?”

Upon opening my eyes, I was shocked to see the hardness on Pete’s face. “You need me.”

It felt like he had dumped a bucket of cold water over my head. The spell was broken and I saw him clearly for the first time. He was just as attached as I was, afraid to move forward, and afraid of change. And manipulative as hell.

“What I need,” I whispered. “Is for you to leave. And not return. Ever. Do not call or text me, I’ll be blocking your number. Do not randomly show up here. If I see you at work, we’re professional and friendly, but not _friends_. If you respect me at all, you’ll do those things for me.”

He was silent for a moment but I saw the resilience in his eyes before he spoke. “I don’t think you can make it without me, Sydney. And when you are ready to crawl back to me, I’ll be there. Because without me, you are lost in a bottle.”

Allowing him to kiss my forehead, I then looked up at him. “Wrong. _With you_ I’m lost in a bottle. Without you, I’m free.”

Pete didn’t respond, walking backwards towards my front door, our eyes locked. “How much money do you want to wager?”

Deep inside me, there was a hint of humor at his comment, but the resignation in my heart outweighed all of it. “Leave, Pete.”

I watched as he did, then quickly ran to the door to lock it. Pressing my forehead against the wood, I marveled at how right this felt. I could even admit to myself that I was proud that I stood up to him, that I didn’t let him suck me back into our old routine. I didn’t know what to attribute that to, but I wasn’t looking back. There were no tears, no theatrics. It really was over.

_Bet on **that** , Pete Dunne._


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Submission wrestling leads to a confession of sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the love this story has gained so far. I'm loving writing it! Please remember to bookmark Weakness so you are notified when I update! Comments are like oreo cookies and I LOVE oreo cookies! -S

There were a few situations in my life where I wondered how I had gotten into them. Laying flat on my stomach in the ring, with Kyle laying on top of me, was exactly one of those situations. The morning had started normal enough; breakfast with Ethan at a little café and then a warm up in the gym. No indication that today was going to be different. But this? This was unreal.

I could feel every single muscle in Kyle’s torso against my back and I knew my face was bright red. It wasn’t due to exertion because we had just started, it was due to the fact that I was _very_ aware of his body at that moment. He greeted me upon entering the ring and then promptly tossed me onto the mat, laughing like a maniac.

Hesitantly, I admitted to myself I liked his version of playful. It was exhilarating.

But that was beside the point. Kyle was laying on me, _not talking._ Just laying there. I had thought he would be teaching me, not pressing me against the mat, breathing on my neck in a way that had me very aware of how much _man_ he was.

And speaking of that, that particular piece of his anatomy was pressed snuggly between my legs, right up against my core. I was throbbing, and I worried if Kyle could feel it, which was ridiculous. He had shoved himself there, it wasn’t my fault if he felt something that made him uncomfortable.

But he didn’t seem uncomfortable. We laid there for what seemed like hours but could have only been about twenty minutes, and Kyle was content to just _be._ Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Uh, Kyle. Is this going to segue into a hold?” I was breathless, naturally, with a 200lb man laying on me. I wasn’t going to admit to myself, or anyone else, that the breathlessness had nothing to do with the pressure on my body.

“Nope,” he replied cheerfully.

“Then what are you doing?”

“Lesson number one, Syd,” he adjusted his arms so that they were on either side of my head. “Get comfortable touching people, because you can’t be shy in submission wrestling.”

Actually, that made sense. “Oh.”

“Also,” Kyle continued, “realize that sometimes, people are going to touch you in places that might feel awkward, but it’s usually unintentional.”

I bit my lip and decided to ask the question burning in my mind. “Is that why your dick is between my legs?”

He chuckled. “Partly. But it also feels nice too.” Now I _knew_ my face was on fire. Groaning, I pressed my forehead into the mat. Still laughing, Kyle rolled off me and gestured for me to stand up. “Ok come here and hug me.”

“Is this more touchy feely shit?” I asked, confused. Still, I moved towards him like magnet, trying hard not to melt into his embrace. Kyle smelled really good, like leather and spice, and truthfully I was willing to stand there all day.

“Like I said, you gotta get used to people touching you all over. Chest to chest, back to chest, legs, arms, neck. Everywhere. Submission wrestling is very familiar.”

I thought about that for a moment. “Can I use that against my opponent?” Tilting my head back to look up at him, I saw him smile down at me.

“You beat me to lesson four, but yeah you can. If your opponent isn’t skilled in submission or grappling, making them uncomfortable is a good way to keep them off their game.”

I liked that idea. Just like Kyle liked watching me squirm when he pestered me, I wanted to use that same mentality. “So, do you always start with intimate hugging when teaching newbies?” I teased.

“Oh sure,” he quipped, his smile bright on his face. “The men especially love it. Gives us a chance to get to know each other better.”

I giggled, turning my face into his shoulder. It was like a compulsion, I couldn’t stop myself from smelling him as weird as that was. He didn’t seem to mind, content to hold me, talking about how to stay one step of your opponent by watching their body movements and their timing.

Listening to him speak, I enjoyed the way it seemed like he was talking to a peer, and not speaking down to me. He allowed me to interrupt him and ask questions, happy to deviate from his original plan to explain what I wanted to know. Nothing I brought up, from the basics to psychology, was sneered at by him.

Pete wouldn’t have been able to sit through my questions…

Soon, Kyle let me go. I found myself mildly disappointed, and I missed the rumbling in my ear from being pressed against his chest. Shaking it off, I watched as he sat down on the mat and did the same, so that we were face to face.

“I want to show you a headlock. Its called the scissors headlock. It’s pretty effective for exhausting and grounding your opponent.”

Nodding, I watched as he swiveled around, leaned to one side, and then slowly, so that I could watch him, placed one leg behind me, and hooked his other in front of my neck, effectively causing me to lean back. I was trapped between his legs, my neck and chin snug against the back of his knee. He hooked his foot behind his ankle and leaned up on his elbow to wink at me. “What do you think?”

I paused, running his moves back through my head. My hands automatically had flown up to his leg, much like one would do if in an elbow headlock. It was then that I understood the move. “This makes sense,” I replied. We talked different variations and escapes, then he had me try a couple of different way to instigate the move with takedowns.

All in all, our first practice, once it started, went really well. I liked being around Kyle, apparently in any capacity; whether that was by teaching or as friends. As we wrapped up, Kyle answering some more of my endless questions, he moved to open the ropes for me.

I didn’t move. “You don’t have to do that,” I protested. The jovial, fun mood I had been enjoying was now tinged with suspicion. I couldn’t remember a person ever holding the ropes for me in all my years in training. I had always found the move to be something that someone does for a person who was weak, or incapable of making it through two feet of an open space. It was a move used for managers, people who didn’t wrestle, someone in high heels.

Looking over his shoulder at me, Kyle seemed confused. “I was just trying to be nice.” He let the ropes go. “Is there a problem?”

Biting my lip, I shrugged. “You are always nice to me. Why?” I could hear it now, the deep rooted issues creeping out, but I couldn’t help it. I was vaguely aware that Kyle liked me, but I kept thinking it would blow over, that he would wise up and let it go. I liked his attention, and I liked how I felt around him, but I just couldn’t understand how he could possibly like a train wreck like me.

Turning to face me, he took a step back and leaned against the turn buckle. “Why am I nice to you? Seriously, Syd? I’m a nice guy. Are people not usually nice to you? Because if not, that’s an issue that maybe should be explored.”

His tone had changed, and I could hear his irritation, even though his handsome face still held a charming smile.  Waving his words away, I crossed my arms. “Of course people are nice to me. Ethan is nice to me when he wants to be. Candice and Dakota are nice to me, they are my close friends. But generally, guys aren’t nice to me unless they want something from me.”

That handsome face I had just been admiring changed, and his annoyance at me covered it. Standing up straight, he then stepped through the ropes, only turning to face me once he was on the apron. “Sydney, I like you-”

“Oh my god, why?” I interrupted, but he only glared at me before continuing.

“- I’m not going to apologize for that. But I also know that you need a friend more than anything else right now, and that’s all I’m focused on. If I made you uncomfortable today with being handsy, I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I didn’t mean to cross the line, I thought you enjoyed it. Obviously you didn’t. That’s my fault, I should have checked with you first. But I’m not hanging out with you to get into your pants.”

“Oh,” I mumbled. Inwardly I admitted, in a small and quiet voice, that I was disappointed by that.

“And another thing, if me opening the ropes for you, a sign of respect by the way, sets you off, you are going to have to make me a list of seemingly inane things that I shouldn’t do because doing things like that to people I enjoy being around is in my blood, and I’m gonna need some help with that.”

Clearing my throat, I watched him jump down from the ring apron and begin to walk away. “Kyle, wait!” He stopped and I jumped out of the ring, running up to him. “Listen, I’m sorry. I freaked out. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you haven’t done anything that I didn’t want you to. I think,” I found myself stuttering on my words. I had to say what came next, but I was afraid of what would happen afterwards. “I think I like you too. And I just realized that. Well,” I hedged. “Actually, I’ve known that for a long time. I just don’t think I’m good enough for you.”

As I spoke, a myriad of expressions crossed Kyle’s face, from irritation to joy, back to annoyance. “Syd, do you think I’m smart? Do I have good taste?” Automatically I nodded. “Well then, if I like you, then obviously you are good enough for me, right?”

I was struck dumb. Kyle had effectively turned my lack of self esteem against me. “Guess so,” I muttered.

“Good!” he cheered, wrapping me up in a quick hug before letting me go. “I’m starving and you promised lasagna. Time to shop!”

My head spun. Making my way to the locker room, I tried to reconcile Kyle’s affection for me and my growing fondness for him. He was right, I needed a friend, but everything he said and did, I compared to Pete. Truthfully, next to Kyle, Pete was lacking, which only made me question my sheer stubbornness of holding onto Pete as long as I had and my subsequent spiral downward.

I needed time. Time to heal, time to grow, and time to get over an addiction that nearly cost me my career. I just couldn’t toss a relationship on top of that pile right now, something that Kyle apparently understood more than I did at that moment. But deep inside of me, that impulsive little monster that hid there, was telling me to throw caution to the wind and just head first into the pool of sunshine that Kyle offered me.

And it would take every bit of my strength not to listen to that gremlin.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sydney keeps her end of the agreement. Dinner for training. And together, they take another step forward....

Standing in front of the pasta, I was very aware that Kyle was behind me, humming to himself as he watched me. He was manning the cart, pushing it back and forth while he waited on me to make my selection. I don’t know why I stood there so long, grabbing the lasagna should not have been a hard choice, but I kept finding myself listening for Kyle’s movements and not paying attention to what I was doing.

The car ride to the grocery store was quiet between us. Kyle sang along to the radio and I typed out a list of needed items on my phone. I didn’t really need the list, it was just something to keep me focused.

Which is what I was _not._ And Kyle knew it.

“Struggling?”

Turning my head, I sneered at him over my shoulder. “I’m doing fine, thank you.”

He only nodded, a smug smile on his face and his green eyes danced in mischief. “You look great staring off into space, you know?”

Ignoring him, I grabbed a pack of pasta and put it in the cart before snatching jars of pasta sauce and doing the same. “Just for that comment, you get the generic version of lasagna.”

Placing a hand on his chest, he feigned hurt. “Ouch. What did I do? I’m nice, remember?”

Continuing down the aisle, I gave him the middle finger behind my back. “You better behave or I’ll get the frozen one out of the freezer section.”

“The horror!” I heard him cry as I turned the corner, heading down the next aisle. Trying to hide my smile, I kept a steady pace ahead of him and the cart before I stopped in front of the coffee. As I did, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kyle glide by, the cart rolling quickly and him perched on the bottom rung like he was on a scooter, and his left leg stuck up in the air. “Look, Mom! I’m an ice skater!”

Laughter exploded out of me as I watched him roll all the way down the aisle before stopping to wait for me. I found my favorite coffee and met him next to the cart. “Beautiful form,” I complimented.

Grinning, he smiled. “Thanks, I’ve been practicing.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The table was set and dinner was served. Kyle was eating like it was his last meal while I stared at him as if he had two heads. Honestly, it wasn’t my best meal, but I had felt all out of sorts since our argument that afternoon and my head wasn’t in it. Once again, Kyle had spearheaded the conversations, letting me focus on cooking while he chattered mostly to himself while poking around my apartment.

Looking up at me while shoving a forkful of food in his mouth, he asked, “So, I noticed you don’t have any pictures of family in here. Why is that?”

I sighed, pushing a piece of ricotta around on my plate. The walls were actually a little bare after I took down a bunch of group photos with Pete in them. “I didn’t have a family. I’m a foster kid.”

He stopped mid-chew, staring at me. “I’m so sorry,” he said. Thinking for a moment, he continued. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but that makes a lot of sense.”

Shrugging one shoulder, I only nodded. “I know. I’m pretty stereotypical in that way.” It wasn’t anything new to me. I had trouble with trust and I clung to things or people that comforted me. “But it also doesn’t define me. I was luckier than most. I stayed with a family who truly cared about me, they tried their best to keep me on the straight and narrow. But they couldn’t adopt me, they couldn’t afford it. With me staying a foster kid, they got checks to fund raising me. Good people. They were hard working. But I knew they weren’t mine.”

Smiling at me, he put his fork down. “What got you into wrestling?”

I gave him a small grin. I knew he wouldn’t be expecting my answer. “I’ve watched wrestling since I was very little, but I was working in a bar when I got older and we had a wrestling promotion come through every couple of months. During a match, a wrestler got shoved into me as I was serving a table and I got pissed, broke my tray over his head and then put him in a headlock until he passed out.”

Kyle face was frozen in surprise. “All of that sounds like a pack of lies, but I believe it.”

I laughed. “It’s true. The guy I strangled was Sami Zayn. You can ask him.”

I was sure that Kyle was going to cough up the sip of wine his had just taken. “Sami? You broke a tray over Sami’s head?”

Nodding, I answered, sipping my own glass of wine. “True story. He got me in contact with some of his buddies that are local and I never looked back.”

“That’s insane,” Kyle mused. “How long ago was that?”

“Five years. I’ve been with NXT for two years now.”

Standing, Kyle collected my plate from the table, carrying both his and mine to the sink in the kitchen. “You’ve come a long way in a short amount of time.”

Following him, I protested as he started to wash the dishes. “Kyle, stop. You are my guest. This is payment for the training, remember?”

Turning his upper body away so that I couldn’t grab the dish in his hands, he ignored me. “I’m being _nice._ ”

I scoffed, leaning against the counter, my arms crossed over my chest. “You and being nice. Maybe you should try to be an asshole every once in a while.”

Grinning as he placed a plate in the drainer, he commented, “Would you like me better if I was an asshole, Syd?”

Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t help but look down at my feet. “I don’t know about liking you better but I’d at least know how to act around you. The niceness makes me a bit uncomfortable.”

Suddenly, Kyle was in front of me and I looked up, finding him straddling my legs, his hands still wet, dripping on the floor and the water running in the sink. “I will never be an asshole to you because you deserve more than that.”

My breath hitched in my chest as he leaned forward, placing his hands on the counter, trapping me in place. “Kyle…”

“I’m going to kiss you, Syd. And if that’s not something you want, tell me now.” He was leaning in, very slowly, giving me time to move or protest.

I was bewildered by the fact that I did want him to kiss me, that I wanted to feel his lips against mine, his body pressing me into the counter. But we were friends, weren’t we? Would that change? I didn’t want it to change, but God, I wanted Kyle O’Reilly in a way that was unfamiliar to me. It was vibrant and exciting, not tinged in desperation and disappointment.

“Sydney?” he asked again. I had taken too long with my answer, even thought I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say.

This would change everything. The comfort I felt in Kyle’s presence was at risk, and if this went wrong, it was possible I would slip back into a very dangerous place. But that gremlin, my inner impulsiveness, was whispering in my ear.

“Kiss me, Kyle.” My voice was barely a whisper, but I hoped he heard because I wasn’t sure I could repeat myself. My mouth was suddenly dry.

I imagined he would hesitate, check in again, make sure it was really what I wanted. But he didn’t. Taking the final step that would press our bodies together, he dipped his head down and Kyle’s lips found mine. Immediately, my whole body seemed to relax and I felt myself lean into him, my hands coming up to grip his shirt, enfolding him around me. My eyes closed, reveling in the ease of the kiss, as if we had done this before, and it was familiar.

Kyle never pressed me, keeping the kiss light and sweet, occasionally licking my lower lip and nibbling on it. It left me wanting more, to know what it felt like to have him growl in my ear while he shoved his hand down my panties, hopefully against a wall after he’d teased me all day.

Gasping at the thought, I reached up and pressed my hands to Kyle’s chest, pushing him back slightly.

Peering down at me, Kyle’s expression was worried. “Did I push too far? I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” I assured him. Giggling a little, I bit my lip. “My mind started to wander off and I just got a little light headed.”

A wry grin spread across his face. “Well, I don’t know if I should be insulted that my kiss wasn’t enough to keep your attention, or intrigued at what could have made you make that sexy little noise.”

My face flushed and I looked down at my feet. “The water is still running,” I mumbled.

Chuckling, he pushed away from me and turned back to the sink. Taking a deep breath, I turned and left the kitchen, making an excuse about needing to wipe the table off.

A simple kiss. It wasn’t even one with tongue! But a simple kiss had knocked me off my axis. _More._ The word kept bouncing around my head. How was I supposed to be Kyle’s friend after that simple, pleasant, _comforting_ kiss?

My world wasn’t rocked. There were no fireworks. Instead it was as if Kyle had wrapped me in a down comforter and held me tightly. _Secure._ That was the word for what I felt. And safe. Kyle respected me and respected my boundaries. He listened. What a novelty. And one that I didn’t know how to process.

Sitting on the couch and grabbing the remote, I smiled at Kyle as he sat down next to me, draping his arm over the back of the couch. It was almost instinctual for me to curl up next to him, allowing him to pull me close. Choosing a show to watch was amusing, and we bickered good naturedly.

Things were changing with Kyle and I, but it was too soon to tell what it was. All I really knew was Kyle O’Reilly was no Pete Dunne, and for the first time, I was extremely happy with that fact.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you need a friend to take the reins for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like air, I need them to SURVIVE!  
> Thanks for the love and I hope you enjoy!  
> *BOOKMARK FOR UPDATES*

A pattern emerged. Sundays were spent with Ethan, goofing off in the pool or watching TV. Monday and Tuesdays I worked with Aleister and Dakota on kicks and strikes, on Wednesday Kyle and I would meet for lunch and discuss submission psychology, Thursday was submission training and dinner with Kyle, then Friday and Saturday were spent at NXT Live Events.

For three months it went on like this, and the routine seemed to settle me. I knew what to expect, and what was expected out of me. I even got a gruff nod from Coach Bloom, which I took to mean that I was improving and he noticed. It only made me want to work harder.

Since that first dinner, Kyle had been nothing but cordial. Of course, he was still flirty, that would never change, but he didn’t make another pass at me. Which made me restless, because I wanted it. I craved it. I began fantasizing about catching Kyle backstage at a live event and taking his dick in my mouth, sucking him off as the crowd roared in the distance. Or stealing into an office at the PC and riding him as he sat in a desk chair. My thoughts were wild and concentrating on my training when Kyle was around was almost impossible.

The only other person who knew of my predicament was Candice. And she teased me mercilessly. It felt good to have someone to chat boys with, and she was a great sounding board while I tried to keep myself from accosting Kyle at every turn. While we had always been friends, it seemed we were getting closer as we shared stories about liking people who were too good for us.

“Johnny is absolutely a better person than I am,” Candice bemoaned as we walked around City Walk. It was a hot, sunny Florida Tuesday and we were headed to Bubba Gump’s for lunch.

I scoffed at her, dodging a little kid with a Hufflepuff balloon. “I don’t see how that is even possible. Honestly, I’ve never met anyone as pure as you in my whole life! The two of you are like cotton candy!”

She laughed and tugged on my arm to pull me out of the way of a woman on a scooter. “Airless and bad for you?”

“Please. More like sugary sweet and goals for life.”

Candice rolled her eyes. “I get the sugar reference but not the goals. We have problems just like everyone else. But my point it,” she remarked, leading the way inside the restaurant, “is that I understand how you feel about Kyle.”

At first, I didn’t comment, following her and the hostess to a booth in the back of the restaurant. It was extremely busy, and I was surprised that we had managed to get a table so fast. One we were seated with menus, I bit my lip. “Even I don’t get how I feel about him.”

Peering at me, a shrewd look on her face I’d see many times when she was lecturing Johnny on TV, she waved her hand at me. “Stop me if I’m wrong: He’s a good guy, never hurt you, made you feel less than him, or talked down to you. You’ve seen him with kids at signings, you’ve watched him interact with our co-workers, and you’ve never seen him be malicious out of character. When you are with him, you feel all your cares go away, you are focused on him, he treats you well, and he’s shown he’s interested, but never pushes you. Am I right?”

I could only nod dumbly, feeling as if my jaw was on the table. She laughed.

“I felt that way about Johnny. Look, he was always nice to me, but it was how he was with other people that made me fall for him. Personally, I learned a lot about how I wanted to be from him, in terms of crowd control.” She looked down at the menu and I tried to process what she had said.

The waitress approached and rattled off the specials. Both of us opted not to drink, so we got water and an appetizer. As the waitress left, I leaned forward on the table towards Candice.

“Honestly, I’m too selfish for that. Sure, how he treats people is important, but I’ve been focused on how I feel around him the most. After Pete,” his name got stuck in my throat, “and feeling like garbage for so long, being near Kyle makes me feel like I’m walking on clouds, but I’m waiting for the bottom to drop out. No one is that perfect all the time.”

Candice only shrugged, not looking up at me. “He’s not perfect, he sometimes has a temper, but from what I’ve seen, it’s always been in defense of someone.”

I couldn’t imagine Kyle mad. He was goofy and silly, always with a smile on his face and cracking jokes. And that stupid eyebrow he would cock up never failed to make me laugh.

Putting my menu down I leaned back in the seat. “I don’t even know why we are having this conversation.”

Candice chuckled at my huffiness. “Because if you tried to talk to Ethan he’d never let you hear the end of it.”

I didn’t respond, and our waitress appear, placing the drinks and appetizer on the table before taking our orders and disappearing again. Candice changed the subject, talking about something that had happened on the last Live Event loop in Oklahoma. I followed along, engaged in the conversation, even when our food arrived and we began eating. Truly though, I was thinking about Kyle.

It was happening more and more. Spending two days a week with him wasn’t enough. I found myself wondering what he was doing, if I should text him to say “hi” or if I could suggest we hang out. Would it be too weird? Too forward? Why hadn’t he made another move? What if he had lost interest in me after that kiss in my apartment? Had I missed my chance? It was a bit too late to realize I _wanted_ Kyle to make a move if that was the case.

“Sydney?”

Looking up at Candice, I realized I had zoned out and both our plates were clean. “Yeah?”

Her eyes crinkled as she smiled at me. “Take the risk. Text him.”

I didn’t even bother asking how she knew what I was worrying over. Before I lost my nerve, I pulled my phone out and typed out a text to Kyle.

**_Me: Hey, what’s up?_ **

Lame, but what else was I going to come up with? Nervously I placed my phone on the table, staring at it like that was going to make Kyle respond faster. Candice’s expression was one of wry amusement as she chatted with the waitress who had come to deliver our check and take the dishes away. I was only vaguely aware of what was going on around me, my eyes glued to the darkened screen of my phone.

Suddenly, it lit up, and I almost dropped it as I fumbled to pick it up. Candice was outright laughing at me and I glared at her playfully.

**_Kyle: Just hanging around the house. What are you up to?_ **

Panic set in and I looked up at Candice who was sliding out of the booth, indicating I should follow. “What’s wrong, Syd?”

Standing, we moved through the crowd towards the entrance of the restaurant. We narrowly avoided the gift shop, darting around the “exit here” sign and going out past the hostess stand, getting a glare from said hostess.

“He replied,” I whined at Candice’s back. “What do I do now?”

I heard her laugh over the din of people, and then suddenly, we were out in the fresh air. I took a deep breath, gripping my phone hard in my hand. “What do you want to do, Syd?”

“Currently, I want to go home and hide under my blankets until people forget I exist.”

Facing me, Candice snatched my phone from me and began typing.

“Hey! Candice, what are you doing?” I exclaimed, trying to grab the offending gadget away from her. Smoothly, she just turned, keeping her back to me as I jumped around her. “Oh come on, please,” I begged. “Don’t do what I think you are going to do!”

Her fingers flew against the screen, her face crunched in concentration. “You’ll thank me later. Trust me.”

Scoffing, I stopped my bouncing and tried to read the text over her shoulder, but she continued to move, now walking towards the parking lot. “Are we leaving?”

Candice bobbed her blonde head. “Yeah, you have plans tonight.”

I was rendered speechless as she handed me back my phone. Scrolling through the texts it took everything I had not to stop and put my head between my legs.

**_Me (Candice): I’m heading home from CityWalk. It was super busy so I’m thinking of crawling under blankets and having a movie night. Wanna join?_ **

**_Kyle: Sounds great. Need me to bring anything?_ **

**_Me (Candice): Popcorn and whatever you want to drink_ **

**_Kyle: What time?_ **

**_Me (Candice): Is 8 good?_ **

**_Kyle: Perfect. See you in a bit_ **

While I was reading, Candice had hooked her arm in mine, leading me through the crowd so I wouldn’t bump into anyone. Navigating the moving sidewalks and escalators, she guided me seamlessly as I felt my soul project itself outside of my body.

“What did you do,” I whined.

Candice rolled her eyes, digging her keys out of her pocket as we approached her car. “Don’t be a big baby. It’s nothing different from your dinner nights.”

Knowing I was pouting, I got into the passenger side, buckling the seat belt and pulling it tight. Driving with Candice was a harrowing experience, but she was skilled at driving in the Orlando congestion, while I usually wanted to get out of my car and beat someone with my gym bag. Clearly, she was the better choice for the amusement park traffic.

Candice wasn’t wrong, but she wasn’t right either. There was a big difference between sitting at a dining room table with someone and sitting on a couch with them. Space, that was the difference. The last time Kyle and I sat on a couch together three months prior I had held my breath for what felt like hours before he finally declared he had to leave. Being curled up next to him had felt so _right_ , a feeling that absolutely terrified me.

Sighing, Candice spoke again, her eyes on the cars in front of her. “If you are that upset, I’ll tell him I stole your phone and we’ll cancel everything.”

“It’s not that,” I mumbled. The sun was going down behind Hogwarts over the treeline, and I pulled at a string on my shirt. “I’m nervous.”

“That’s obvious.”

Ignoring her, I fell silent, my brain mentally flipping through the movies that I owned, trying to find something Kyle might like. I had a few ideas, but I’d have to wait until he was at my place to get his opinions.

My phone chimed. It was Kyle.

**_Kyle: Getting restless so I’m heading to the gym. Ok if I shower at your place?_ **

“What did he say?” Candice asked. I have no idea how she knew it was him, but I read the text off to her anyway. “Hmm,” she mused, turning left onto International Drive. “Let’s break that text down. He’s restless, that could mean he’s excited to see you. That’s a good thing. Going to the gym means he’s nervous too. Needs to work off that nervous energy. And he wants to shower at your place instead of at the gym? That’s a bit trickier, but either he hates showering with other men, which we know isn’t the case, he does it all the time, or he is hoping you’ll join him when he gets to your apartment.”

She had me until that last sentence. I squeaked in alarm. “What? Candice I can’t! It’s too soon! I mean, I- I- what am I supposed to say?” My voice raised higher and higher, until it finally broke.

Candice laughed. “Stop your panicking. It’s highly doubtful Kyle is skipping ahead to the shower together phase.”

Taking a deep breath, I realized Candice was right. I was overthinking this. It was just a first step, which Candice instigated, but I could handle it. I was in control. And to prove it, I added a little flirtatious tone in my reply.

**_Me: Sure, but it’s going to take a lot more than you showing up at my doorstep all hot and sweaty for me to get into the shower with you_ **

Kyle’s response was almost instantaneous.

**_Kyle: Well that’s disappointing. Makes me wonder what I’d have to do to get you there though_ **

**_Me: Dream on, Big Boy_ **

**_Kyle: There is a dick joke in there somewhere, isn’t there?_ **

I snorted, catching Candice’s attention, but I typed out another reply, fighting the urge to break out into a big grin.

**_Me: You forget, with your cuddling submission moves, I’m pretty familiar with that part of your anatomy_ **

**_Kyle: Want to be more familiar?_ **

**_Me: Bring the popcorn and we’ll talk_ **

**_Kyle: Is this like that porn where the pizza guy shows up with a sausage pizza?_ **

At that point I lost it, leaning against my seatbelt with peals of laughter coming from my stomach. I read the conversation off to Candice and she joined in with quite a few eye rolls.

“You two are idiots. And personally, I think you are perfect for each other.”

For the first time, that idea didn’t make me panic. I just smiled like a fool at my phone, telling Kyle to hurry up and bring his sweaty ass to my place, which only caused more immature jokes and laughter. Candice called Johnny to let him know she was dropping me off and would be home soon. It seemed they also had movie night planned, and I smothered a grin when Candice seemed to swoon at the mention of watching Aladdin.

She dropped me off a while later, late afternoon traffic on International Drive was a nightmare. I waved her off with a promise to give her a complete rundown of how the night went the next day. As I unlocked my front door, I checked my phone. I had just about two hours before Kyle was due to show up. Enough time to shower and change into something more comfortable, but not too comfortable, and act like I wasn’t excited to see him.

I could pull this off, right?


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little introspection while waiting for Kyle to arrive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is being so nice with comments and kudos! Thanks so much! They taste like Mr. Goodbars!  
> Don't forget to BOOKMARK!

Time was moving slow on purpose, I just knew it. My stomach was a ball of nervous energy, part excitement and part anxiety. It was just Kyle, nothing had changed, except me. I had changed.

I moved around my apartment, tidying up and wiping down things that were already clean. I had gotten better at keeping my place picked up since I stopped binge drinking. My stereo was turned to some Alternative Rock hits from the 2000s and I hummed along as I tried to distract myself from waiting on Kyle to arrive.

I was a creature of habit, that wasn’t news to me. Routine and plans kept me sane and level headed. It was when I deviated from that path that I spiraled. It had happened many times in my life, from childhood and being moved from foster home to foster home, to my teenaged years when I ran away and was sleeping on friend’s couches, to dating Pete Dunne and feeling like I was an afterthought and unwanted.

Those situations were only the tip of the iceberg, but profound in a way. Somehow I always found myself doing exactly what I knew wasn’t good for me, either to test the waters or due to lack of impulse control. There were days I _wanted_ to be bad, dangerous, live on the wild side, but those days would turn into weeks, months, of horrible choices and hurting people I loved. Constantly I felt like I was apologizing, making reparations, working ten times harder to fix something I broke. And no matter how many times I told myself I’d never do it again, it happened, leaving me angry and brokenhearted. It was a feeling I knew too well.

I wasn’t sure why this time felt different. The romantic side of me wanted to say it was Kyle’s influence, that the crush I had on him lifted me out of the fog I always seemed to dwell in. But the realistic part of me knew that it was up to me to stand on my own two feet, and rely on myself. Ethan always told me that making mistakes wasn’t the end of the world, that while sad, hurting people didn’t necessarily make me a bad person, because I was always willing to put the work in to fix it. I never truly believed him, my self-loathing creating a perfect storm of a pity party. But I had to hand it to Kyle, his optimism and fun-loving nature made me want to consistently be a good person, and to think before I acted. Hurting Kyle seemed so abhorrent to me that the thought made me stop mid dance step in the middle of my living room, almost tripping myself.

Over the music, I heard laughing, and I swung around, finding Kyle standing in the doorway, clad in red basketball shorts and a black shirt with the sides and sleeves cut off, leaving his delicious torso bare to see. He was still sweaty from the gym, but not excessively so, his face flushed and green eyes bright with laughter.

Deciding to recognize my crush on the man was going to be the death of me, I was sure of it. While he had always been attractive to me, my realization seemed to lift the blinders off my eyes, and his attractiveness turned into sexiness.

“I knocked but you didn’t answer. You got some great dance moves.”

I rolled my eyes, turning to face him completely. “Yeah sure. I’m gonna try out for one of those dance competitions on tv.”

Chuckling, he closed the door behind him, dropping his gym bag in the foyer as he crossed over to stand in front of me. “Don’t you think that would cut into your training time?”

Nodding dumbly, because he smelled like leather and sweat and it was making my neurons misfire, I responded, “Of course, but I have to follow my dreams.”

Still grinning, he smoothly reached forward and hooked his arm around my waist, hauling me against his body. I lost my breath when our chests collided, but it wasn’t due to the impact. The way he was looking down at me, it was like he had found the Holy Grail, Atlantis, and the Library of Alexandria. The expression made me dizzy, and I tried to squash the urge to panic. My brain was screaming _it’s too fast! Too soon!_ While my heart, and frankly the rest of my body, was hugging that little impulse gremlin.

“Yeah,” he breathed, searching my face, “following your dreams is absolutely important.” Swiftly, he kissed my cheek and let me go, taking a step back. “Shower?”

Dazed, I pointed to my bedroom, following his backside with my eyes as he disappeared through the door with his gym bag. Those basketball shorts were a Godsend. As soon as I heard the water turn on, the breath I was holding escaped my lungs. Shaking my head, I moved to pick up the cleaning supplies and turn off the stereo. Kyle befuddled me on a constant basis, and I found myself liking the feeling. It was exciting, with no real hint of danger.

It wasn’t until I put the cleaning supplies in the closet and saw one of Pete’s old gym towels that I remembered I still had Pete’s shampoo and soap in my shower. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest. I couldn’t imagine Kyle smelling like Pete. I didn’t want that. Any similarities between the two ended at their profession, and I needed that.

There was nothing I could do. The only option was to sit on the couch and wait, bracing myself for the memories to come flooding back when Kyle returned. What had promised to be a great night had suddenly turned into one to be dreaded.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie Night Commences!

I had totally overreacted. Typical.

Kyle entered the living room, blue basketball shorts on and no shirt, a towel hanging on his shoulders. My mouth dropped, and I had to remember how to shut it. It wasn’t as if I had never seen him shirtless before. It was just, he had never been shirtless, in my house, where I was the only one to see it. It felt special for some odd reason I didn’t care to explore.

“So I forgot to pack an extra shirt,” he approached me, a box in his hand. “But I did remember the popcorn at least.”

Smirking at him, I stood, taking the box from him and heading to the kitchen. “Well, priorities, ya know?”

He nodded as if my words were profound. “Absolutely.” Running the towel over his wet hair, he continued to speak. “I hope you don’t mind, I used the coconut shampoo in your shower. I’m not a fan of those man soaps. It always smells like they shoved an entire Christmas tree into a bottle.”

My hands froze in the act of tearing the cellophane off the bag of popcorn. “You used my shampoo?”

Peering at me through the towel, his expression was wary. “Is that a problem?”

“No! Of course not, that’s completely fine. I meant to throw that other stuff away but I kept forgetting.”

I don’t know what I said, but suddenly Kyle’s eyes were full of understanding. “What movie did you pick for tonight?” he asked, changing the subject.

“There are a couple to choose from on the coffee table.” I watched him pull the towel off his head and sit on the couch to go through the movies I had pulled out. Finding a bowl, I placed the popcorn bag in the microwave and started it. “I wasn’t sure what kind of movies you liked.”

All I could see was the back of his head and his torso, which, honestly, I wasn’t complaining about. Waving a movie over his head, he continued to look through the stack. “This one is good. Got any movies that will make you cling to me? That’s really what I want. Scary movies, or even thrillers.”

I bit my lip to hide my grin, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “There might be a few in the cabinet, but they aren’t my favorite so I don’t have many.” The microwave beeped and I pulled the bag out, dumping the contents in the bowl. “What do you want to drink?”

He stood and went to my DVD cabinet next to the TV. “Water is fine.”

Grabbing a couple of bottles from the fridge and the popcorn from the counter, I made my way to the couch, placing the items on the coffee table. “Find anything?”

“How do you feel about Ghost Ship?” he asked, turning his torso to show me the movie case.

I tried for a nonchalant shrug. “It’s fine.”

Kyle saw right through me. “It terrifies you, doesn’t it? Awesome.” Rolling my eyes, I grunted when he plopped on the couch next to me, handing the case to me. “We can start with The Sixth Sense, but by the end of the night I want you so scared you’ll crawl in my lap.”

“Neither one of those movies will make that happen. Ghost Ship is creepy, but not terrifying.” Using the remotes to turn the TV and DVD player on, I stood and put the movie in the slider. Pushing the “eject” button I remembered my intention of crawling under a blanket earlier that afternoon. I found a small blanket in my room on a chair. It was thin and small, a little bigger than a throw, but not enough to sleep with, so I never knew what to do with it.

Back in the living room, Kyle was navigating the home screen with the remote, so I sat on the opposite side of the couch, pulling the blanket over my legs.

Pressing play, he gave me a dubious look. “Hey, I’m shirtless. Don’t hog the blanket.”

Huffing with fake exasperation, I moved closer to him to the middle of the couch, watching as he covered us both. I thought he was moving his arm to put around my shoulders, but he rested it on the back of the couch, giving me a smirk.

Deciding two could play at that game, I leaned against him, the popcorn bowl in my lap, snuggling close to his naked torso, my legs bent up on the couch. I kept my head up, even though I really wanted to lay against his chest. The movie started, and we both seemed to relax. The first part of the movie neither of us moved except to pick popcorn out of the bowl or take a drink. I tried to pay attention, but the warmth of Kyle’s skin seeped through my shirt, making it hard for me to focus on anything except the closeness of his body.

About the time the little boy found the ghost girl who had been poisoned, Kyle began softly playing with my hair. At first it was light, moving a couple of strands off my neck, and then he took a lock between his two fingers and began to rub slightly.

Any concentration I had was thrown out the window. The move from Kyle shouldn’t have caught my attention, it felt innocent, but my whole body was rigid in anticipation. Was this the first move? What would he do next?

My answer came a short time later when he began to drag his fingers through my hair. Starting at my temple and going across the side of my head, then down to the nape of my neck rhythmically. The drag of his nails across my scalp, mere pressure is all, relaxed me so that I felt my tense muscles begin to loosen up. My head lolled a little and then ended up on his shoulder as he continued his ministrations.

“Feel good?” he whispered against the crown of my head after a while.

I nodded, my eyelids fluttering in an attempt not to close. “Making me sleepy though.”

Kyle chuckled, kissing my head and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I was mildly disappointed he had stopped messing with my hair. It truly had felt wonderful, soothing me in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. Seeing we were both done with the popcorn, I moved it to the couch cushion beside me, not willing to have Kyle let me go so I could place it on the coffee table. My hands returned to my lap, and I eyeballed Kyle’s free hand. It was on his thigh, close to my hands, and I bit my lip in nervous concentration. Kyle had made his move. Now I was going to make mine.

Slowly walking my fingers close to his, I hooked my forefinger in his, tugging on his hand until he caught on to what I was doing. That soft laugh puffed against my hair making me smile, although he couldn’t see it. Our forefingers intertwined, I sighed, content and happy sitting there as we were.

The rest of the movie was spent like that, the two of us cuddled on the couch holding hands. We didn’t speak, but neither of us payed a lot of attention to what was happening on the screen. Our fingers rubbed each other, I nuzzled his shoulder, he kissed my head. I felt soft inside, my walls crumbling as I spent time in Kyle’s embrace.

All too soon, the movie ended and Kyle let my hand go, stretching his body with an exaggerated yawn. “Bathroom break and then next movie?” he asked me.

I nodded. “Ghost Ship or something else first?” I moved to let him get up off the couch, and he slid forward, stopping at the edge of the cushion.

“I may sound greedy, but let’s watch something else first. I’m in no hurry to have this night end.”

I blushed, quickly looking down as he got up and walked off. Kyle O’Reilly was something out of a chick flick, almost too good to be true. He had to have a flaw, I couldn’t take this perfection much longer. I felt out of my depth, trying my damnedest to be worthy of him.

I replaced The Sixth Sense with The Mummy, handing Kyle the remote when he came back in the room, and then took my turn in the bathroom. When I came back Kyle was on the phone.

“….a little busy,” he was saying. “Well no, I mean, I can come back, it’s just that I was in the middle of something.”

I quirked my eyebrow at him and he gave me an apologetic look.

“Why me though?” He was quiet for a few moments, letting the person on the other line answer. “Oh right. I forgot they were out of town.” He snorted at a comment that was made. “Well, I’m a little distracted here man.”

My blush from earlier returned and I pointedly looked anywhere but at Kyle. Suddenly, the back of the movie case was extremely interesting.

“Fine, but you owe me, big time. In fact, you all owe me.” He hung up without saying good bye.

“Problem?” I asked. I had the sinking feeling I knew what was coming. He was leaving.

Crossing the living room to stand in front of me, he began explaining. “I’m so sorry. Deonna is at a bar drunk and lost her phone. She called for an Uber over an hour ago but they won’t take her anywhere because she has all of her credit card info on her phone, and since she lost it,” he shrugged as if telling me _what can they do_. I understood what he meant, but my hackles were up. Deonna Purrazzo was a pain in my ass. “Anyway, Deonna called Marty on the bar phone, who is in California on a loop, then he called Johnny. Johnny and a bunch of NXT guy are in the NorthEast doing shows.”

Nodding. I finished his thought. “So Johnny called you. Right. Of course.”

Bending his knees a bit so he was eye level, he peered at me. “I’ll be right back. Thirty minutes, tops.”

I shrugged. “If it’s too much, you don’t have to come back.”

Kyle’s expression clouded over. “I’m absolutely coming back. In fact, I’ll be back before they get into Hamunaptra.” He pointed over my shoulder at the home screen of The Mummy. “Shall we take bets?”

Rolling my eyes, I gripped his shoulders, turning him towards the door. His bare skin searing into my hands, but I persisted, lightly shoving at his back. “You need a shirt. If you show up at a bar like that they are going to eat you alive.”

Chuckling, he pulled his shoes onto his feet. Reaching into his bag, he pulled a clean shirt out and tugged it on, his eyes sparking in amusement.

My mouth dropped. “You _liar!”_

Kyle only laughed. “You loved every minute of it!”

Pushing against his chest, I bodily sent him through my front door as he opened it. “Dream on, Big Boy.” Closing it behind him, I could hear him laughing as he walked away. Trying not to smile, because _Deonna Purrazzo,_ I made my way back to the couch, turning the movie on.

All I could do was sit and wait, hoping Kyle would come back, and that witch would keep her nose out of my business.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feral cats, TLC, and cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are giving me LYFE! I love talking to everyone about this story, and converting some of you into Kyle lovers. Welcome to the Club!
> 
> Please remember to BOOKMARK and send Kudos. Kudos are tasty, like chocolate!

I tried not to look at the clock, forcing myself to keep my eyes on the TV screen, but every so often, they would drift over to the left, and the minute hand would mock me. I never hated a clock so much in my life.

The movie was a favorite of mine, but I just wasn’t into it. To keep myself busy, I scrolled through my phone, checking on my friends from high school on Instagram and finding healthy recipes that hopefully didn’t taste like sandpaper on Pinterest. A lot of coworkers were out of town at shows so I checked reactions on Twitter, happy to see that the fans seemed to be enjoying their hard work.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed exactly, but the sound of the door opening and closing had me sitting upright in a hurry from my slumped position on the couch.

Kyle was there, looking more haggard than when he left. “Hey, sorry about just walking in. I didn’t even think about it.”

“No, that’s fine, I left it unlocked for that reason. Everything go ok?” I asked. His expression was exhausted, and there were red scratches on his arms. “Oh my god Kyle did you get into a fight with a cat?” I jumped to my feet, running over to him to check the abrasions.

He was trying to toe his shoes off at the same time, one arm braced against the wall, but he didn’t stop me. There was also a single mark near his right eye that made me frown. My fingers reached up to touch it gently, and his hands wrapped around both my wrists, not to stop me, but seemingly to just touch me.

Sighing, he pressed his forehead against mine. “A cat. Yeah, something like that. Deonna is a little persistent when she’s drunk.”

Pulling away, I glared at him. The expression wasn’t for him though. “What do you mean by persistent?”

Sweetly, he kissed my fingers and then lead me by my hand back to the couch. Immediately upon sitting he wrapped me up in a hug, enfolding me against his body.

“Kyle please tell me,” I whispered. My thoughts were running wild, and I couldn’t take the suspense much longer.

“Please reserve all comments until I’m done with the story, ok?” he asked, looking down at me. After my stiff nod, he continued. “I got to the bar and found her pretty easily. She was singing karaoke very loudly. I let her finish her song, got her off the stage, and made sure her tab was paid for, along with a note for the bartender in case her phone was found.”

He stopped for a moment, rubbing a hand over his face. Those long red marks caught my eye, from elbow to wrist, and I felt myself fume.

“I was leading her to the car, reminding her that Marty had arranged for me to come pick her up. She made some comments about Marty being gone all the time, either with Ring of Honor or in Japan, and that she was really lonely. I told her I was sorry, or some garbage, I don’t know. I was just trying to get her in the car and the seat belt locked. Deonna started to fight me a little, she didn’t want to go home alone and wanted to go home with me. I told her I wasn’t going home, I was coming back to finish movie night with you and then all of a sudden she kind of flew off the handle.”

My nails were digging into my thighs, but I kept my mouth shut as we agreed.

“Anyway she unsheathed her claws and tried to go for my face but I ducked out of the way so she settled for my chest and arms.”

Agreement be damned. “She what?” I exclaimed. Struggling to my knees, I didn’t even think about what I was doing before I swung my leg over Kyle’s thighs, straddling him as I pushed his shirt up. His chest was covered in scratches, deep red welts from his neck to his stomach. Some overlapped, and a few were bleeding.

Kyle continued his story, his hands on the outside of my thighs, watching my furious expression. “Once I got her locked in the seatbelt she stopped fighting me and started crying. Cried the whole way to her house. I had to call Johnny for directions because she couldn’t tell me where she lived.”

“Kyle,” I gasped, my eyes still riveted to his torso. For once, it wasn’t due to his amazing physique. “You can’t wrestle like this! What are you going to do?”

He lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. “I don’t know yet. Wear a shirt, I guess.”

There was a thought nagging at the back of my brain, and I had to see if I was right. Biting my lip, I looked up into his eyes. “You are holding something back, aren’t you? She didn’t just lose her mind because you were coming to see me.”

He hesitated. “She tried to kiss me.”

Pressing my lips together, I fought to keep my protest suppressed. Kyle was not mine. I had no rights to him. If someone else kissed him, I could only object if it was forced upon him. Which it sounded like it was. I wanted to beat her ass, but I needed to keep my jealousy under control.

Pushing the rage down, I cradled his jaw in both my hands, making him look at me. His beard prickled my skin, causing goosebumps down my back. Filing that feeling away for later, I brushed a thumb over the mark near his eye. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It wasn’t fair to you. But for now, let’s get you doctored up. I have a first aid kit in my bathroom.”

He nodded and I stood up, waiting for him to stand before I took him by his hand, leading him through my bedroom to the bathroom. Holding Kyle’s hand felt extremely natural, I didn’t even think twice about it. Something as simple as interlocking our fingers seemed second nature, and I had to admit I liked that.

Kyle sat on the closed toilet lid and took his shirt off, watching as I dug underneath my sink for the first aid kit. Finding it, I placed the small, white box on the counter and opened it. Cotton balls, peroxide, bandaids, it was all here. I was relived, I couldn’t remember the last time I had checked to see if it was stocked.

Tipping the peroxide on the cotton ball to dampen it, I looked at Kyle. “This might sting.”

Giving me a crooked grin that made my panties damp he quipped, “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, Sweetheart.”

My stomach clenched at the endearment but I ignored it, leaning forward to press the cotton to his chest. Deciding to start with the worst ones, I noticed when his muscles tensed, but neither of us mentioned it. I worked silently, keeping focused on my task and not on the color of his skin.

“Syd?” Kyle asked.

“Hmm?”

“My leg is starting to go numb. Do you mind not leaning on it?”

Startled, I looked down at my hand and realized that when I bent over to dab at the welts on Kyle’s chest, I had naturally braced myself on his knee. “Oh God, Kyle, I am so sorry!” I stood up straight, my face on fire as I watched my white handprint flood with color again, turning a dark, angry purple before his skin tone returned to normal.

Kyle chuckled, one hand reaching up to pat my thigh lightly before dropping back down to his own again. “It’s fine. For a while I actually liked it. Had my brain spinning, if you know what I mean.”

My eyes flew up to his. He had a self-satisfied smirk on his face that made me want to either punch him or smile at him. I couldn’t decide, so I rolled my eyes. “Pervert.”

Grinning, he nodded. “You’ll find out one day.”

Getting another cotton ball and adding more peroxide, I quipped at him. “So you keep saying.” He didn’t respond, so I continued with my work, cleaning all the scratches, even the one by his eye, very carefully so that I wouldn’t blind him.

“Do you want Neosporin?” I asked him when I was finished.

Standing, he raised his eyebrow. “The idea of you smearing a Vaseline type product all over my chest has merit.”

I groaned, shoving his arm. “Do you think of anything other than me crawling all over you?”

With a complete deadpan expression, Kyle responded, “No. Why would I? That’s a great thought.”

Biting my lip to stop the grin that wanted to spread across my face, I began cleaning up the first aid supplies. “If you still want to watch Ghost Ship, why don’t you go set it up and I’ll finish here?”

He nodded and left the bathroom, putting his shirt back on. Sighing, I closed the box and placed it back under the sink and then caught sight of myself in the mirror. I looked….vivid. It was the first word that came to my mind and it stuck with me. My eyes were bright, my cheeks flushed, a small smile appeared glued there. I didn’t recognize the girl in the mirror, she seemed happy and vibrant, excited, and most of all, content.

Bracing my hands on the counter, I watched the girl for a bit, wondering if it was real, the happiness. Would it disappear if I blinked? How could I hold onto it? Had anyone else seen it? Even as I stared, it wasn’t as if the girl was grinning dumbly back at me. There was just a light in her, a brightness that was foreign, but welcome. I had to find out how to capture that and keep it.

“Sydney! Movie is cued!” Kyle called. “I made more popcorn! Wrestling with feral cats made me hungry!”

I had stood there longer than I realized. “Be right there!” I answered. Even the reminder of Deonna Purrazzo didn’t dim that light. Interesting.

Making my way to the living room, I smiled when I found Kyle waiting on the couch, blanket and arms held open for me. Again, crawling into his embrace felt normal, as if we did this everyday. I wondered if that was achievable.

Kyle didn’t get his wish in the way he had expected. The movie, while creepy, wasn’t scary, so I didn’t crawl into his lap in fright. But midway through, my eyelids began to droop. Noticing, Kyle nudged on my shoulder until I put my head in his lap, and his fingers began dragging through my hair in the way he now knew that I liked. Humming in pleasure, I relaxed, allowing my eyes to stay closed, drifting away in the peace he created.

When the movie ended, Kyle sat me up, smiling at my disgruntled groan. “Come on, lazybones. Let’s get you to bed. It’s late.”

My eyes flew open in alarm when he swung me up in his arms, carrying me to my bed. “I could have walked.”

“Sure,” he agreed. “But since I really like having my arms around you, why deny me?”

Smiling, I pressed my lips against his shoulder. Not a kiss, just a touch. It was all I allowed myself. Placing me on my bed, he watched as I shrugged my t-shirt off, then crawled under the blanket, pulled my yoga pants off, leaving me in my sports bra and panties.

He groaned. “You are killing me, Syd.”

I bit the inside of my lip to stop my smile. It was becoming a habit around him. Snuggling down under the blankets, I put my head on the pillow and looked up at him. “I don’t want you to leave. I enjoyed tonight a lot and I don’t want it to end.”

Kyle stood there, staring down at me, trying to read my expression. “I can stay.” His voice was low, questioning.

I knew what he was asking. “I like myself when I’m around you,” I mumbled. It wasn’t a clear answer, because I didn’t have one. I’d understand if he left, but I really wanted him to stay.

He didn’t move for a moment, but when he did, he gave a short nod, more to himself then me, and then walked out of my bedroom. Confused, I picked my head up, trying to see what he was doing. Was he leaving?

Through my open door, I saw lights turn out, heard clicking that I associated with the TV being turned off, and the locks on the front door being turned. Sighing in relief, I laid back down. Just a moment later, Kyle was back, shirtless, climbing under my covers on the other side of my bed.

I turned the bedside light off and turned to face him, the streetlight glow just enough so that we could see each other. I was struck by how, just three months ago, we were in the same position, laying in bed together, not touching. Our eyes were locked on one another, searching, just like that day Pete left that stupid note. I remembered thinking that last night with Pete had felt natural and familiar. I had never been more wrong. It was routine, not natural.

But this, I thought as Kyle reached for my hand, wrapping our fingers together between us, this felt _right_. Contentedness relaxed me enough that I closed my eyes, trusting that Kyle would be there in the morning.

I slept better that night than I had in ages.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heart to heart with Ethan leads Sydney to wonder if she's making the same mistakes as always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* Faint unintentional intrusive thoughts

An addition to my established pattern emerged. Every night he was in town, Kyle stayed with me in my bed. Sometimes we snuggled, other times we just held hands, but never once did the topic of relationships or sex come up. The next day, we’d go about our normal schedules and we’d either see each other through the day, or we wouldn’t. But I knew every night where he’d be. We both seemed satisfied with our current status, friends with cuddling benefits. And it confused the Hell out of Ethan.

It was Sunday afternoon and we were in his hot tub, hanging out and catching up. “No, Syd, I don’t get it,” he responded to my run down of Kyle’s sleeping habits, which included one leg under the blankets and one leg on top. “It’s not normal to have sleepovers in your 20s that don’t include sex.”

Rolling my eyes behind my sunglasses, I kicked my feet a little against the spray of a jet. “Just because you have sex with every chick you encounter, doesn’t mean the rest of the population does too.”

“Kyle is weird, man,” he mumbled. His aviator glasses reflected my image, and I continually shifted so that I couldn’t see the distorted version of myself.

“Why?” I snorted. “Because he’s taking it slow and being patient with me? Giving me time to get used to the idea?”

He shook his head. “Look, Syd, I know you hold Kyle up on high, on some damn pedestal, but he’s a _guy_ ok? If he hasn’t made a move yet, there is a reason!” Ethan was alluding to Kyle’s sexuality.

Steeling myself, because honestly, I had the same thought before, I glared at my best friend. “E, he’s made moves.” I sounded defensive but I couldn’t stop myself.

Sitting upright and leaning towards me, he made sure I was paying attention. “Flirty words and slumber parties are not moves.”

Getting frustrated, I looked away from him. “I’m not really sure you understand what I went through with Pete. He left me bruised in a way that doesn’t show. Kyle is like, the balm I need. So guess what? Even if he never ‘makes a move’” I used finger quotes and a sneer, “Kyle can sleepover as long as he wants.”

Leaning back, he ran a wet hand over his head. “You can heal on your own. You don’t need a man to do that.”

I felt like kicking him. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I _am_ doing it on my own. Well, I mean, my friends are helping. And Kyle is a friend.”

“Ever invite Candice to sleep in your bed? Or Dakota?” he challenged me.

This talking in circles was getting us nowhere. “I would if they wanted to!” I retorted. He made a gruff noise and picked up his water bottle from the side of the hot tub. We sat in silence for a moment, and my mind was reeling. “E, what’s the real problem with this? I’m happier than I have been in a long time. I’m sober. I’m not struggling like I used to. Why are you so dead set against Kyle?”

Ethan was shaking his head even as I finished speaking. “Syd, it’s not Kyle, ok? I like him and I like the two of you together. Except, you aren’t _together_. And that pisses me off because the two of you are doing everything except sleeping together and yet you _still_ aren’t in a relationship. So, first you hook up with Pete, who leads you along a merry little road,” he used his fingers to mime walking across the water, “whispering sweet nothings in your ear, and you get fucked over. You’re heart broken, drunk as Hell all the time, and moody. Then finally, _finally,_ you kick his dumb ass to the curb, and then WAM!”

Ethan slapped the top of the water, spraying me and making me jump from the sound. I glared at him through my soaked sunglasses.

“Kyle shows up,” he continued. “So, now, you two are acting like you are in a relationship, but no sex. It’s the exact opposite of Pete, but it ends the same way. You, heart broken and moody.”

Fuming, I cocked my head to the side. “You missed the drunk part.”

Ethan shrugged. “I don’t want to jinx it.”

“Ugh,” I moaned, leaning my head back against the side of the tub. “I get what you are saying, and I understand why you feel that way, but Ethan, please. Don’t push this. We’ll go at our own pace.”

I really did understand his hesitation. Or protectiveness, really. Ethan thought he was saving me from myself. And it was possible he was right. All I knew was, I was not going to give up Kyle and the happiness I felt around him, not without a fight.

The thought brought me up short.

Months ago, Ethan and I had an argument about Pete, about him not treating me right, and I had told him to back off, because I knew what I was doing. And it ended in disaster. Casting a side eye look at my best friend, I began to feel uneasy. Ethan’s advice always ended up being valid, and usually I was just too stubborn to hear it. Was he right this time? Did I need to push Kyle into making things official between us? My stomach clenched. What if it ruined what we had now? What if it was all he could offer me? Coy lines and hand holding in bed. What if he pitied me and he was a just nice guy?

I was going to throw up.

Taking a deep breath, I made a grabby hand at Ethan, and knowing me the way he did, he wordlessly handed me a bottle of water. I chugged it, ignoring the incredulous look on his face before I tossed the empty bottle at him. Dodging it, he hit it with his hand, batting it against the house where it fell to be picked up later.

I kept hearing one phrase over and over in my head: _all he could offer me_. It bounced around the cavern of my mind, getting louder and louder with every iteration. It haunted me, the phrase I used for Pete now possibly could refer to Kyle. Was I doomed to just accept whatever affection was offered my way? Why couldn’t I like guys who cared, and wanted to make an honest woman out of me? The way Ethan had put it made me feel like a hussy, like some sort of emotional sponge just dying to absorb an ounce of warmth from anyone who looked twice at me.

“What are you thinking about over there? You got really quiet.”

Looking at Ethan, I shrugged weakly. “Just trying to figure out if I’m defective or not.”

Normally, Ethan would bark a laugh and tell me yes, I was broken. But not this time. “Syd, I don’t exactly know what’s whirring around your brain, but I do know this: You are a good person with good intentions who deserves the best in everything. Which is why you hang out with me.” He beamed at me, breaking my depressing pity party, making me laugh.

“Naturally.” I kicked water at him and he grabbed my foot, tugging me underwater. Immediately he let go, but I stayed there, watching my glasses drift off my face and the sunlight beam through the water. I knew this place, I dreamed about it. I just had to get to the surface, and everything would be clear. Everything would make sense. Decisions would be easy.

But I stayed for a moment longer, because it was warm. The jets beat at my body in an unfamiliar way causing my eyebrows to crunch in confusion. It was uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it. I was just about to come up for air when big hands gripped me under my arms and hauled me upright.

“Jesus Christ, Sydney! What the Hell were you doing under there? Taxes?” Ethan’s voice boomed at me as I sputtered.

Wiping the water from my face, I glared at him and lied through my teeth. “I was trying to find my glasses!”

His face was clouded, my sunglasses floating in between us in the swirling water. “Don’t you ever do that again, do you understand?”

Momentarily, I was taken aback. Immediately I tried to appease him. “I wasn’t trying to hurt myself, E, I promise.”

My best friend only shook his head and turned to climb out of the hot tub. I watched him walk across the patio past the pool and then enter the living room through the sliding glass doors. Sighing, I leaned my forehead against the rim of the tub, covering my eyes with my hands. Stupid, I thought. Stupid to get so caught up that I had hurt Ethan. No, not hurt. I had scared him. I felt horrible, and I knew of only one way to make it up to him.

I was going to have to go golfing.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan gets good news and an old flame returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loving all the reactions, thank you! I accept comments, kudos, keyboard smashes, chocolate of any form, and cat pictures!
> 
> Don't forget to BOOKMARK to get updates!

Golfing with Ethan was not the typical way most people golf, especially when one needed to apologize to him. He could be a little vindictive, but in the end, once it was done, it was done, and never spoken of again.

We were at the driving range, only because it was late in the afternoon. If it had been earlier, there was no doubt we’d be on a traditional green, Ethan buzzing around in a golf cart and me lugging the golf bag behind him, on foot. The place was empty, unusually so, but that didn’t really matter either. Even if it had been packed full, I would still be in the middle of the field, surrounded on all sides by netting, as Ethan stood on the second level of the building (which honestly looked like someone had cut the end of a parking garage off).

“Ok, Syd!” he called, his voice echoing to me. “Only fifty more to go!”

With that, he swung back, and nailed the little white golf ball right over my head. Sighing, I watched it fly to the far back of the green, and I trotted after it. This was my task. One hundred golf balls to be retrieved and dropped in a bucket in the middle of the area, by hand. The driving range had one of those converted mowers that acted like a vacuum where they could suck the balls up by the multitudes. Obviously I was not an employee, so I couldn’t use that. And I couldn’t pick up a bunch of balls all at once. Every time Ethan hit one, I had to go get it. Rules were rules.

I really was thankful it wasn’t boiling hot as the sun went down. Ethan was lobbing those balls on a consistent basis and I was running back and forth. I was sweaty, but it wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and I pulled it out as I saw Ethan hit the next ball and watched where it fell. As I went after it, I glanced at the screen.

**_Kyle: Tell Ethan to answer his phone_ **

**_Me: You trying to get ahold of him?_ **

**_Kyle: Not me. Hunter_ **

I stopped dead in my tracks. Hunter was trying to get ahold of Ethan?

“Sydney! Did you see where that one went?” Ethan yelled to me.

Looking up at him, I could see his exasperated expression. “Kyle texted me!” I shouted to be heard over the distance between us. “Hunter is looking for you. Answer your phone!”

If not for the nagging thought in the back of my mind, there really was only one reason Hunter would be looking for a wrestler after hours during the week, E’s mad scramble as he dropped the club and dived for his phone would have been humorous.

I watched my best friend mutter into the phone, his hand on his forehead. He was turning in little half circles, not quite pacing but obviously unable to stand still. I stood there dumbly, not sure what to do. I didn’t want to miss a second of Ethan getting the news I knew he was getting, but I was too far away to hear what was happening. Did I make the mad dash to the second story? What if I missed the moment? At least from here, I could see him, if not hear him.

Slowly, I began walking across the green, my eyes locked on Ethan. Just as I was about to be out of sight line, Ethan took the phone away from his ear and looked at me. His face held a lot of different emotions, but excitement and surprise were paramount.

“Syd! Syd!” he called out. “I’m being called up!”

Shrieking, I darted for the stairs, hearing Ethan’s laughter and matching footsteps echo on the concrete. He met me halfway down the staircase, scooping me up into his arms as I rounded the banister. Together we were laughing and crying, both talking at the same time, jumping up and down like two idiots.

“Ethan this is amazing, I’m so happy for you!” I again dove into his arms, hugging him close.

As we separated, he wiped his eyes, and I pretended I didn’t see the tears there. “Jesus, this came out of left field! I’m supposed to go to Raw and Smackdown next week because they want to see where I fit in. Others are going too, of course. Tucker and Otis. Lacey.”

He was talking a mile a minute, and I just stood there, beaming at him. He had worked really hard to be a reliable Superstar. His work was consistent, he was a leader in the NXT locker room, and his TV work was second to none.

“Party! Yes!” he exclaimed, like someone had asked him. “We need to have a party to celebrate!”

Laughing, I allowed him to pull me behind him back down the staircase and out to the car. “What about my repentance?”

We climbed in the car and before I even had my seatbelt on, Ethan was out of the parking spot and headed towards the highway. “You are forgiven. A thousand times forgiven. Oh my god, I can’t focus!”

The grin on my face was starting to hurt, but seeing Ethan’s dreams coming true was exhilarating.

He began calling people on the car phone, telling people the party was on at his house that night, to invite everyone, it didn’t matter who.

Biting my lip, I sent a text to Kyle.

**_Me: So Ethan is getting called up. Are you? Is that why you knew Hunter was looking for him?_ **

It only took a moment for Kyle to respond.

**_Kyle: No, Babe. I was with Tucker when he got the call. Hunter said he had been trying to get ahold of Ethan. Why wasn’t he answering the phone?_ **

**_Me: He was making me play fetch_ **

**_Kyle: Do I even want to know?_ **

**_Me: It’s better if I explain in person. Going to the party tonight?_ **

**_Kyle: Yeah, me and the UE boys will be there. Can’t wait to see you_ **

I giggled a little bit, but Ethan didn’t hear me. He was on the phone bickering with Kona Reeves.

**_Me: You coming home with me tonight?_ **

**_Kyle: I wouldn’t be anywhere else_ **

Ethan took me directly to my place so I could shower and change. I prompted him to not wait for me, since he had some setting up to do. Kyle said he and the guys would pick me up at nine. I grabbed a quick bite to eat and got ready, fielding excited texts and calls from friends and co-workers as they got the news about the party.

I checked the clock and realized I only had about fifteen more minutes until Kyle showed up. Looking in the mirror, I approved of my outfit. Simple black jeans with an EC3 shirt that I had made into a crop top. Cheesy, maybe, but my best friend just got a promotion and I was over the moon.

White Converse completed the outfit, while I went a little bolder than I normally do with my makeup. Bright red lip stain and faded blue eye shadow to contrast my eyes. I felt pretty good, I thought, as I grabbed a jean jacket and headed to the living room. Dressing up didn’t happen often, so when I got the chance, I tried to have fun with it.

A knock sounded on my front door and upon opening it, I found Kyle, clan in blue jeans, boots, and a pale green button down shirt that had me drooling.

“Wow,” we both said simultaneously. Grinning at each other, Kyle held his hand out to me.

“Ready?”

“Yep, let’s go.”

I locked my door and walked hand in hand with Kyle to the elevator and then down to the car where the other three members of Undisputed Era were waiting in Roddy’s SUV. Sliding in the back, I grinned at Bobby and said hi to Adam and Roddy. Sandwiched between Kyle and Bobby, I listening to the four of them bicker back and forth, particularly about Roddy’s driving, until Adam spoke to me.

“So, Syd how’s it going?” he asked me, looking over his shoulder with a smug grin.

I liked Adam, but that smile made me wary. Like I was about to be the butt of a joke or made to be very uncomfortable. “Fine, Adam. How is it going with you?”

He ignored my question, as I expected him to, and his eyes darted between me and Kyle. “Been hanging with our boy a lot, haven’t you?”

Pinching my lips together, I didn’t respond. I was not going to set myself up for this trap. I could see it coming, but had no idea how to stop it.

Kyle’s hands were clenched on his thighs. “Adam, man, don’t start.”

Adam threw his hands up in the air. “I’m not doing anything!” he denied. “I just have one question, and then I’ll leave it alone, ok?”

As if we had a choice.

“When are you going to make an honest man our of my brother, Sydney? Sleeping with a man says a lot, you know?” That shit-eating grin was still plastered on his face, and I flashed back to my conversation with Ethan just that afternoon. Looked like he wasn’t the only one with his nose in our business.

I heard Kyle groan next to me and he put his head in his hand, braced against the window by his elbow.

Annoyed, I quipped back. “Adam, have you ever been golfing with Ethan?”

From smug to confused in a second, Adam shook his head. “Uh, no. Why?”

I nodded to myself, patting Kyle’s leg in reassurance. “You should try it some time. Tell him I told you to give you the full ‘Ethan Carter III’ treatment, ok?”

He looked dubious, but kept his mouth shut, which was a good thing, because we pulled onto Ethan’s street. Both sides of the road were jammed with cars, and I hoped Ethan had arranged that with his neighbors or we were going to get an early visit from the cops. Roddy found a place to park and we all piled out of the vehicle, Kyle helping me down from the high seat. As he shut the door, he kept ahold of my hand.

“Sorry about Adam.”

I waved him off. “It’s fine. I got the third degree from Ethan today too. There are bound to be questions about us, right?”

He gave me a slight smile, but his eyes still held worry. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Ready to go inside?” I asked. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the reason he looked at me like I was on the verge of darting into traffic. Ethan and our friends were the main focus here, I didn’t want any issues to cloud over that.

Suddenly, Kyle beamed at me, squeezing my hand. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

Feeling confused, I let him lead me down the sidewalk, up the driveway, and into Ethan’s house, where I found a rave with loud music, and my friend in a toga.

“Was this a costume party, and you failed to tell anyone?” I asked him over the music, leaning in to hug him in the foyer.

Ethan laughed. “No, I’m just in a good mood and decided to have some fun.” Pulling me to the side, disconnecting me from Kyle’s hand, he mumbled in my ear. “Deonna and Pete are here.”

“What?” I exclaimed, rearing back to look at him.

Rolling his eyes, he tugged me back towards him again. “Word got around.”

Fuming I glared at him. “Next time don’t say ‘invite everyone, it’s a party!’”

He shrugged, unrepentant. “Behave yourself, and they will too!”

“Ugh,” I stomped off, trying to find Kyle, who I had lost in the crowd. As far as I knew, Pete didn’t know anything about Kyle and I. What was I supposed to do? Act like we were in a relationship? Act like we weren’t? Explain what was happening to Pete? Should I even talk to Pete? And _Deonna,_ I mentally growled. She’d already tried to accost Kyle while drunk once, I was going to have to keep my eye on her.

As I made my way through the crowd, I was stopped by multiple people, Candice and Johnny, Dakota, Kona Reeves, Vanessa Borne, Aleister and even a few of the newest recruits. I didn’t quite know all their names yet, so I smiled and chit chatted with them, just like I had done with my friends, my eyes searching the crowd.

I caught sight of Pete first. He was leaning against a wall near the TV, a scowl on his face as he surveyed the mass of people around him. He was alone, but I didn’t think that would be the case for very long. Excusing myself from the group, I darted across the room to the kitchen, the opposite direction of Pete Dunne. As I rounded the island, I found Kyle there with Bobby.

“Hey,” he smiled at me. “I lost you.”

Bobby handed me a plastic cup, and I was internally surprised. Plastic cups in Ethan’s house? Someone else must have brought them. Sniffing the contents, I made a face. “What is in this?” I asked.

Kyle’s face seemed concerned as he peered into my cup while Bobby answered. “I think rum and coke.”

I immediately handed the cup back to him. “I’m sober, Bobby, remember?”

“Shit!” he cursed, putting the cup on the counter behind him. “I’m sorry, I totally forgot.”

Laughing, I shrugged. “It’s fine. Look at it this way, I passed the test!”

Bobby muttered curse words at himself as I moved to make my own drink. To be honest, I felt really good about being able to deny alcohol and not feel any negative reaction towards it, especially with Pete in the room. I didn’t feel lonely or stressed. I felt content and happy.

Kyle came up behind me, kissing my hair. “How did that feel?”

Grinning, I looked at him over my shoulder. “Really damn good.”

His smile charmed me, and he leaned in to brush a kiss to my temple. The affection was different than I was used to in a public place, but I wasn’t complaining. “I’m proud of you.”

Only nodding, I finished pouring myself a coke from the bottle. In front of me, I could see the sea of friends dancing, talking, and laughing, and their joy was contagious. “I’m gonna go see Dakota, ok?” I asked Kyle.

“Of course. It’s a bit too loud in here for me. I’m heading to the patio.”

“Alright.” I watched him walk off, a faint smile on my face.  My eyes then moved to find Dakota in the crowd, and landed on Pete, who was still in the same place, against the wall. He was staring at me, and the glare on his face only deepened as he watched the exchange between me and Kyle.

As I watched, he pushed himself off the wall and began stalking my way.

Well, I mused, I guess the cat is out of the bag.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete has something to say....
> 
> ....and so does Ethan

It was now or never, I thought, as Pete stopped next to me. He was dressed in black jeans and a long-sleeved cable knit sweater. Weird outfit for a stuffy Florida evening, but Pete was Pete. He leaned against the counter like we were just two friends having a chat. But I knew this wasn’t going to be friendly.

“Hello,” he said, not looking directly at me.

Rolling my eyes, I mimicked his stance, watching the crowd as a popular song came on the stereo and they went wild. “Hey, Pete.”

“I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

Sighing, I lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. “Not much to say.”

He was quiet for a minute, then turned his head to look at me. I couldn’t read his face, so I had no idea what was going to come out of his mouth. “I just thought you would have reached out to me. You were really rude the last time we saw each other. I expected an apology.”

Ok, I was not expecting _that._ I barked out an incredulous laugh, shaking my head. “You insulted me and told me I’d never get far in life without you because I’m an alcoholic, Pete. No, I didn’t contact you. And look at me now, almost four months sober. In fact, the last words out of your mouth had something to do with a bet, didn’t they, Pete?” He didn’t answer, but he stood straighter, turning his body to face mine. “I don’t owe you any type of apology, and if you are waiting on one, go wait somewhere else, please.”

His eyes searched my face. I don’t know what he found there, but apparently it wasn’t enough to convince him of my newfound strength. His smile looked like a sneer, and he nodded to himself. “Keep thinking you are strong on your own, Syd. I know you better than that. I mean, I saw you over here with O’Reilly. Already got him ensnared, don’t you? Leaning on him just a little bit, are you?” As he spoke, he stepped into my personal space, and whispered in my ear. “Does he know how you taste, Sydney? It haunts me. Makes my mouth water. So I’ll wait, you go play with O’Reilly, and when you are done, call me.”

Pete stepped away, taking all the air I had in my lungs with him. It felt as if he had punched me in the gut. His words went from one extreme to the other, leaving me feeling dizzy and off balance. Any bravado I’d previously had evaporated as he walked away, a smug smile on his face. He knew what he had done, Hell, _I_ knew what he had done. He had effectively made me question my relationship with Kyle and my own sobriety in just a few short sentences. Pete made me feel weak, worrying if I was an imposition to Kyle. Did I have our whole dynamic wrong? Maybe Ethan and Adam were right, in different ways. Kyle was a good person, my friend, but I had begun to think of him as _mine,_ my boyfriend, although we never once had that sort of discussion. Was I delusional, creating something out of nothing as a coping technique? Kyle was flirty, and suggestive, but as Ethan had said, that didn’t mean he wanted anything more. Never once had he pushed me for _more._ What guy doesn’t want more? What guy just sleeps in a girl’s bed without really trying something? Was he just creating a safe space for me so that I wasn’t tempted to drink? I was thankful for that, but to be honest, I felt a little bit lead on.

A hand on my elbow had me gasping in surprise. I whirled around, finding Ethan in all his toga-glory glaring at Pete over my shoulder, following his progress into the crowd. “Are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What did he say to you?” His questions were rapid-fire and harsh, but I knew that wasn’t directed at me.

I could feel the tears I was holding back begin to prickle at my eyes. “I don’t, I- I- I can’t,” I stuttered.

As always, Ethan knew what I needed without direction. Keeping his hand on my elbow, he guided me through the throngs of people and loud music down the hallway to his bedroom. Closing the door behind us, he wrapped me in a big hug.

“I’m happy to kick Pete’s ass if he said something to upset you.”

Burying my face in his chest, I sighed, trying to keep the waterworks locked up tight. “I don’t want this party to be about me and my drama. I’m sorry.”

Ethan scoffed, pulling away so that he could see my face. “Forget the party. Spill it. I want to know if Pete Dunne needs a talking to.”

I knew Ethan was trying to make light of the situation to try to ease my tension, but I ran a hand through my hair and began to pace back and forth. “What if you are right, E? About Kyle.”

He frowned. “Pete is giving you a hard time about Kyle?” He was trying to understand my train of thought.

Biting my lip, I kept my eyes downward, still moving. “I must be insane. I can’t possibly think Kyle likes me the way I like him. It doesn’t make sense at all.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Ethan held a hand up and closed his eyes for a moment. “That did _not_ just come out of your mouth.”

I kept going, ignoring his protests. “And why would I ever think I could stay sober? I mean, it’s a foregone conclusion that I’m going to relapse, right? I can’t do anything right, I mess everything up. I should just admit defeat and do what comes natural to me.

“Sydney, I swear to God if you say one more word it will be your ass I kick!”

Stopping, I swung around to face him, spreading my arms out, imploring Ethan. “Look at me, E! I’m a wreck!”

I swear he growled at me. “You are not! You’ve worked your ass off to get better and you are doing great. You weren’t wrong today, when you said you were happier than you’ve ever been. Everyone has noticed! And do you know why?” I shook my head. “Because Pete isn’t around to drag you under, Sydney! Pete Dunne, while a great wrestler, is a piece of shit when it comes to relationships. You knew it all along! You finally stood up to him and he ghosted you. Now he’s back and suddenly you are questioning yourself? That’s bullshit right there and I don’t want to hear another word about it, do you understand?”

I stood there, frozen, as Ethan lectured me, tears silently making their way down my face. So much for my bomb make-up. “Ethan, Kyle is better than me in every way.”

He snorted and crossed his arms. “He chose you.”

Shaking my head, I sat down on his bed. “But he hasn’t.”

“Sometimes,” Ethan muttered, “I really want to slap you.” Raising his voice to the normal level again, he waved his arm in the air. “All this, everything that is going on with you and Kyle, you think is happening because he’s _nice_? Didn’t I tell you that guys don’t do that? He wants to be with you, Syd, that’s why he spends time with you. But he’s waiting for you to make the first move, to show him you are ready!” he rolled his eyes like I was the biggest idiot in the world.

And maybe I was, because I was comparing the two conversations I’d had with Ethan, earlier today and right now, and while they were similar, they didn’t exactly match. “I’m pretty sure you insinuated that he was gay.”

He shrugged. “I was hoping you’d confess gross sexual details but instead you tried to drown yourself.”

“I did not!” I protested before seeing the smirk on Ethan’s face. “I hate you.”

“And you are a bitch for making me miss my party. I’ll send you my bill for therapy,” he shot back at me, laughing. Crossing the distance between us, he kissed the top of my head. “You ok now?”

Nodding a little, I stayed seated. “I’m gonna hang out in here for a bit. Get myself together before I go talk to Kyle.”

Ethan tugged on my hair in affection before turning to leave the room. “Just don’t cause any fights, ok? Otis is one keg in and I don’t know if I can stop him from creating a mosh pit in reaction to fists being thrown.”

“Keep him sober,” I cautioned. “The last thing you guys want is to get to Raw tomorrow and be hungover.”

He left the room and I sat there for a while. Today was a wild pendulum of emotions, from being comfortable with Kyle, to questioning his intentions. From being proud of myself to doubting my sobriety. What kind of person sabotages someone’s recovery? And why?

One thing was for sure. I wasn’t going to get answers hiding in Ethan’s bedroom. Heaving a deep sigh, I hoisted myself to my feet, glancing in the mirror above the dresser. My crying had unintentionally created a smoky eye effect, but it looked sloppy, and my hair was a mess from Ethan’s affections so I fixed that. I really just wanted to spend time with my friends, but I knew if I didn’t talk to Kyle first, I’d be worrying about the conversation all night, not having any fun anyway.

Using the sliding glass door in Ethan’s bedroom, I walked out onto the patio, eye scanning the ten or fifteen people milling around, looking for the only ginger I cared about.

And I found him, sitting at a table, with Deonna Purrazzo, a huge smile on his face as he leaned towards her.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions are made, steps are taken, and Kyle and Sydney stop dancing around the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....brace yourselves friends, the fire is igniting....

For the second time that night, I was left gasping for air. I stood there frozen, partially hidden by Punishment Martinez and Jesse with her large white rimmed glasses. The sense of betrayal I felt watching Kyle and Deonna laugh and talk really made me take a good hard look at myself. Whatever issues Deonna and I had, we had never hashed them out, but she seemed to be everywhere I wanted to be. I wasn’t sure why I was uncomfortable around her, I just knew she was up to something.

Silently, I stepped back into Ethan’s room, closing the door behind me. I could hear the music from the living room, faded and undefined, laughter mixing with the sounds. Everyone was having a great time, celebrating, and I was hiding as if I didn’t belong here.

As soon as I had that thought, I disregarded it. Of course I belonged, I was just feeling sorry for myself.

Sighing, I made a decision. I needed to leave. I hated to do it, but I was in no state to socialize. The call for an Uber was quick, and I took some time to write Ethan an apology note using the back of a credit card bill I had found on his dresser. He spent too much money on suits, is all I’m going to say.

Deciding the best way to avoid detection and drama was to go back out to the patio and leave through the backyard gate, I slid the door open, and snuck through silently, Jesse waving at me as I tiptoed past the hot tub.

I got to the sidewalk and paced. The urge to drink was incredibly overwhelming, so I counted steps instead. Twenty steps forward. Turn. Twenty steps forward. Turn. Twenty steps forward. Turn.

I lost count of how many times I turned before I saw the Uber driver pull up next to me. Sighing gratefully, I climbed in and made small talk with the driver the whole way home. Inside my back pocket my phone was vibrating, but I steadfastly ignored it. I needed space. I needed to get my mind right, because something was going on with me that I couldn’t define. There was a sense of disgruntlement, restlessness, and that impulse gremlin was waking up.

I was scared of what he would do.

Entering my apartment, I locked the door behind me and pulled my shoes and jacket off, leaving them in a pile in the foyer. My jeans, t shirt and bra were next, replaced with the ugliest pair of sweats I owned and a tank top. Wiping the makeup off my face felt like Heaven on Earth. I resisted looking directly at myself in the mirror. I knew that happy girl wasn’t there today, I needed no confirmation of that fact.

Slumping on the couch, my legs propped up on the coffee table, I decided it was time to face the music and look at the messages on my phone.

**_Dakota: Looking for you. Thought we were gonna dance :-/_ **

**_Kyle: Babe, where are you?_ **

**_Candice: Did I just see you leave?_ **

**_Ethan: You did not just leave me a note on a credit card bill. Get your butt back here_ **

**_Kyle: Syd, no one can find you. Please answer_ **

**Missed Call: 10:35 pm**

**Missed Call: 10:42pm**

**Missed Call: 10:55pm**

**_Ethan: Kyle is going crazy looking for you. Answer him_ **

**_Kyle: Sydney WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???_ **

I grimaced. They weren’t happy, Kyle especially. I couldn’t remember him ever cursing at me. For some reason, it never occurred to me to make sure anyone other than Ethan knew I was leaving. Maybe subconsciously I knew they would stop me, and I just wanted to run away.

**_Candice: Wherever you are, you missed Kyle throwing a chair into E’s pool. He’s ANGRY_ **

**_Ethan: Great, your disappearing act has me fishing furniture out of my pool. MORE GOLF FOR YOU_ **

**_Dakota: Forget dancing. Kyle screaming your name like he’s on the set of Braveheart is the most dramatic thing I’ve ever seen._ **

**_Pete: Ran away, did you?_ **

As always, Pete knew my fight or flight instincts had taken hold.

**_Pete: Love, I think you’ve broken Kyle’s heart. So sad._ **

**Missed Call: 11:10pm**

**Missed Call: 11:13pm**

Dumping my phone on the couch, I groaned, covering my face with my hands. Puffing out air, I dropped my hands and stared at the ceiling. The drama I had hoped to avoid by leaving seemed to have happened without my presence. Pete’s text was uncalled for. Just adding salt to the wound.

Suddenly, loud banging on my front door echoed in my apartment. My heart jumped into my throat and then began beating wildly. The sound had scared me half to death.

“Sydney!”

“Kyle?” Getting up, I made my way to the door to unlock it. Opening it, I found Kyle, eyes wide with panic, his chest heaving as he gasped for air. He looked like he had run up the stairs instead of using the elevator. “What are you doing here?”

His eyes clouded. “Are you kidding me? What am I doing here?” he exclaimed, pushing his way past me and closing the door. “You bailed on me, Syd, with no word at all. You just _left_ and you want to know what I’m doing here? I’m here for some fucking answers!”

I had backed out of his way and was now standing in my living room, clueless as to how I had ended with a raging Kyle in front of me. My whole body felt like electricity was running through it and I was on high alert. “I got overwhelmed,” I whispered. “I wanted to drink.”

Kyle glowered at me. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have brought you home. Why did you leave, making me worry about you?”

I had messed up again. “I didn’t think you’d be that worried, I’m sorry. You looked like you were having a good time with Deonna.” My hands were gripping the sides of my sweats.

Throwing his hands in the air, Kyle turned away from me, only to wildly pivot back. “Are you serious? What do I have to do, Sydney? What do I have to do to get you to realize how much you mean to me?” he was shouting, and even though I could tell it was only out of frustration, I could feel the tears start to leak from my eyes.

“You can’t,” I muttered.

“I can’t what?”

“You can’t care about me. It doesn’t make sense.”

Kyle’s mouth dropped open, and he stood there, gaping at me. After what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds, he seemed to recover. “What the hell have I been doing for the past four months then, huh? Was I not caring about you?”

“You were being a friend.” My voice was low, either from shame or intimidation, I wasn’t sure.

He snorted. “Yes, I was being a friend, because that’s what you needed. And the whole goddamn time I’m trying to be supportive and consistent so that you could get your feet under you, which, by the way, worked! Meanwhile, as I was being a _friend_ I was also trying my damnedest to not grab you and fuck you against the wall!”

I felt my body jolt at his outburst and I stared at him helplessly. It was the first time he had ever been so plain about what he was feeling. No flirting or suggestive innuendos here. No, that was about as straight forward as you could be.

“Sydney,” Kyle voice dropped to a whisper and he took a step towards me, his hands out imploring me to listen, to understand. “Why do you insist on seeing yourself as some sort of screw up who doesn’t deserve good things? That’s not who you are!”

Everything in me begged my legs to take a step back. Not away from Kyle, but away from the truth I wasn’t ready to face. “It’s who I’ve always been.”

“That might have been true, but it isn’t who you are now. I know who you are. You are the most persistent, stubborn, dedicated, kind-hearted, selfless person I’ve ever known. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. But do you know what’s more important to me than that?”

I shook my head, held completely under his spell, my eyes locked with his.

“It’s more important to me that you see and know the person I see when I look at you. I want you to understand that you are capable and self-sufficient. I want that for you more than I want to be with you.”

My legs buckled and Kyle caught me. His words were magic, filling all the holes left in my heart from years of self-abuse. Oh, I wasn’t healed by any means, the holes went through and through, but they were getting smaller, and Kyle was the balm I needed.

And I wasn’t going to deny myself anymore.

As Kyle wrapped me up in his arms, I circled my own around his neck, pulling him down to my lips. I felt his body shudder against mine, and I felt a small bit of feminine pleasure. I made him do that. It was me.

Kyle was letting me lead, his lips hesitant while the rest of him seemed raring to go. But I didn’t want that. I wanted him to make everything disappear, Ethan leaving, Deonna, Pete, all of it.

“Kyle,” I moaned against his lips, “please.”

In a flash, Kyle had his hands cupping my face and was walking me backwards until I was flush against the wall near my bedroom door. His eyes were locked on mine, and I felt an excited hitch in my chest at the intensity I saw there. “I want to be perfectly clear here, Sydney. If we do this, there is no going back. You will be mine, in every sense of the word, and I will be spending my days and nights proving to you how special you are. And I’ll take that job very seriously. Do you understand? Is that what you want?”

What girl wouldn’t? Desperately, I wanted that. With every fiber of my being I yearned to be Kyle’s. But in the back of my head, the little gremlin was jeering at me _you don’t deserve Kyle he’s too good for you_ and it made me hesitate just a moment too long for Kyle’s liking.

“Fuck, Sydney, that wasn’t a damn test question! It didn’t need a lot of thought!”

Those stupid tears were back, and I gripped Kyle’s forearms in my hands, trying to anchor myself. I didn’t want him to move away while I figured out the words I needed to say. Taking a deep breath, I bit my lip and then spilled every thought I had in my head.

“I’ve never wanted anything more than to belong to you. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you. I want to be so close to you that somehow, some of your warmth and goodness will become mine and I’ll deserve to be called yours, Kyle. My life isn’t easy, being with me won’t be easy. I make mistakes, I hurt people, I’m impulsive and frustrating. You deserve better than me.”

His hands clenched around my face, not painfully so, but enough that I felt his tension. “I’ve made my decision, Syd. If you want me, I’m with you every step of the way.”

God those words sounded so good, but I’d been entrapped by pretty words before. The pain cracked my voice as I whimpered, “You’ll leave. Everyone leaves.”

“I came for you, Syd! Ethan didn’t come find you! Pete couldn’t care less! Candice and Dakota, they didn’t either. Me! I’m here! I don’t know what I can do to prove to you that I’m not leaving you!”

“What about Deonna?” the words were out before I even realized they were on my mind.

His eyebrows bunched in confusion. “What about her?”

I couldn’t look at him, it hurt too much. Casting my eyes downward, I focused on his shirt. “The two of you looked friendly at Ethan’s party.”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, _friendly_ , Sydney. That’s it, just friendly. I know she makes you uncomfortable, and I respect that, but I wasn’t trying to cause a scene. Well, I guess I ended up doing that anyway after Pete told me you skipped out.”

Shocked, my eyes flew up to his again. His hands no longer cradled my face, they had drifted down to my neck and his thumbs were rubbing circles absentmindedly on my collarbone. “Pete told you I left?”

“He was a real asshole about it. But forget that, you and I need to figure out what our next step is.”

I felt dizzy. How did we end up going from making out to discussing Deonna and Pete? Kyle was right, it was time to take a step. Any step. Just something other than this stagnant dance we were doing. Slowly I moved one hand from Kyle’s forearm, trailing along his sleeve and then down to his ribcage. Breathing primarily through my nose so I could control the air in my lungs, I gripped his shirt in my hand and looked up at him.

“I’ve made my choice. I want you.”

Kyle was still just for a moment, and then he was on me, pushing me fully against the wall, his body covering mine as his lips found their place on my neck. I gasped, my eyes fluttering closed and a low moan escaping my throat. For a moment, all I could do was feel. I felt hot, but chills were running down my spine, my heart was beating loudly in my ears, my legs weak.

I tugged Kyle’s head up by his neck so that I could kiss him. This was full of everything I had ever wanted to give him, passion, heat, trust. Our tongues and lips danced, and I pressed myself against Kyle’s body, just needing to feel some friction.

Kyle moaned low in his throat. “God, you taste amazing.” His hands ran down my arms and then across my back, holding me close.

I had no words, I felt as if we’d done enough talking, enough waiting. I wanted him, body and soul. Pushing him back a step, I began unbuttoning his shirt, glaring at the white tank top it revealed as I parted the sides. Pushing the green shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, I didn’t wait for him to drop it before I tried tugging the tank top up.

Kyle chuckled. “Slow down, Baby, we’ll get there.”

I let out an unhappy sound, watching as he removed both shirts and stood before me. Knowing I could touch him seemed to make me shake, and I placed my hands on his chest, partly to keep myself upright, and partly because I couldn’t resist.

My hands traced the letters of his tattoo on his ribcage, and I looked up at him. “What does it mean?” I asked.

He gave me an indulgent smile. “It says Fortis et Fidus. It was passed down by my Scottish ancestors. It means strong and faithful.” Emotions clogged my throat. Yes, that fit Kyle perfectly.

Kyle’s hands were not idle as I drooled over his bare chest. He had slipped a hand under my black tank top, feeling my skin before catching my eye. Slightly nodding at him, I raised my arms, allowing him to pull the cloth over my head.

As soon as it was gone, I was falling through the air only to be caught by Kyle’s arm. I realized he had bent me backward, and his hot mouth had latched onto my nipple, causing me to gasp. Wrapping my arms around his head, holding him to me, I tilted my head back, eyes closed, just _feeling_ everything.

Kyle’s large hand spanned my stomach as he licked and bit at my breasts, his beard scraping my skin, and I could feel his length growing against my thigh. I was hyerfocused on it and my mouth began to water. I had to have him in my mouth _now._

Pushing at his head, I ignored the look of surprise on his face as I made him disengage from me and dropped to my knees. “Sydney,” he lightly protested.

I shushed him, my hands working on the belt, button, and zipper of his pants. I wasted no time, having felt that I had waited long enough, and shoved his pants down his thighs along with his boxer briefs. As I did, his dick sprung up and caught my attention again, and this time, I audibly gulped. He had the Scottish Thickness, and it was flushed red against the paleness of his torso. I didn’t hesitate.

Taking ahold of him on one hand, I braced myself on his thigh with the other, licking long wet strips over his shaft with my tongue. I wasn’t going to be able to fit him all in my mouth, but _fuck_ if I wasn’t going to try.

Kyle’s little gasps spurred me on, and a hand came up to lock itself in my hair. Momentarily, I closed my eyes, loving the feeling of belonging, the sense of safety I had in Kyle’s hands. But I was a driven individual, Kyle had said so. And nothing could keep me from my goal of having Kyle’s’ dick inside of me, one way or another.

Looking up at Kyle, looming over me, his eyes bright but hooded in pleasure, I felt my panties dampen. It was incredibly sexy. Tracing the head of his dick against my lips a few times, I watched him shudder, and I bit back a smug smile. Just as his eyes were about to close from pleasure, I opened my mouth and slid it down his shaft, loving the way his eyes flew open in shock.

“Syd,” he moaned, his fist clenching in my hair. I felt his hips buck, but he kept himself remarkedly still, allowing me to go at my own pace.

I added some strokes, my lips and hand meeting halfway on every downward movement of my head. Every so often I’d pull off and lick him again, trailing down to suck on his balls, before swallowing him down again.

Beneath my hand, his thighs were shaking. “God, that feels so good, Baby. You suck me so good.” He tilted his head back and we lost eye contact, but his groans told me everything I needed to know.

Pushing myself further down, I swallowed around him, earning a snarl and a curse, my tongue rubbing that vein on the underside of his dick. He tasted like Heaven, smelled even better, and if I died in this moment, it would all be worth it.

Without warning, Kyle bent over, grabbed me under my arms, and hauled me into his embrace, his lips on mine. I protested, but wrapped my legs around his waist anyway as he palmed my ass. “No, no, the only place I’m going to cum is inside of that pretty pussy.”

My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I felt myself rub my still clothed core over his belly. “Kyle,” I moaned.

I felt him kick his legs and realized he was getting his shoes and pants off. Trailing kisses down to his neck, I sucked at the skin there, barely realizing when Kyle was free of his clothes and was carrying me to my bedroom.

“You gonna mark me, Baby?” he asked me, his voice low.

I nodded, letting him lay me on my bed, watching as he crawled over me. “Is that ok?”

In the light of the street lamp outside, Kyle’s smile was sexy and sultry. “You can mark me anywhere and in anyway. I’m yours.”

My breath hitched in my chest and my stomach clenched. And in the middle of that, a single doubt raised in my head. “But you had to wear a shirt after Deonna scratched you. If I do that, you’ll have to wear a shirt again. I know you don’t like to do that.”

As ever, Kyle immediately put my fears to rest. Crouching over me, our legs tangled together, his arms braced beside my body, he shook his head. “No one made me wear that shirt, Syd. That was my choice. I didn’t want anyone to see those scratches, let alone Deonna. She holds no interest to me. You, on the other hand,” he leaned down, lightly kissing the side of my mouth. “Your marks I want the whole world to see.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him down on top of me, squirming when he tried to take some of his weight off me with his elbows. “No, Kyle. I like it. Makes me feel safe.”

He stopped moving and peered into my eyes. “I don’t think I could ever tell you no, Syd.”

We were chest to chest, body to body, our arms wrapped around each other, and the moment felt so right. Giggling a bit, I nudged his nose with mine playfully. “Trust me, you’ll tell me no a lot.”

“Not tonight, Baby. Whatever you want, you’ll get.” His hands were running over my arms and then down to my sides, and the feeling of my nipples brushing against his chest as he moved had my body on fire.

“Know what I want?” I asked and when he shook his head, I continued, “Remember when you told me you talked a lot during sex?”

Kyle laughed. “This isn’t proof? Instead of being inside of you we’re chitchatting.”

Grinning, I tilted my head to the side a little. “Show me then.”

In an instant, Kyle’s entire demeanor went from soft and playful to intense and focused. His hazel eyes turned into a dark green and his eyebrows furrowed, and I shivered hard in anticipation.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fire becomes a full blown inferno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its here! It finally happened! 32 chapters later on this epic slow burn, and SMUT is delivered! 
> 
> But the story doesn't end here, rest assured, more is to come. Hope you enjoy and thanks for coming along on the Slow Burn Express!

Rearing back out of my arms, Kyle crouched on his haunches and began tugging my sweats and underwear off. “Come on, Baby, let me see that pretty pussy. I can’t wait to get my mouth on it.”

My clothes went flying through the air and Kyle’s hands were on my ankles, ready to pry my legs apart when his head flew up and our eyes met. “If I go too fast or scare you, stop me, ok Baby?”

“I’m fine, Kyle, I want this,” I reassured him.

With that, he finally settled between my legs, his hands running up and down my skin, over my stomach, to my breasts. It was like he had to make sure I was still there, and honestly, I felt the same way. If I woke up from this dream now, I’d be devastated.

I wasn’t shy with my body, but Kyle’s perusal made me want to cover up. He saw _everything_. Every inch of my skin, every thought in my head. I was bare in more ways than one with him, and it was intimidating in the best sense of the word.

I only had a second to take a breath before Kyle’s mouth met my core and I lost the air I had taken in. He devoured me in a way Pete never had before. I hated the comparison, especially in this moment, but it was also important. Pete’s way of doing things was for his own satisfaction, a means to an end. He could tell me he loved my taste until he was blue in the face, but the truth was, he used my body as a weapon against me.

Kyle’s eyes were closed, his expression rapturous, arms wrapped around my legs, holding me to his mouth. I was gasping as his tongue explored me, inside, outside, suckling at my clit. He was everywhere, his moans vibrating through my body. My hands were gripping his forearms, nails biting into his skin.

He detached from me to lick and bite my thighs. “The sounds you make are so sexy.” And then he was right back at my core, this time he unwrapped an arm from my leg and added a finger, gently but persistently pushing into my hole. “So wet,” he muttered.

“Kyle,” I moaned, “another one, please.”

He hummed against my clit and more wetness flooded out of me. He added another finger, rubbing the sides of my walls, opening me up for him. “I’m big, Baby. Did you realize? I gotta stretch you out so I don’t hurt you.”

My legs were shaking. “Hurt me, it’s fine, please. Please Kyle, I need you.”

“Oh, you beg so prettily. But no. I don’t want to hurt you. So be patient.”

“I thought you couldn’t tell me no,” I whined, my hips shifting in response to his moving fingers. He only chuckled and kept going.

How could he be so calm? My body was on fire, my heart pounding in my chest. My hands that previously had been digging into his arms were now gripping the sheets on either side of me, my knuckles white as he began rhythmically fingering me.

“Condom?” he asked out of nowhere.

I waved in the general direction of my nightstand. “In the drawer, but I’m clean. Got tested after-,” I hesitated. I didn’t want to say _his_ name out loud.

“Get it. I’m not stopping.” God, why did that sound so fucking sexy? Raising my head to look at him between my legs, Kyle caught my eye. “And I told you, I’m cumming in this pussy. If you don’t want to get pregnant, get a condom.”

Good point, I conceded. Twisting the upper half of my body, I slid the drawer open and grabbed a packet. As I did, Kyle’s questing fingers found my g-spot and I groaned loudly, pressing the back of my head on the bed. I was making whimpering noises, the condom clenched in my fist.

A lick to my clit was my only warning before he pulled his fingers out and stuck them in his mouth, licking my juices away. “Fuck, your taste could make me cum right now.” He got up on his knees, took the packet from me and ripped it up before swiftly rolling the item on. “Ready?”

“Wait.” Ignoring his look of concern, I sat up and crawled up to him. I knew with his size, I would need to be in control, at least in the beginning. “Let me start,” I whispered to him.

Kyle watched me as I got to my feet and wrapped my arms around his neck, dropping down in a squat over his condom covered cock. He seemed to understand what I was doing and pulled me close so I could use his shoulders as leverage. “Slide down on my dick, Baby, take me in you.”

The first brush of the head against my clit nearly had me cumming right there, but I held off. Like Kyle, I was waiting for that perfect moment. Aligning myself, I slowly sat down, holding in the gasp at the delicious burn as he stretched me. He wouldn’t understand the feeling of euphoria I had and would pull me off of him if he thought he was hurting me.

“Ooooh,” I moaned, my head buried in his neck. He was just too wide, and I couldn’t get all of him in me. But I felt so full, so utterly complete. “So good, so good.” Every place our bodies touched felt like licks of fire.

Even as his hand rubbed at my bare back, soothing me, his hips began to move, slowly at first, watching my face for pain when I sat up to look at him. I kept my expression clear, letting the overwhelming heat and desperation cloud my face. I knew the discomfort would ease, but not if he stopped.

He leaned back for a moment, moving his legs so that he was sitting on the bed, my legs around his waist, never breaking stride. “You look so beautiful, Sydney. Flushed skin, sweat, your body trembling.”

Riding him, meeting him thrust for thrust, I bit my lip, my eyes begging him. “This was worth it, wasn’t it?” I asked him.

His smile appeared, confident and smug, and I felt more juices leak from my core. “Yeah, Baby, this was worth it. Waiting until you were ready was worth it. _You_ are worth it. Now come on, make some more of those pretty sounds I love.” His hands grasped my waist and lead the way, sawing into me and brushing my clit with the top of his dick with every withdrawal.

I couldn’t keep my lips off of his skin, the need to taste him so primal that the urge took over. My hands squeezed his shoulders, scratched them with my nails, trying to hold on as I soared in Kyle’s arms.

He whirled us around so that I was flat on my back and he was on top of me, his hands in my hair kissing me for all he was worth as he drove his shaft into me and breakneck speeds. I was gasping and moaning against his lips, intent on tasting him forever. This was everything I ever needed. Kyle was everything I ever needed, and I didn’t want to let him go.

“Kyle, Kyle, oh my god,” I panted against his mouth, “please!”

Moving his lips to my ear, he harshly whispered, “Do you wanna cum? Huh, Baby? Wanna cum on my dick?”

My hips were pinned beneath his, ankles locked at the small of his back, and my nails were raking across the skin of his shoulders. I was a rubber band so close to snapping. “Yes, please!” I begged.

A single twist of his hips had his shaft brushing my clit and I exploded around him, stars dancing behind my closed eye lids and I screamed. “That’s it, Syd. That’s it. Fuck, I’m going to crave that sound forever.”

I couldn’t breathe, and I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay in this moment, reveling in the bliss I found myself in. Kyle wasn’t done with me yet.

He pulled out of me, ignoring my protest, and flipped me over onto my stomach. Knowing what he wanted, I got up onto my hands and knees, tossing him a flirty smile over my shoulder as I wiggled my ass in his direction.

Growling, he slapped my buttcheek and slid back into me. I could feel his restraint, he was still worried about hurting me. “Fuck me, Kyle.”

His hips snapped into mine and I rocked forward, but he grabbed my hair in his fist and pulled me back to meet his next thrust. Aftershocks from my orgasm were rocking though me, squeezing his cock. “Shit, Baby, that feels so good.”

I agreed wholeheartedly, but I couldn’t respond. I listened as he chanted my name, groaned when I tilted my hips more, and rambled about how much I meant to him. I was drifting, completely content to wait and let him finish, zoned out in my happy little world. But Kyle was having none of that.

Using my hair as a handle, he tugged me up so that my back was against his chest. The hand that had previously been in my hair came around my waist and delved into my folds, pressing my clit. Behind my ear, Kyle snarled, “Once wasn’t enough. I need your cum on my dick again, Baby. Cum with me, I’m close.”

My body was alive again, focused on Kyle’s words and his strokes. I felt dizzy, my body climbing higher and higher, the knot in my stomach growing and growing, and I started to shake. At first I thought it was from the movement of our bodies, but the feeling spread outwards from that ball in my stomach, through my torso, out to my arms and legs, making my fingers and toes tingle. All of that couldn’t distract me from the electrical charge of Kyle’s cock slamming into me from behind, nailing my g-spot at the same time his thumb rubbed over my clit.

Shrieking, I raked my nails down his arms, my attempts to hold on thwarted by the release of tension radiating through my veins.

“Fuck!” Kyle cursed, and his hands moved to my hips, holding tightly as his movements began to slow and stutter inside of me. “God. Damn. It!” With one final push, he came to a stop, and slumped forward against my back. Taking his weight, I pressed my hands against my bedroom wall, keeping us upright as we panted together, sweat making our bodies slip and slide against each other.

Slowly, Kyle seemed to come back to himself, and he kissed my shoulder and neck, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tight to his chest. “Ok?”

I smiled, more to myself than to him. “Yes. Perfect.”

He brushed a hand across my chest, just feeling me, and I shivered. My pussy was still rhythmically squeezing him, my legs clenching as I tried to calm down. Straightening up behind me, he eased out of me, both of us moaning in protest. He had felt amazing inside of me, and now I just felt utterly empty.

“Sorry, Baby. It had to be done,” he teased. “Lay down while I go lock the door, ok?”

I had forgotten about the rest of the world. As he slid off the bed I watched as he pulled the condom off and tied it, throwing it away in the bathroom garbage can before walking naked through the house, turning lights off and locking the door. I did as instructed, climbing under the covers and resting my head on the pillow, waiting for him to come back.

He wasn’t gone long, returning with a bottle of water in his hand. “Drink.”

Sitting up, I gave him a fake scowl as I took the bottle from him. “Bossy all of a sudden.”

Smirking, he climbed in bed next to me. “I need you to stay hydrated so I can fuck you all night long.”

My whole body clenched in response to that, almost making me choke on the sip of water I had taken. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I gave him a baleful look. “Please?”

He chuckled and took the bottle away from me and put it on the nightstand. Pulling me into his arms, his turned me so that my back was to his chest and he buried his nose in my hair. “Oh, I’m gonna, but first, a nap. Come here and rub that ass on my dick, Baby.”

Groaning, I snuggled closer to him. “Your words make me weak.”

I felt him shake his head, moving my hair from side to side as his hand came up to cup my breast. “No, Sydney. Nothing makes you weak.”

And for the first time in a long time, I believed that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOKMARK IT!


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

I woke up the next morning to the feel of Kyle’s lips against my neck and his dick sliding into me from behind. Moaning, I kept my eyes closed, but shifted my hips to let him know I was awake. Light slipped in through the blinds, slowly illuminating our bodies twisting beneath the sheets. At first, we didn’t speak, we had said everything we needed to say during the nighttime hours. Kyle had taken me over and over, not letting me sleep for long before he was rousing me and kissing me silly.

There were zero complaints on my end.

Because he was _there_. He hadn’t disappeared during the night. Every time I opened my eyes and saw his face was like a minor miracle. I was falling dangerously for Kyle, a man who kept his word and stood by my side. I had fallen for worse.

In my ear, Kyle’s voice was gruff, more than likely from growling and moaning all night. “How are you still so damn right?”

Biting my lip against the stupid smile that wanted to emerge, I gripped my pillow in my hands. “It’s kickboxing day with Aleister. I’m going to be so sore!”

“Want me to stop?” he panted.

“No,” I responded, just as out of breath as he was as my orgasm started to build. “Never.”

Kyle’s hand pulled my leg over his so that I was spread wide, and then trailed up my stomach, between my breasts, to my neck, holding me against him tightly. His thrusts were getting more forceful, and I couldn’t stop the endless moaning coming from my throat. “I volunteered to help with promo class. That was stupid. I could be here, inside you all morning.”

Something was scratching at my side, pinned beneath me and the bed, but Kyle’s words distracted me from the discomfort. “So dumb,” I agreed, earning a dark chuckle from him.

And then no more words were spoken as we got lost in each other, Kyle turning me over and letting me ride him until I came on his dick. He was right behind me, his handsome face twisted in ecstasy as he spilled into the condom. Slumping against his chest, I looked over and discovered the item scratching me was actually multiple items. Packets of condoms, empty and not, were littered all over the bed. The used condoms themselves had ended up in the garbage can Kyle had moved from the bathroom to beside the bed.

Panting, looking at the evidence of the night before, I muttered against Kyle’s chest, “We’ll need more condoms if we’re gonna keep this up. You almost used up my supply.”

He was running a hand through my hair, lulling me back into a relaxed state. “I’ll pick some up today.”

Laying there, on top of Kyle’s body, his dick still in me, the quietness of the morning seemed to enfold me. Small things like tangling our fingers together, the soft kiss to the top of my head, the sound of his breathing, all so simple, yet it rocked me in a deeply profound way. This was what I had been missing. More than the sex, which was damn fantastic, these moments were what I had yearned for, but didn’t know how to achieve.

My phone buzzing broke the spell, and I reached over to grab it, refusing to leave the warmth of Kyle’s arms. “Hello?”

_“So you are alive? I wasn’t sure with how Kyle ran out of here last night. I was about 80% sure he was gonna spank your ass.”_

“Good morning Ethan,” I looked at Kyle and rolled my eyes. Ethan had a penchant for the dramatic. See: Golfing.

_“Are you in any shape to drive me to the airport? I don’t want to pay for long term parking.”_

Slowly, I sat up, watching Kyle’s lips pinch together to hold back his moan. I might have added a little extra squeeze in there, just to tease him. His eyes darkened in warning, and I smiled back brightly. “Admit it E, you just want to know what happened last night.”

_“Oh, I bet I know what happened, but ok, you caught me. I want the details. My plane leaves at 11:40am. I need you to come get me pretty soon.”_

Rocking my hips, I grinned at Kyle when he pinched my thigh mouthing _stop_ as I continued to slide on his shaft. “No worries. I just need to shower and I’ll be there. Bye!” I hung up without waiting for Ethan to respond, shrieking with laughter as Kyle gripped my waist and flipped us over so that he hovered over me.

“Damn minx! Trying to cause trouble? I was a nano second from ripping you off my dick and shoving my face in your pussy just to teach you a lesson!” He kissed me deeply and I nibbled his lip playfully.

Still giggling, I shrugged. “Ethan said he wanted the details. He would have just gotten a first hand account.”

Swatting my thigh he jumped off the bed, ignoring my moan of protest. “If you’ve got time you really should soak for a bit. It will ease the soreness.” Grabbing his clothes from the living room where we dropped them last night, he headed to the bathroom. “But I’m first. Gotta get to the PC for class.”

I watched him as he moved around. I loved the fact that he was so comfortable in my space, and that he tried to take care of me by suggesting little things like a bath. It made me feel cared for.

I heard the water turn on in the shower and then Kyle’s head popped out from around the corner. “Next time, I’m fucking you in the shower.”

And then he was gone, the door closed and he started humming. Smiling, I collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Today was going to be the best day ever. There was nothing that could mess up my good mood.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ....and a confrontation....

Arriving at the PC, I entered through the lobby, surprised to find Candice waiting for me. She skipped to my side, linking our arms together as she steered me away from the gym, my original destination, towards the back offices.

“Candice, what-?” I tried to ask, but she shushed me.

“Something happened today.” She was dressed in her workout gear, but it didn’t look like she had even broken a sweat yet. “Something you need to see.”

Confused, I allowed her to lead me down the hallway. Honestly, I thought she had heard about Kyle and I, and since I had spent two hours with Ethan giving him vague details about what happened the previous night, I assumed E had started texting people as soon as I was out of eyesight. But her demeanor was concerned, maybe a little stressed, her grip hard on my arm.

She stopped outside of the production office and opened the door. To call it an office was being generous. It was smaller than my bathroom at home, a little bigger than a janitor’s closet. The room was dark, with a single low watt light bulb recessed into the ceiling, one whole wall filled with monitors and computers, and there were two desk chairs.

Candice pushed me inside, looked both ways down the hall, and then stepped inside behind me, closing the door. There wasn’t much room to maneuver so I sat down. “Girl, what has you so worked up?”

Sighing, she sat down next to me, her fingers flying on the buttons, pulling up video. “Kyle was helping promo class today. He got an unexpected visitor.” I wanted to ask who, but she kept talking. “At first it was fine, and no one thought anything about it, but it quickly spiraled out of control.”

On the screen directly in front of me, the video she pulled up was frozen at the beginning. There were two cameras, as Candice showed me when she cued it up on the next screen. I was looking at Kyle at the front of the class. One camera was directed only at him and the NXT banner behind him. It was a wide shot, with space for whoever was going to be in the promo to stand next to him. The second camera showed the whole room from the back, which wasn’t very big, enough for a dozen or so chairs. About eight or nine of those chairs were filled with recruits, newbies just starting at NXT.

“What is this Candice? What are you showing me Kyle’s class? I mean, he’s great to look at, thanks, but what’s the point?” I injected a little humor in my voice to cover up my confusion.

“Watch,” was all she said as she pressed play.

Both screens showed Kyle mid-sentence spoke to the class. “—so it’s important to play off each other. Facial expressions are crucial in promos. You can say the words, but if you aren’t feeling them, the camera will catch that and transmit your lackluster performance to the whole world.”

A distinctly British voice sounded from off camera, near where I remembered the door to be. I would know that voice in my grave, it haunted me for too long. “Why don’t we show them how it’s done, O’Reilly? Show them what it’s like to play off someone who has no facial expressions.”

I looked to the screen that showed a closer version of Kyle’s face. He looked stoic, his eyes locked on the person I couldn’t see yet. Pete Dunne. Pete’s tone was a challenge to Kyle, and while on the surface it sounded nothing more than that, I caught the thread of tension in Pete’s voice.

Kyle shrugged and Pete moved into view, walking along the wall until he was at the front of the room, next to Kyle. “Sure, man. Do you want to start?”

I was tense, but I wasn’t sure why. Candice sat quietly by my side, her eyes watching me, worry clouding her expression. What had happened in this class that Candice knew about, but wanted me to see for myself?

The recruits were whispering amongst themselves at first, and I didn’t blame them. Kyle O’Reilly and Pete Dunne were about to put on a promo clinic, and they had literal front row seats. Pete wasn’t known for being a talker, but it seemed for the benefit of the class, he was going to make an exception.

Squaring his shoulders and tipping his chin up, he glared at Kyle. “So, you want what I have, huh?”

I could see Kyle’s mind working quickly, trying to figure out Pete’s line of thinking. His posture was relaxed, bored, but he was in character and playing off the situation. “I can’t think of anything you have that I would want.”

Pete shifted slightly, just a replacement of his feet, and he snorted. “That’s not what I see, mate. At every turn, you’ve taken what’s belonged to me. I bet you even want my WWE United Kingdom Championship.”

My eyebrows furrowed, watching the screen intently. That line from Pete sounded off. Weak, as if he was trying to come across as smug but failed. I had never known Pete to fail at being cocky.

Kyle rolled his eyes dramatically, refusing to really look at Pete, keeping the uninterested façade going. “If I wanted that title, I’d just take it.”

“Like you took my leftovers?” Pete accused. At first, the line confused me, and watching the newbies in the crowd, they felt the same. What in the world was Pete talking about? Someone stole his lunch or something? What a weird thing to bring up during a promo. Maybe, I thought to myself, Pete was just trying to throw Kyle off, make him break character.

Kyle finally turned his head to look at Pete. He was silent for a moment, reading whatever expression he could see on Pete’s face that I couldn’t. “I don’t take leftovers.”

Glancing at Candice, I gave her a helpless look. “What is happening? Why are you showing me these two butchering a promo class? This is like, second-hand embarrassing.”

Candice shook her head. “Those aren’t mistakes. Keep watching.”

Frustrated, I returned my attention to the screens in front of me. Kyle and Pete were finally face to face, standing across from each other, tension starting to build. Kyle was no longer being aloof, and Pete had a sneer spreading across his face.

Pete was talking now. “—how fitting it is, then, that you happened to come along at just the right moment, isn’t it? Pick those leftovers up, dust them off, get them looking good enough to eat again. You are either incredibly lucky or a damn opportunist.”

Whatever Kyle had heard in Pete’s voice that I didn’t notice set him off. Stepping up to Pete, getting right in his face. He only had about two inches on Pete, but he made it look like a mile. “Call her a leftover one more time and I’m going to break your face,” he growled.

Pushing his chest out to bump Kyle’s, Pete just grinned at him. “Discarded and pushed away, yet you scooped her up like she was a piece of gold. You like fixing up old toys, do you?”

Kyle was having none of it. “She got rid of you, if I remember correctly, Dunne. Did that hurt your ego? Is that the real issue here? Your ego is bruised, and you can’t stand the fact that she’s happy?”

It was in that moment that I realized who the leftovers were. Me. As soon as that dawned on me, I felt my hands begin to shake. Trying to hide them, I tucked them under my legs. My eyes refused to leave the screens in front of me, and I saw Coach Bloom appear on the right side of the frame, urgently whispering to a recruit in the second row, and then pointing to the person next to him.

Pete’s laugh was bitter. “She belongs to me and I don’t share, O’Reilly,” Pete sneered, catching my attention again. The two of them were still posturing, bumping into each other, their fists clenched at their sides.

Kyle snorted. “Share? You just said you threw her away. So which is it?  Is she trash you want back, or is she a leftover you want nothing to do with? Sounds to me like you don’t even know. I bet it’s just driving you insane that she doesn’t need you, doesn’t it? You can’t manipulate Sydney anymore, man. Even if I’m not in the picture, she’s done with you.”

It was the first time my name was audibly said, and I looked at the group of people in the crowd, trying to see if I knew any of them. What I found was, that while I was distracted by the arguing, Coach Bloom had been sneaking the recruits slowly out of the room. I could think of only one reason for that.

“You think you know Syd, Kyle, but you don’t. She is a career screw up, a weak-minded individual who craves drama and angst to thrive. It gives her something to worry over. She is unwantable, Kyle. From ex boyfriends to foster parents, she is a drifter, and no one wants her. She isn’t good enough to be kept. Sydney isn’t the type of girl you settle down with. She’s a plaything, _my_ plaything—”

Before Pete could continue to tear my whole world apart, Kyle’s fist smashed into his face. Blood spurted from Pete’s nose and mouth. But Kyle didn’t stop at just one punch. Grabbing Pete’s collar, he used the momentum from his hits to bring him back for another and another and another. “You piece of shit! You are the reason she was drowning a bottle!”

Pete’s hands came up and broke Kyle’s hold, and he threw one good punch at Kyle’s face. Kyle turned his face at the last second, and the blow landed on his temple. I gasped, my hands coming up to grip the desk. Kyle didn’t seem fazed, in fact, he took the hit then twisted his upper body, cinching Pete in a headlock as he took him down to the ground, out of view behind the chairs.

Finally, I heard multiple voices yelling, and just as people began pouring into the room to break up the fight, the camera was turned off.

“Wait! What? What happened?” Turning in the chair, I looked at Candice. “Where’s Kyle? Is he ok?”

She grabbed my flailing arms, pinning them to my side. “He’s fine. A few bruises, but Kyle is fine.”

I was shaking, I could feel it. Beside me, the video was automatically rewinding to the start and replaying. Candice reached over to stop it, but I put my hand on hers, allowing to video to play, rewind, play, and rewind. I must have watched the video four or five times, and Candice just sat beside me quietly.

What had happened to Pete? What turned him into this bitter, angry monster? I didn’t believe that he truly wanted me back, and the word _plaything_ kept echoing in my head. The Pete Dunne I had first met was funny, aloof, stubborn, and driven. Over the last few months, that Pete had evaporated. He almost seemed betrayed and vindictive, but why? We had split up, mutually, and while it was hard on me, it seemed it had been harder on Pete. I just wished I could understand.

Indicating to Candice that she could turn the video off, I sighed. “What a mess I created.”

She was silent for a moment. “While I think you were involved, I don’t think you can blame yourself.”

“How did you find out about it?” I asked her.

“Johnny and I got here right at the tail end of it. It looked like something off TV, crowds of people yelling and pulling the two of them apart right here in the hallway. Pete was taken to the trainer’s room and Kyle is still in Coach’s office.”

Casting her a sidelong look, I was suspicious. “And what made you think to look at the tape?”

Candice beamed at me, no innocence in her expression. “Listen, I’m nosy, ok?” she laughed. “I knew that for the two of them to be so unprofessional to come to blows, it had to be juicy.”

I chuckled darkly. “Well that’s true, to be sure.” Pausing, I blankly looked back at the screen. It was blue, illuminating the room in an odd glow. “He called me unwantable. A plaything. And a leftover.”

Candice snorted, a disgusted look on her face. “He’s jealous, Syd. And by the sound of it, lonely as Hell and regretting his decision to let you go. That’s on him. He had multiple chances.”

She was right, so I nodded. It still didn’t take the sting of the words away though. “You know, I woke up this morning thinking today was the best day ever, and there wasn’t a single thing that could ruin it. Boy was I wrong.”

She shrugged. “Nothing has changed, Syd. Kyle is still head over heels for you, bragging to everyone who would listen this morning that you agreed to be his girlfriend. I wish you could have seen his smile. It was like it was pasted on his face, he couldn’t get rid of it. He even got Shayna Baszler to smile. You know she thinks he’s an idiot, so her smiling at him is a big deal.”

I bit back my own grin, but just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. “Well, that probably is what set Pete off. By confirming a relationship with me, Kyle pissed him off.”

Candice stood and I took that as my cue to do the same. “Well, whatever it was, I figured that it was best for you to see it firsthand than to try to get a broken story from a lot of different people.”

I thanked her. “More than likely I wouldn’t have understood what in the Hell had happened.”

We left the dark room behind and I took off to find Kyle. I was sure Aleister was going to be pissed at me for being late to our session, but there was no way I would be able to concentrate without finding out if my boyfriend was truly ok.

Stopping dead in my tracks, I was rocked. _My boyfriend._ It was the first time I had even thought those words, and they felt odd, but comfortable, especially in the context of Kyle. It fit, and it was right.

I arrived at Coach Bloom’s office and knocked, hearing his gruff voice telling me to come in. Opening the door, I found him behind his desk, and Kyle in the chair in front of him. I leaned on the doorjam, giving Coach a weak smile. “Just checking on him. I heard there was a battle royale in Promo Class.”

Coach snorted, waving his pen towards Kyle. “Take him off my hands, would you? And keep him out of the trainer’s room until Dunne leaves.”

Nodding, I watched as Kyle stood, grinning at Coach before shaking his hand and following me out of the room. As soon as the door was closed, Kyle grabbed me and wrapped me in his arms. I wasn’t complaining, burying my face against his chest.

“You ok?” I mumbled.

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, kissing the top of my head. “It was just a tussle.”

I wanted to snort and roll my eyes, but somehow I managed not to. Kyle had busted Pete’s face, that wasn’t what I would have called a tussle. Looking up at him, my chin on his pecs, I bit my lip. “It feels a little weird, but thank you for defending my honor, I think.”

Kyle chuckled, peering down at me. “Baby, you don’t need anyone to defend you. Pete was just running his mouth and I let him get to me.”

I pressed my lips together. Obviously Kyle didn’t know I had seen the tape, had heard all the things Pete had said about me. “Whatever. Just, thank you.”

Tucking me beneath his shoulder, my arm around his waist, Kyle lead me down the hall, back out to the lobby and into the gym. “We better get you to Aleister.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Little Red Dress

Aleister was not impressed with my reason for being late, and gave me Hell and extra sets as punishment. I was sore from my night with Kyle and distracted as I pondered over Pete and Kyle’s argument earlier. My form was all wrong, irritating Aleister. No matter how patient he had been with me before, even The Zen Master had his limits. Kyle just sat against the wall, and amused expression on his face as he watched me spar with the punching bag, and then with Aleister.

I didn’t see Pete that day, and while my impulse gremlin wanted answers, I managed to squash him down long enough to realize there was nothing Pete could say that would ever explain the situation to my liking.

Finishing with Aleister, I excused myself to head to the locker room to shower and change. Just as I was about to push through the door, Kyle grabbed my elbow and hauled me off to the side. “Kyle, what-?”

He shushed me, pulling me close to his body, not caring I was dripping in sweat. “Let’s go on a date tonight.”

I protested his closeness, not wanting him to smell me. “I’m gross, Kyle.” He rolled his eyes, but stepped back. “A date sounds good.”

“Dinner?” he asked, as if I would ever say no to anything he suggested.

I smiled at him. “Dinner it is.”

Chucking, Kyle pulled me into his arms so swiftly that I didn’t get a chance to object and kissed me soundly. “I’ll pick you up at 7, Babe.” With that, he kissed my cheek and walked out of the gym, a spring in his step and a smile on his face.

God, saying no to Kyle O’Reilly was going to be impossible, wasn’t it?

I rinsed off in the locker room showers and put on clean clothes. As I was packing my gym bag, Deonna walked in, stopping short when she saw me. Gathering herself, she gave me a nod and then sat down on the bench near her locker.

“I saw Pete. He’ll have a couple of black eyes and he needed a stitch in his inner lip, but he’ll live,” she commented like someone had asked her. She leaned over, her long black ponytail sliding over her shoulder, to untie her shoes.

“Hmm,” I responded, noncommittal.

She continued. “He hasn’t been doing very well.”

Slamming my locker door shut, I whirled around. “I’m not sure why I should care, Deonna. It’s clear what he thinks of me, and if you have questions about that, you should go watch the promo class tape from this morning. I’m not wasting any more of my time on Pete Dunne.”

I stomped out of the room and headed to my car. Deonna was hot and cold. I still hadn’t figured her out, but like my resolution regarding Pete, I wasn’t going to spend my time mulling her issues over. I didn’t care. Those two had held me back in more ways than one in the last few months, and I wasn’t going to grant them any more of my time.

Just as I was opening the back door to my car to put my bag in, I heard my name being called and I whirled around.

“Syd!” Coach Bloom was making his way across the parking lot towards me. “I’m glad I caught you.”

Closing the door, I shaded my eyes with my hand. The hot Florida sun was beating down on us and I had to squint to protect my eyes. “What’s up Coach?”

“You are going on a road trip this weekend. I need a replacement for the Texas loop and it’s you.”

As always, Bloom was a man of short, gruff words. No frills. No panache. Just direct to the point. “Wait,” I responded, shocked. “Like, to wrestle or to be roadie?”

He snorted, putting his hands on his hips and giving me a stern look. “I’m not sending you to Texas to be a roadie. You’ll be working with MJ Jenkins. Impress me.”

And with that, he walked off, leaving me boiling in the heat, my mouth hung open, and my stomach doing flips. I was back on the show schedule? On an out of state loop to boot? “Woot!” I yelled, jumping a little in the air and pumping my fist. Frantically I looked around me to make sure no one saw my little celebration, and finding the coast was clear, I did a dance next to my car.

On the way home, I called Ethan, telling him my good news and getting all the juicy gossip about the Raw roster. Our conversation was short, and when we hung up, I was momentarily sad that he wouldn’t be with me during my first out of state NXT Loop.

The first thing I did after I dropped my bag in the foyer was strip all my clothes off and climb in the tub. Kyle was right, the soak was especially what I needed. I lit some candles, turned the lights out, poured rose oil in the water, and just closed my eyes. The downtime was precious, and I felt as if my life had been on fast forward over the weekend. So much had happened that it all seemed like a blur.

Afterwards, I spent a lot of time in my closet, trying to figure out what to wear. It wasn’t as if I dated a lot, in fact, it had been years since my last official date, so my choices were limited. Finally, I called Candice and asked for help.

She arrived an hour later, four dresses in her arms, and a makeup bag in her hand. “I’m prepared,” she joked when I eyeballed her. I laughed and the two of us made our way back to my room, where she began holding up dresses for me.

They all looked amazing, but my heart thumped wildly when she held up a red, spaghetti strapped dress. The straps crisscrossed the back, leaving the skin bare, and the dress swooped dangerously low. “My god,” I gasped.

Candice grinned. “I know. This dress might cause pregnancy.”

I laughed, but stood to walk over to her, running the fabric through my hands. It was soft, the bodice sequined and coming up into a halter top. The skirt flared out and I couldn’t wait to do a few twirls in it in front of the mirror. “I have the shoes for this too,” I muttered, almost to myself.

“Awesome. Ok, let’s get your hair and makeup done and then we’ll put this bad boy on!”

I hadn’t intended for Candice to help me get ready, but her enthusiasm was infectious, and truthfully, I was glad for her company. She was better at the makeup than I was, and the sexy little French twist she pulled my hair up in was better than anything I could have done by myself.

By the time I stepped into the sinful red dress and slid on my silver heels, I felt amazing. Candice stood behind me and her reflection in the mirror was one of pride. Her hands come up to cover her mouth and she whispered, “Oh my gosh, you look fantastic! You might not make it to dinner!”

Laughing, I twirled around like I had dreamed of earlier, loving how the skirt flowed around my thighs. “This dress is out of this world! There is no way I’m not going to show it off!”

She waved her hand, turning to start packing up her make up case. “Keep it. It’s a bit too saucy for me.”

Before I could protest too much, she turned around a grinned at me.

“Look, once Kyle sees you in that dress, his brain is going to start spinning, and I guarantee you, at the end of the night, I’m not going to want it back anyway.”

Groaning, I covered my face, blushing hard. “Oh my god, Candice!”

She laughed, pulling my hands away. “Don’t smear your makeup. Kyle is gonna do that later.”

“Candice!” Chastising her wasn’t working. All she did was fall into giggles and continue to pack up. Picking up her stuff, she gave me a hug, listened to my profuse thank you’s, and left.

Looking at the clock, I saw I only had about ten minutes left, so I dug in my closet for a wrap, finding a silver one to match my shoes. As I was closing the door, I heard Kyle’s voice from the living room.

“Sydney, it’s me! I ran into Candice on the way up and she said she left the door unlocked for me. Are you ready?”

“Be right there!” I yelled back. Taking a final glance in the mirror, I huffed out a breath. I wasn’t one to brag, and vanity always made me squirm a bit, but honestly, I thought I looked amazing. Biting my lip, I wondered what Kyle’s reaction would be.

Opening my bedroom door I walked out, seeing Kyle with his back to me, fiddling with his phone.

“I’m ready,” I said, causing him to turn around. He was dressed in black trousers, dress shoes, and a blue button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I felt my mouth go dry and I had to pull myself together quickly.

“Jesus Christ!” He breathed, his voice sounded like it had gotten stuck in his throat. “No wonder Candice told me to wrap it up tonight.”

“Kyle!” I exclaimed, the blush returning to my heated face.

He was in front of me in an instant, his arms wrapping around my waist as he tugged me towards him. “I can’t help it, you look amazing. I’m hungry right now, let’s stay in and I’ll eat you instead.”

My arms snaked around his neck, and I pecked his lips. Feeling a little full of myself, I cocked my eyebrow at him. “Like I told Candice, this dress deserves to be seen, and you are going to take me out like you promised.”

“Hmm, if you say so.” He grinned at me and pulled back, taking my hand in his as he walked us out the front door.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date Night Continues, and that Little Red Dress turns Kyle into an animal. Rawr.

Dinner was magical. There was a small restaurant off Lake Virginia that was private, little fairy lights hung across the ceiling, and strands of ivy encircling the posts. Kyle was sweet and attentive, and while he was always flirty, we talked about things that interested the both of us, even while he tried to undress me with his eyes, and sneak kisses to my neck.

Truth be told, I wanted to pull him into our secluded corner and pin him down. My panties were ruined, and it was almost impossible to stop my thighs from clenching rhythmically as I watched Kyle eat his steak. It was so simple, but the movement of his arms, the way the shirt stretched across his chest, his sexy lips as he spoke, everything had my body on fire. For certain, I didn’t need the silver wrap I had brought with me.

During the car ride back to my apartment, my gaze was focused on my hand in Kyle’s, and the way he rubbed his thumb across my skin. It seemed like an absentminded gesture, habit perhaps, his true focus on the cars around him and the road in from of him.

“Kyle?”

“Hmm?”

“Why haven’t you ever taken me to your house?” I asked. The question had been bugging me for some time.

Quickly, he looked over at me, and then back to the road. “I’m not sure. I mean, you always seem comfortable at your place, so I just didn’t ask.”

“Oh.”

Squeezing my hand, he raised it to his lips, kissing the skin he could reach in the awkward angle. “We can go there right now, if you want.”

Impulse gremlin woke up and was in control before I could harness him. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Would I really though? Kyle wasn’t wrong, my apartment was my safe place. But, on the other hand, I had been sheltered just a little too long.

“My house it is,” Kyle grinned over at me.

I let out a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding in. What did I expect? For Kyle to yell at me? To become suspicious? Like he was hiding something from me? That was ridiculous. Kyle was an open book, and someone I was always comfortable around. There was no reason that should change now just because we were official.

Pulling into his driveway, I had to hold in my gasp. Kyle’s house wasn’t huge, but it was in a very nice subdivision, with a single garage, complete with landscaping and columns framing the front door. “Meh,” I joked, “it’s ok.”

Laughing, Kyle got out of the car and rounded the hood, coming to help me out of the passenger side like he had done at the restaurant. We walked hand in hand to the door where Kyle unlocked it and stepped back, allowing me to enter first.

The inside was as nice as the outside. The Spanish tile floors went from foyer, to living room, to the kitchen, where I saw white cabinets and granite countertops. A huge TV hung on the wall in the living room, and a sectional couch was placed in front of it. I could tell Kyle spent a lot of time there.

To the left were two doors, bedrooms I assume, and past the kitchen I could see another bedroom and bathroom.

“Wow, you live like this?” I teased, throwing him a look over my shoulder.

Grinning, he shrugged and closed the door. “I know, squalor.” Walking past me, he asked if I wanted something to drink.

“No, I’m ok, thanks.” Now that I was here, in his house, I had no idea what I was supposed to do, so I just stood awkwardly in the foyer. I watched as Kyle flicked on some lights and pulled a bottle of water out of his fridge before turning to me.

“You can sit down you know.”

Shuffling my feet, I looked down at the floor. “Um, can I use your restroom?”

A grin spread across his face. He knew how uncomfortable I was and it was amusing to him. Probably because I got myself in this situation. We could be at my apartment, in my comfort zone, but no, I had to make a point to myself. “Of course. My bedroom is right behind you. Use that bathroom.”

Excusing myself, I opened his bedroom door and steadfastly ignored the humungous king sized bed in front of me, and made a bee line for the bathroom. Upon turning on the light, I found a large glass enclosed shower with a tub adjacent to it. The floors and walls were tiled in light beige and the dual sinks and cabinet were stone gray.

Quickly using the bathroom, I washed my hands and checked my makeup. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, but I felt as if it was last night all over again. Gathering courage, I stepped out of the bathroom and back out into the living room, again avoiding the bed. What did one man need such a big ass bed for anyway?

Kyle was sitting on the couch, his phone in his hand, slumped casually against the cushions. He looked up at me with a mischievous look in his eye. “You gonna stand there all night or are you going to come sit next to me?”

I played with the fabric of my skirt. “I forgot to tell you Bloom booked me for the Texas loop.”

A slow, sexy smile spread across his face. “That’s great Baby, come ride my thigh.”

I sputtered, the joy on his face not matching with his sultry words. “I- what?”

“Come. Ride. My. Thigh,” he bounced one leg along with each word spoken, that glint still in his eye. “I feel like you deserve some spoiling. Your first NXT road trip and you look fantastic in that dress.”

There was no way I could stop myself, and really, I didn’t want to, but I found myself in front of Kyle before I had any recollection of actually moving. I stood there, staring down at him, my brain running a million miles a minute, taking in his calm exterior.

Kyle laid his phone down on the cushion beside him and reached up to pull on my wrist. I straddled his thigh, my eyes locked on his, looking for visual cues. But all I saw was that grin. “I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

I felt more than heard myself moan. It started deep in my core and traveled through my body so that it sounded ripped from my throat. My legs were shaking, my wrist still in his grip, my other hand gripping my dress for dear life.

“Have a seat,” he invited, his intentions clear.

Biting my lip, I looked down, watching as I slowly pressed myself firmly against his trousers. Immediately I rocked forward causing Kyle’s eyes to dart down towards my core and his jaw to clench. And in that moment, I knew I had him. The light bulb went off in my head and my entire mood changed, from shy and nervous to sexy and powerful. Kyle may have started it, but I was going to finish it.

Moaning low in my throat, I settled on his thigh and encircled his neck loosely with my arms. Kyle’s hands came up to trace my exposed legs, his eyes darting wildly up then down. “Do you want to watch me?” I whispered to him.

“Yes,” he breathed. “Rub yourself, Baby. Use my leg to get off. Grind on me. Let me see your pretty skin flush red.”

My dress draped over the place where I was seated, adding a sense of sultriness to the rocking of my hips. My panties were useless, wetness seeping out of me with every bump to my clit, and I could feel Kyle’s pants beginning to get soaked, sticking to my thighs.

“Kyle,” I groaned, my hands trailing down to his chest to grip his shirt. “Kiss me.”

“Oh, Baby, I want to, you know I do, but I can’t take my eyes off you right now.” His voice was low and husky, causing my pussy to weep more. The look on his face was mesmerized, watching every move I made as I rode his thigh closer and closer to orgasm.

“Please,” I begged.

“You beg so pretty. God you are amazing.”

I whined, continuing to beg with my eyes, my head tilting back just a little bit as my breathing became harder. Keeping a rhythm became my only purpose in life. My nails dug into Kyle’s chest as he rubbed the skin of my bare legs, whispering words I barely heard.

Suddenly, his hand moved up between us under my skirt and he found my cloth covered clit without hesitation, his thumb pressing firmly against me. “Fuck!” I shrieked, pulling him bodily towards me and smashing our chests together as I kissed him. I needed the contact, the feel of his skin against my heated flesh.

Against my lips, as his finger rubbed against me furiously, he moaned in my mouth. “Gonna cum, Baby? Are you all mine? Hmm? Say it. Who’s leg are you cumming on? Say it, Sydney.”

With a little extra pressure of his thumb, I reared back, my hair flying over my shoulders, my hips stuttering as I screamed in ecstasy, my orgasm ripping through me. “Kyle!”

“That’s fucking right, Baby,” he growled, pulling me firmly against his body as he flipped us over onto the cushions of the couch. His phone bounced off and hit the floor, but he didn’t even glance at it.

“Fuck me,” I mumbled as I began unbuttoning his shirt. My dress had flown up and now pooled around my middle. I managed to shove his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms in record time.

His hands came up between us and he undid his belt and zipper. Kyle’s eyes roved my body, both hidden by my dress and the skin that was exposed. “Oh, I’m going to ruin you.”

A desperate sob caught in my throat as I watched him pull a condom out of his pocket and roll it on. He didn’t wait a moment, he just yanked my panties to the side and slid into me. We moaned together, and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I wasn’t sure how I would ever get used to Kyle’s size, but I loved how full I felt, and the look of utter concentration on his face as he tried to hold back.

“Goddammit, Syd,” he groaned, feeling my pussy flutter around him as an orgasm rolled through me.

I was near to tears, and I pulled him down on top of me, melding my lips to his. I needed more, I needed something else, but I didn’t know what to ask for.

Kyle pulled almost completely out of me, causing me to whine, before he slammed back in. A flash of a grin crossed his face as I screamed out. “Kyle, Kyle, please. Please. Oh my god, please!”

He reached up and pulled out the pins that were holding my braid in place and then gripped my hair at the nape of my neck, tugging. My eyes snapped open, he had my full attention and even as he continued to pound into me, my pussy flooded again. That was what I needed. A little more assertion from my boyfriend, the look of animalistic heat in his beautiful eyes, locking me to him, body to body.

There was no controlling the sounds that came out of my mouth, my legs wrapping and unwrapping from around his middle, my hands struggling to find a place to rest on his arms. Kyle gripped my wrists in his free hand and pinned them above my head. I gasped, my torso arching, bringing my breasts closer to Kyle’s mouth.

He dipped his head down, licking and nibbling the sequins covering me, before he flicked his eyes up to me, released my hair, and ripped the bodice of the dress, causing it to flop down like a bib. “Shit!” I yelled. How was I going to explain to Candice that---

Kyle’s mouth on my nipple erased all thoughts from my head, his hand back in my hair, spearing through the strands and gripping tightly. I was pinned down, and I loved the weight of Kyle on top of me. His shaft continued to thrust in and out of me, his mouth worked at my chest, and his hand held mine firmly against the couch.

“I’m so close,” I moaned.

“Hmm,” he responded, looking up at me, rubbing his beard against my sensitive nipples. “I want to watch you come on my dick.”

Again, I scooped me up, flipping us back upright so that I was riding him. His hands found my hips, guiding my movements as mine dug into his short hair, nails scratching his scalp. My movements were frantic, the ball in my stomach settling lower and lower, and all I needed was Kyle’s kiss to push me over.

I leaned against him, not breaking stride, kissing Kyle deeply. A subtle squeeze of Kyle’s arms around me tipped me over and I groaned into his open mouth, which turned into a shriek as Kyle’s pace picked up. Our thighs slapped together, my red dress once again hiding were we were joined, but our eyes were locked on each other, and I watched as Kyle came undone inside of me, his eyes drooping and rolling into the back of his head as I squeezed his dick with my inner muscles.

“Fuck,” he moaned, collapsing against the cushion of the couch, pulling me down to lay on his chest. “I had it wrong. You ruined me.”

Speaking of ruined, I looked down at my destroyed dress. “I liked his outfit,” I pouted.

He laughed, kissing my forehead. “I did too, that’s why I fucked you in it. And the sight of those silver heels in the air? Oh my God, Baby, that memory alone will make me come untouched for years.”

Blushing furiously, I sat up to peer in his eyes. “You owe me a dress.”

His grin was unrepentant. “Only if I can ruin that one too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Lovelies! Sorry for the delay in these chapters, I had a brain snag. Everything is fine now and I'm rocking and rolling again.  
> I'll be on vacation in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina next week, so I will not be updating, BUT I will be writing, so I'll have some chapters for you when I get back.
> 
> Thank you for all the support!


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undisputed Teasing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the delay in updates. I got sick when I came home from vacation and I didn't feel like doing ANYTHING. So I didn't. But I'm better now and I have three chapters ready to go. Enjoy the first one, my friends!
> 
> Please remember to bookmark for updated and please leave comments, they fuel my writing!

Awaking the next morning, I jerked upright, the sound of male voices coming from the other side of Kyle’s bedroom door, my heart beating wildly in my chest.

Kyle groaned, reaching for me without opening his eyes. “It’s just the boys, lay back down.”

My eyes quickly darted all over the room, catching sight of what was left of my red dress dangling off the footboard before I allowed Kyle to pull me back down beside him. Snuggling close to him, I sighed, the warmth of his body calming me down. “Do they always walk in uninvited?”

Smiling sleepily, he nodded, his beard catching strands of my hair. “Mmhmm. Adam lives next door, and Bobby lives a couple of streets over. Roddy is nearby too but he spends his morning with his family. Must be time to get up.” He didn’t sound too happy about that, and to be honest, neither was I. Being wrapped up in Kyle’s arms was easily my favorite place to be, and I wasn’t ready to face the real world yet.

“You ripped my dress, and I don’t have any other clothes.”

I felt him smile against my temple. “Sounds like you have a problem.”

Scoffing, I made to roll over in mock aggravation. “I guess I’ll just have to go show your friends what you’ve been playing with then.”

His arms held me tight, his nose burying itself into the crook of my neck. “Nooooo, that’s all for me.”

The smell of coffee wafted through the house, and I squirmed against Kyle, my bare butt brushing against his cock. Biting my lip to stop the moan that wanted to escape, I whispered, “I need coffee though.”

Grunting, he let me go and rolled out of bed. “I’ll go get it for you. Grab a shirt from my dresser.”

Watching as he began pulling clothes on, loose basketball shorts and a sleeveless tshirt, I felt my mouth water. One day, I was going to spend _hours_ sucking on his dick. He looked so tasty, but he never let me spend much time on him before he was diving between my legs.

With a final kiss to my forehead, Kyle snuck out of the bedroom door. I could hear the jeers from Bobby and Adam, and a small grin crossed my face. They were ridiculous.

Sighing, I crawled across the massive bed and opened the drawers to the dresser that was standing against the wall. Grabbing the first one I saw and pulling it on, I was happy to find that it reached the tops of my thighs. Digging around some more, I found a pair of Kyle’s boxers and tugged those on to, rolling the waist band up so that they didn’t sag on me. I’d have to make sure I didn’t spread my legs in front of anyone, but I was passable at best.

Quickly running my hands through my hair, I made my way to the door and opened it, finding Bobby and Adam on the couch watching Raw from the previous night, while Kyle stood behind them with two coffee cups in his hands.

“Sydney!” Adam greeted me, a huge grin on his face. “Enjoy your night?” With a single finger, he lifted my panties high in the air.

Gasping, I dove forward, snatching my underwear away from him and balling them up in my hand. “It was _very_ enjoyable, thank you.” Losing my balance, I ended up plopping down in between them.

Bobby rolled his eyes. “If you missed us so much, you only had to call.”

Kyle kissed the top of my head and handed me a mug over the back of the couch. “Sorry, Babe.”

I hid my smile behind the cup as I took a drink. The Undisputed Era were annoying, like big brothers. I didn’t mind their teasing, but I didn’t want them to know that. Kyle rounded the couch and pulled me up by my wrist, covertly taking my panties from me and tucking them away in his shorts pocket before having me sit on his lap further down the couch. We watched Raw for a while, and I cheered for Ethan when he came on TV, sticking my tongue out at Bobby when he made snide comments about his match.

During a commercial, Adam spoke to me. “So, Syd, this weekend is your first loop. You’re gonna ride with UE and we’ll show you the ropes.” He sounded so matter of fact that I couldn’t help but quirk my eyebrow at him.

“Am I really? I wasn’t formally asked, you know.” Kyle’s hand was rubbing circles on my thigh, and I squirmed a little on his lap.

Adam cut through the air with his hand. “We have rules, Syd. If you are in a relationship with one of the UE guys, you travel with us. Also, no road head, no loud sex in hotel rooms, because usually we are right next door, no mile high club…” Adam was about to continue but Bobby interrupted him.

“What he means to say is, none of that unless we are invited or you take video.”

The idiots laughed and I pinched my lips together to stop my smile. “I’m going to have to have these rules written down and to talk to Roddy’s wife. Seems like a lot to remember.”

Whispering in my ear, Kyle’s breath tickled me. “Let’s go to my room real quick.”

Confused, I allowed him to lift me up off his lap and then followed him hand in hand back to his bedroom. Closing the door behind us, Kyle turned to look at me, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close to his body.

“I couldn’t stand it anymore. Knowing you have no panties on, feeling your heat through my boxers,” he dipped a hand down the back of my shorts, cupping my ass. “Then they started talking about all the places we _couldn’t_ have sex, and my brain misfired.”

Smiling up at him with probably more adoration than I should have allowed, I encircled his neck to pull him down for a few teasing kisses. “They aren’t the boss of me. If I want to go down on you on an airplane, I will.”

Kyle groaned, lifting me fully into his arms and carrying me to the bed. His facial expression was pinched, his breath short, as he crawled on top of me, kissing my neck and up to my lips. “How am I supposed to keep my hands off you? You make the best little noises, Baby.”

A low moan came out of my throat and I rocked my core against his hardness, earning a grunt from Kyle. My flesh was hot, and desperation was starting to creep in. I needed Kyle, and just his body weight on top of me was not enough. He had made a good point, this trip was a working tour. There wouldn’t be a lot of time for fun and games, and I was intent on impressing the coaches, trying to dig my way out of the doghouse to get back on TV.

Kyle’s hands were running up and down my thighs, pushing his boxers out of the way and lightly grazing my pussy before sneaking away again. My hips tried to chase his hands, but they were gone and somewhere else before I could fully shift to catch them, and my moans turned into whines. “Kyle, please, Baby. Touch me.”

He dragged his beard against my cheek and my neck, his lips trailing behind soothing the discomfort. “Want my fingers, Syd? Is that what you want? Looking so fucking sexy in my shirt and boxers.”

Again I rocked against his length, but he shifted away, denying me the friction. Frustrated, I nipped his bare shoulder in retaliation. The grunt that came from his sounded dangerous and primal, and I squirmed in excitement.

“You know I love it when you mark me,” he whispered heavily in my ear, and without warning he slipped a finger inside of me.

Just as I was about to let out a squeak of alarm, a loud pounding started on the bedroom door, and the sound I made was entirely different. “Hey! You two sluts need to get moving! Aleister is already blowing up Syd’s phone and we need to get to the gym, Kyle!”

Raising my head to glare at the door, and Bobby’s voice, I cursed. “I hate your friends.”

Exasperated, Kyle dropped his head to my shoulder. “If I thought you could be quiet I’d finger fuck you right here until you came, but we both know that’s impossible.” Slowly, he slid his finger out of me and brought it to my mouth for me to clean up.

My mouth wrapped around his digit, I looked up at him with pleading eyes before pulling back. “Can we try that one day, please?”

More knocking on the door had Kyle rolling his eyes and telling Bobby to wait a damn minute. He turned to look at me, kissing me softly. “We can try anything you want, Baby. You just say the word.” He slowly sat up and got off the bed, leaving me to wonder what I did to deserve Kyle O’Reilly.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic ensnares Sydney right before her first out of state show, so she appeals to Kyle for some help

Standing in the building where my first out of state show would be, I felt a little breathless. Part of me felt ridiculous for feeling so weepy. I had been on TV, I had been all over Florida doing shows, but this, this was huge. This felt like I was on the precipice of something important, as long as I didn’t screw it up.

The room was buzzing with a low energy, the ring all set up and ready to practice, people milling about. MJ Jenkins and I had already talked about our match, discussed what we wanted to do, and she was fine with me trying out some submission moves as long as I took a Rearview to the face. That was fine with me, I was slated to lose as the heel anyway, so dignity wasn’t what I was aiming for.

Candice and Dakota had a tag team match that night and were talking to Deonna and Vanessa Borne near the curtain to the back stage area. I was trying to give Deonna a wide berth. I wanted zero drama on this trip, which was going to be a struggle with the Undisputed Era boys around. While their drama was more in the form of pranks and jokes, it was sometimes was bit too stressful for me while I was trying to keep my head in the game. Which only made them laugh harder when I got pissed off at them, especially when Roddy hijacked my suitcase and told me the airline lost it while we were at baggage claim. That asshole.

Sighing, I decided I needed to go gear up and start stretching, maybe take a few bumps in the ring to calm myself down. While my brain was on the Magical Mystery Tour of Awesomeness that was feeling blessed, my body was high strung and antsy. It made for a very disorienting combination.

In the women’s locker room I pulled my gear on, rolling my eyes at the run in my brand new, just out of the package, panty hose. I had thought the regular routine of getting ready would help clear my mind, but I was wrong, it only seemed to make me more nervous. So much was riding on the success of this trip, and I felt as if one small misstep would make everything I had worked so hard for come crumbling down on top of me.

Pulling out my phone, I called Ethan, a last ditch effort to get my brain back in the game.

_“Hello?”_

“Hey, E,” I said, putting him on speaker so I could pull my boots on.

_“Hey Syd. Gearing up?”_

“Yeah. Thought I’d go to the ring and work off the rust.”

I heard him snort. _“You don’t have any rust, Syd. You’ve been in the ring.”_

Tying my laces, I sighed. “I haven’t had a full match in months, Ethan.”

_“It’s like riding a bike. You’ll be fine as soon as your music hits. Don’t get too inside your head.”_

I didn’t feel like telling him it may be too late for that, so I changed the subject and we talked about the house shows he would be attending that weekend. Our conversation was short, both of our shows starting shortly, and I felt a pang in my chest. I missed my best friend. I still wasn’t relaxed and my breathing was starting to become difficult. This was a hell of a time for a panic attack.

I had to get my mind right. I could not go into the match with MJ with my brain scattered, she depended on me to keep her safe, and I could potentially hurt her. Picking up my phone, I sent a text to Kyle. I had no idea where he was, or if he could help me, but I felt that I needed to reach out to someone.

**Me: Babe, are you busy?**

**Kyle: All done with local interviews. What’s up?**

God, I hated bothering him with this. Was there ever going to come a point where I wouldn’t need someone?

**Me: I’m freaking out a little bit. Tried to talk to Ethan but he had a show. Help?**

**Kyle: Meet me near the trucks. You might need fresh air**

Actually, that was a good idea. Grabbing my hoodie and throwing it on, I left the Women’s locker room and headed to the back of the venue, and through the doors that lead to the loading bay. Normally going outside in my gear was a big no-no, but in this case, I forgave myself. The Texas weather was warm, and the sun was just going down in the distance. The two semis and trailers were backed up to the loading door, creating a narrow hallway type situation in front of me. Kyle was already there waiting for me, a concerned expression on his face as he grasped my waist to help me jump down from the loading dock.

Without a word, he wrapped me up in his arms, and I buried my nose in his Undisputed Era shirt. He had sweats on over his trunks, but hadn’t put his boots on yet. “When is your match?” I asked him.

“Second from last. I have time.” Kyle’s lips pressed against my hair and I closed my eyes.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

He didn’t respond, just continued to hold me while I listened to the sounds around me. I could hear the cars on the freeway rushing past, the wind in the trees, and the excited voices for the crowd gathering on the other side of the building.

I struggled to blank my mind, to control my breathing, but I just couldn’t get a handle on it. Leaning back to look at Kyle, I bit my lip in hesitation, the idea in my head tempting me to speak up. “I’m going to ask you to let me do something, but if you don’t want to, just say no, ok?”

Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed as he peered down at me. I could tell he was trying to read my facial expression, and to be honest, I had no idea what he saw. “Ominous, but ok.”

Giving him a weak grin, I rose up on my tip toes to nip his chin lightly through his beard. In his ear I whispered, “Let me suck your cock.”

In my arms, I felt Kyle freeze, and if I could have heard his brain it would have sounded like the rapid whirring of gears. Keeping my gaze over his shoulder, I refused to look at him directly, just waiting for his answer. My request was out of left field, I knew that.

Finally, he shifted and took a deep breath. “Syd, you don’t have to-.”

I cut him off. “I need it, Kyle. I need to focus on you so I can calm down. Let me do this, please.”

Taking my shoulders in his hands, he pushed me back so that he could look me in the face. He still looked worried. After a moment, he sighed deeply and kissed my forehead. “Anything for you, Baby.”

Beaming at him, I let him lead me by my hand to one of the semis. Casting a quick look around, he opened the cab door and stepped back, letting me climb in ahead of him. I had never been inside one before, but I knew that when NXT did local shows, we used a day cab, but this one had a sleeper in it.

Stepping between the seats, I sat down on the bed, waiting for Kyle to lock the door and follow me. I felt kind of bad that I was using someone else’s bed to suck off my boyfriend, but the need was too high for me to give it much thought.

Settling down beside me, Kyle ran his hand over my hair. “You sure? We don’t have a lot of time.”

I didn’t need a lot of time. Climbing in his lap I grasped his face between my hands and kissed him deeply, moaning when he slipped his hands under my hoodie to trace the cutouts of my gear on my back. “Don’t get confused, this is for me, not for you.”

He grinned up at me, a hand coming around to palm my breast. “I’m happy to help, always.”

I rolled my eyes, biting back my smile. After making out for a few moments, I squirmed out of his arms and down off the bed. It was low to the ground, so I had Kyle scoot back a little, draping myself in his lap so that my elbows were on either side of his hips. Tugging down his sweats and trunks, I licked my lips, feeling my mouth water when his dick stood upright and throbbed in front of me.

Above me, Kyle was leaning up on his arms watching me. Tossing him a quick sultry smile, I flicked my tongue out to lick the underside of his cock as I took him in my hand. I knew he was too big to fit in my mouth, the girth close to half the size of my wrist, so I started with paying attention strictly to the shaft, ignoring the head, where I knew he was extremely sensitive. Running my lips up and down his skin, moaning at the velvety feeling, occasionally darting my tongue out to add wetness.

Kyle groaned, dropping to his back. “Fuck,” he mumbled.

I heard him but paid him no attention. I could feel my body begin to settle, muscles slowing loosening up. With every up and down motion, every flick of my tongue, and gentle nip of my teeth, my brain began to float, and my worries dissipated.

“Syd,” Kyle groaned, reaching up to tug on my pony tail. “Come on, Baby, suck the head.”

I ignored the direction, flashing him a warning glare before I reached into his trucks to fondle his balls. I told him this wasn’t for him. I was going to do what I wanted to do, all he was needed for was the end product.

Kyle’s grunts and breathing became scattered and heavy, and as I continued to rub his balls, I gripped his shaft at the base and squeezed, effectively slowing down his orgasm.

He cursed some more but didn’t stop me. Deciding to have a small amount of mercy on him, I took the head of his dick in my mouth and swallowed him as far as I could go, earning a jab of his dick in my throat when his hips jolted in reaction. Immediately I pulled off, going back to tonguing his shaft. I chose at random where I would lick him, using long, wide swipes of my tongue, then run my mouth along the length.

“Syd, goddammit, please.”

If this was any other time, I would have soared at hearing Kyle beg, but it fell on deaf ears. I was officially in the zone, the place where no one could touch me, my worries were gone, and my only goal was to make Kyle have the most powerful orgasm of his life.

“Ugh, gonna make me cum, Baby. God, your mouth feels amazing.” Kyle rambled, his head tossing from side to side.

Every so often, I would loosen the pressure on my grip at the base of his dick. As soon as I felt his thighs tense under my forearms, I would tighten back up again, feeling devious when he’d groan in frustration. Deciding to switch it up a little bit, I shifted down lower between his legs, licking down to the base of his shaft where my fingers encircled him. Removing my hand, I sucked hard at the skin there, feeling Kyle stiffen in response.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Sydney! Baby, I’m cumming!”

Quickly I reached up and sucked the head of his dick in my mouth, rubbing my tongue on the underside, along the little dip there. My hand pumped him, and I listened to his moans and curses as he gripped my head and jerked his hips, cumming in my mouth in rapid spurts.

I swallowed everything he gave me, almost losing a few drops in my attempt to keep up with him. Kyle shuddered hard, then relaxed against the bed, his limbs going limp, sighing loudly.

Sitting up, I licked my lips, stretching my back muscles that were screaming from being bent over. “I feel better,” I announced, climbing on top of him for a hug.

Scoffing, Kyle wrapped his arms around me. “Jesus Christ I think you sucked my soul down your throat.”

Giggling, I kissed his chin. “Thank you, I’ll keep your soul safe.”

He laughed, sitting us upright, kissing me deeply as I straddled his waist. “Do you need me, Baby?”

“Mmmm,” I mused. My panties were definitely damp, but I wasn’t uncomfortable. “I will later, if you are free. Right now, I feel great, exactly where I needed to be.”

“Oh, I’ll absolutely be free. I’m going to return the favor, and Adam is going to be pissed to hear you screaming my name for hours.”

Rolling my eyes, I took his hand in mine. “Let’s get back inside. My match is soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some songs that have inspired this story, and I was wondering if anyone was interested in me adding those songs to the notes of the chapters. Let me know in the comments!


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected conversation with Deonna clears some things up, and confuses everything else

I couldn’t sleep. Downstairs in the hotel bar, I slowly spun my coke around in a circle, tracing the ring of water the condensation made on the bartop. Kyle was asleep in our room, worn out from fucking me mercilessly for hours after the show. I was restless, and since I was unwilling to disturb Kyle, I decided maybe a walk would help me get to sleep. When that didn't work I found myself ordering a coke from the bar, ignoring the bored expression of the bartender. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one with that idea.

Deonna slid into the barstool next to me, a beer already in her hand. “Don’t freak out,” she cautioned, seeing the pissed expression on my face. “I’m not here to fight.”

I snorted, turning my head away from her. “Well that’s different.”

Deonna shrugged. “I know you don’t like me, and you are right not to.”

Confused, I cast her a dubious glance. “So what? Are you over here to try to change my mind?”

She shook her head. “No. I just think that if we are not going to like each other, we should be on the same page as to why, don’t you think?”

“No, actually, that sounds stupid and talking to you is not something I feel up to right now.” I couldn’t believe the audacity of this girl. Sure, maybe her idea had merit, and I was mildly curious as to what her deal was, but if she thought I was going to make it easy on her, she was dead wrong.

“For instance, you have horrible taste in men.”

Shocked, I looked at her, only to find her taking a drink from the bottle. “Excuse me?”

Deonna nodded, seemingly to herself. She got her wish, we were talking now, but how in the world was I supposed to ignore that comment? “It’s true.”

“What would you know about my taste in men? You sided with Pete because he was your friend. I can actually understand that, but Kyle? He’s been nothing but wonderful and supportive. Take your opinions with you to Hell, Deonna.”

“Kyle likes charity,” she quipped.

Aggravation mounted in me and I struggled against the urge to smash her face into the bartop. “Charity? What are you talking about?”

“Newbies. Greenhorns. Struggling wrestlers. You know, like you. He swoops in, befriends them, schools them a little bit in whatever they need work on, fucks their brains out, and as soon as they can stand on their own two feet again, he drops them and picks a new case.”

I felt my heart stop in my chest. “That’s not true. I haven’t heard anyone say anything about Kyle doing that.”

Shrugging, she took another drink. “He’s a _nice_ guy, Sydney. He does it in a way that makes everyone happy, and leaves no drama in his wake.”

Now that my heart was beating again, it felt as if it was strangling me. “You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. Go ask Aliyah, Lacey Lane or Taynara. They are the most recent ones. Once upon a time they couldn’t even get onto house shows. Now look at them, having matches on TV.”

Biting my lip, I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Deonna was the queen of rumors, and I couldn’t take anything she said seriously. But something in me worried, the gremlin waking up, taking that grain of information and turning it over and over in the back of my mind like a stone. Opening my eyes, I looked at her. “What does any of this have to do with you? You’ve been a pain in my ass for months.”

Cutting the air with her hand, she stopped me. “It’s not personal. I need Kyle. And I don’t mean sexually. He’s laser focused on you, his new pet, and I need him to train me. I asked him, and he declined. If I can get the two of you apart, he’ll have time to work with me.”

I kept feeling like I was getting repeatedly punched in the stomach. “You are starting shit so he’ll train you? Are you insane?”

“I figured you would have found out weeks ago, but I thought I’d help the break up go a little faster. I make no apologies. My career is on the line.”

None of this made any sense. Why would she tell me this? To face me with this reasoning meant she was either right, or a pathological liar that saw nothing wrong with what she was doing. Neither set well with me.

Sighing, Deonna stood up, taking her beer with her. “Like I said, it’s fine we don’t like each other. This is a cut throat industry and we are both trying to make it, using Kyle along the way. See you later.”

Another point for Deonna, I mused. She knew just where to hit me. Was I using Kyle? Yes, probably, but more emotionally than for training. I used Pete in the same way, clinging to him out of fear of change. But did that make me any better than her? I depended on Kyle to keep me sane, to make me happy, to quiet the gremlin that was now having a field day inside my head. Did Kyle sniff that out? Deonna said Kyle liked to help struggling wrestlers. I was definitely that. I had the skills, but not the emotional stability, until he came into my life.

One thing was certain, I was going to have to face Kyle with my worries, but first, a little recon.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sydney's brain is spinning, and she needs answers

Kyle knew something was wrong when I would hardly make eye contact with him the next morning. I muttered something about my period and avoided his attempts at conversation all throughout breakfast. On the bus, I gave him a weak smile and put on my headphones, ignoring him for the two hour drive to Abilene.

He gave me my space, but I could tell it bothered him. I hated it, but my mind was furiously working through what Deonna had told me, and how I could find out the truth before I spoke to Kyle about it. I knew if I went to him first, I’d believe whatever he told me in a thinly veiled attempt to get back into my happy place, the bubble where nothing bothered me and nothing touched me. But I needed the truth. Hiding from it was not going to help me.

Arriving at the fairground in Abilene, I somehow managed to avoid following Kyle off the bus, squeezing between Dakota and Candice and walking with them to the women’s locker room. Even as I dumped my bag on the floor and sat on the bench, Dakota flicked my ponytail and sat beside me.

“What’s up with you?”

Sighing, I pulled out my gear, trying to arrange the words in my head before I spoke them out loud. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Candice was behind me, a hand on her hip, listening to my conversation with Dakota.

“I need to ask the two of you something, privately.” After they both nodded, I bit my lip and forged forward. “I need some background on the girls that came before me.”

Candice scrunched up her nose. “What girls?”

Running my hands over my tights, I answered her without looking up. “The girls that Kyle trained.”

Standing to hang up her jacket, Dakota answered. “He’s helped a lot of people, myself included.”

From behind me, Candice spoke again. “Syd, what is going on?”

I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t confess that Deonna had gotten under my skin. “I’ve just been thinking about what he’s done for me.”

Dakota nodded, pulling the bands out of her hair and grabbing a brush, running it through her short dark strands. “He’s helped a lot of us. Always super patient and he listens. Takes the time to guide us through what we are really struggling with. I know Lacey Lane really spent a lot of time with him.”

My heart sank. “Why didn’t I know?” I couldn’t believe I could now add my friend Dakota Kai to the list of girls that Kyle had been with. I felt nauseous and small.

I heard Candice rustling around behind me, but I didn’t look at her. “What was there to say? It’s Kyle, and there is no changing him.”

After that, I fell silent, hardly hearing my friends as they headed out to start building the ring. I leaned my elbows on my knees, hanging my head low. My thoughts boiled in my head and I could feel the beginning of tears prickling behind my eyes.

Sniffing, I sat up. I needed more proof, from someone closer to the source. I couldn’t stand to ask Dakota for details, that was one situation I had to blinders on, for my own sanity. Standing, I left the locker room and went to find the person I thought could clear all this up for me. Striding through the cavernous space, nothing more than an aluminum building with bleachers inside for seating, I saw my co-workers carrying various items, setting up the ring and the lights, and our coaches huddled together having conversations about matches.

The woman I was looking for was in the middle of it all, trying to put together the entrance curtain. She was struggling, her short stature making it difficult for her to reach the rod above her head, which was linked with two others forming a square archway. “Hey Lacey,” I greet her. “Need some help?”

She turned to me, her dreads held back by a simple band flying over her shoulder. “Hey Sydney! Oh my gosh, yes please!” She laughed. “Give me wires for the light board or give me planks for the ring, but a simple curtain is beyond my skill set!”

I laughed with her, reaching up to grab the metal rod and pull it down, so the whole contraption tilted at a forty-five degree angle. “Something I learned a long time ago, if it doesn’t work for you, make it.”

Smiling at me, her began threading the black curtain on the rod. “I’ll use that advice, thanks!”

I watched her for a moment, silently, before clearing my throat. _Here went nothing_. “Hey speaking of advice, I heard you spent some time with Kyle O’Reilly.”

Her brow furrowed as she concentrated on what she was doing, but a smile ghosted on her lips. “Kyle will change your life, Syd, I promise.”

“Yeah, he’s been great.” I didn’t know what else to say. This conversation already felt fruitless. I thought I had a plan, I thought I knew what I wanted to know, but standing here, watching this bubbly, vivacious woman, I was second-guessing myself.

“Kyle came into my life at a time I really needed him. I was new, had zero direction, was clueless about the ins and outs of the PC, and he took it upon himself to take me under his wing. I will love him for that forever.”

Her words felt like they punched me in the stomach. Love? She loved him? My hand still holding the archway, I turned my body slightly away from her so she wouldn’t notice my now visible tremor.

Lacey continued, not paying me much attention. “We would be up all night, and he’d help me with my promos. I really struggled at those.” She laughed, as if remembering good times. “Sometimes we’d stay awake until the sun came up and then we’d pass out and almost sleep the day away.”

I couldn’t breathe. “So what happened? Do you still hang out?”

A little shrug from her indicated she heard my question. “We talk every once in a while. But once I started getting booked to matches and could hold my own on the mic, we sort of drifted apart. Now, don’t get me wrong, if he ever called me in the middle of the night, I’d drop what I was doing and rush over to him. He’s the kind of guy that inspires that kind of reaction.”

Lacey finished with the curtain and stood back with a grin on her face as I pushed the arch back upright. Looking over at me, she caught my expression so I gave her a weak smile.

“Kyle is a helper, Syd. It’s more ingrained in him than wrestling. He will always be that way. Enjoy being around him, it’s a great feeling.”

I couldn’t help the snort that came out of my nose as I crossed my arms. “Why enjoy it if he’s just going to move on to the next person that needs help?”

She gave me an odd look I couldn’t decipher. “Are you trying to hold him hostage or something? Kyle has a gift that should be shared. He’s a great teacher and a great person. I can’t tell you the amount of times he let me cry in his arms when I messed something up or when I just needed someone to support me.”

I nodded, thanking her and leaving her behind. There was no way I could continue that conversation. I made my way through the building and then outside near the bus, needing a moment to clear my head and put together everything I had learned.

Leaning against fender, I pressed my forehead to the side of the bus. Deonna was right. She was right, and that alone was enough to fill me with rage. I felt betrayed by Kyle, but the feeling left me feeling dirty and sick. In no way did I want any of it to be true, and I briefly wondered if I needed to talk to Taynara Conti also, another one of the girls Deonna had claimed Kyle had “trained”, but I just couldn’t go through another conversation like the one I had with Lacey.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, but I ignored it. My sixth sense told me it was Kyle, and I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. Not while I was on this trip, one of the most important loops in my career. The overwhelming urge to find a liquor store crawled up my spine, and I began gasping for air. Closing my eyes, I tried to breathe through my nose and out through my mouth, but I could taste the Jack Daniels on the back of my tongue. It haunted me, whispered to me, telling me I could feel better if I just had a sip. I tried to remind myself it was an empty promise, that I was on the road to success, and that being sober was the best decision I had ever made.

As my hands shook, I stood upright, casting my eyes around for anything to distract me. There was nothing, just the back of a building, the bus, and a parking lot that was currently empty. Panic began to set in, my breathing still uneven. I wanted Kyle, I wanted liquor, I wanted to cry and curl into a ball. But none of that would work.

So I did the second dumbest thing I could do.

I called Pete Dunne.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sydney finally divulges to Kyle what she learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bad friend, I'm sorry I left you hanging for so long....

He didn’t answer and my heart simultaneously dropped into my stomach and soared with relief, which left me feeling light headed. Gripping my phone tightly in my hand, I felt the buzz and looked down before I could catch myself. I saw Kyle’s name on the lock screen, his text still unanswered, but above that was Pete’s name.

**Pete: Sorry Love, in a meeting. Call you in a few**

I almost texted him back to tell him not to bother, but I stopped myself. My emotions were all over the place. I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to talk to him or if telling him I didn’t want to talk to him was a lie. My head spun and closing my eyes, I leaned against the bus again. I had to get myself together, I had a match soon and I still needed to get dressed and stretch.

The crunch of gravel was my only clue that I was no longer alone, and as I opened my eyes I felt a touch on my elbow. Kyle was in front of me, looking worried and pissed at the same time.

“Syd, what are you doing out here?”

“I-uh,” I began stuttering, not being able to meet his eyes. “I was um, having another panic attack.”

Standing in front of me, the worry erased from Kyle’s face, just leaving pure frustration. He crossed his arms, glaring at me. “And this panic attack has been going on since this morning?”

“Mmhmm,” I responded, noncommittally. Lying to Kyle was like getting jabbed in the stomach over and over.

He was silent, watching my face. My eyes flicked from his chin and back down to the ground, my toe pushing gravel around. I just couldn’t look at him directly. “I call bullshit.”

My body jolted, but I still refused to look up. I wasn’t ready to talk to Kyle yet, I wasn’t ready to acknowledge that things weren’t what I expected. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I just needed some air.”

“Air? Really? Are you sure you aren’t running?”

This time, I did look up at him, although I hadn’t intended to. His green eyes were locked on me, his lips pressed together so tightly that they were turning white. “Running? What are you talking about?”

“Running from me, Syd. Away from your problems. Something is going on with you and instead of talking about them you are headed in the opposite direction!”

Rage boiled inside of me and I exploded. “For your information, I haven’t been running, I’ve been trying to piece things together! I learned something about you, Kyle, something that I wasn’t prepared to deal with and makes me question every move you’ve made!”

Kyle’s arms dropped and he stumbled backwards a step. “You are questioning me?”

I was on a roll now. “Fuck yes I am! Do you want to explain your _charity_ work?” The word Deonna had used spilled from my lips like a curse. I watched Kyle’s mouth open as if he was going to repeat it, but I cut him off. “You know, your penchant to rescue girls, prop them up, help them, _fuck them_ , and then leave them for the next one?”

Kyle’s eyes were wide with disbelief, his mouth hanging open as I ranted at him.

“I talked to Dakota and Lacey, and they told me! They told me how you swooped in when they needed someone the most, how you were caring and compassionate and helped them achieve their dreams. But you always move on, don’t you? So what now, huh? What now, Kyle? What am I to you? Another charity case? Another down on her luck wannabe wrestler with a sad back story and mental health issues? Am I like the _coup de grace_? If you manage to tame me, heal me, you get some sort of award and the key to the city?”

“Enough!” Kyle roared, and my mouth snapped shut. I was panting, tears streaming down my cheeks. Kyle’s fists were clenched by his side, and his face was a deep red. Livid did not come close enough to how mad he looked. “Why? Why, Sydney? Do you think so low of yourself to believe that I would use you that way? Do you think that low of me? Why?”

Trying to control my shaking, I swiped away the tears on my face. “Tell me the truth,” I demanded.

“Would you believe anything I said? That’s why you didn’t come to me, right?”

I couldn’t control the broken sound that bubbled up from my chest.

Slightly turning away from me, Kyle looked back at the building. “You’ve convinced yourself that I’ve done something wrong, and nothing I say can change your mind. You’re running, like I said before.” Glancing at me over his shoulder, I shuddered at the hurt I saw there. “We have a show to do. Think about what you want to happen next, and when you decide, come find me.” He took a step to leave at the same time my phone rang. In my hand, Pete’s name flashed across the screen, catching Kyle’s attention. Scoffing, he rolled his eyes, stomping away from me. “Running straight to Pete, I see.”

The door slammed behind him and I gasped, doubling over from the pain that radiated from my chest. Sobs wracked my body, my arms across my middle trying to keep myself from crumbling. My phone dropped to the ground at the same time I fell to my knees, unable to stand upright while my world spun out of control around me.

What had I done? How was it possible that I thought I was doing the right thing, and it _still_ ended up being wrong? Was I doomed to be this clueless wretch my entire life? Was Kyle right? Was I running? Running from what? And why did I call Pete? What could Pete do for me that Kyle couldn’t? Or that I couldn’t do for myself?

As I cried, I questioned everything I had learned in the last twenty four hours, starting with Deonna’s pipebomb. Even if it was true, why did it matter? I had been happy, deliriously happy, for the first time since I was a child. Even Lacey had said that Kyle would change my life. So why would anything he had done in the past affect the here and now?

Because I was scared I was another throw away.

I had told Kyle, months ago, that I was a stereotypical foster kid with trust issues. That I had accepted my lot in life, that no one wanted me permanently, even my final foster parents, who treated me like theirs, but never made it official because they needed the government check to feed the rest of their kids. All of that was a part of me, ingrained in my DNA.

I was terrified that he would move on from me, leave me behind. Even if he did all the great things Dakota and Lacey said he did, be supportive, set them up for success, Kyle leaving me would tear my world apart, and I would not be like the others, content to watch from afar as he picked another to assist. I could not watch him move on with dignity.

So here I was, self-destructing as per usual. At the first hint of adversity I spiraled. How could it have all gone so wrong so fast?

In front of me, my phone rang and rang and rang, but I stared at it with tear-filled blank eyes. Calling Pete had been a mistake. Closing my eyes, I tried to calm myself down enough to get to my feet. I just needed to stand up, that was the first step. After that? I couldn’t think even that far yet. I needed to get upright, and then I’d think about that.

My crying finally slowed and I was able to catch my breath. The pain in my chest was still there, sharp and ugly, but I tried to shove it into the back of my mind. Slowly, blinking away the wetness from my lashes, I opened my eyes. My gaze found my phone, finding four missed calls from Pete and the preview of a text message he sent when I didn’t answer.

**Pete: Told you that you’d crawl back to me. Call me when you break up with O’Reilly. I don’t like competition**

Pete Dunne could jump off a cliff, I thought as I struggled to my feet. I crawled for no one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This slow burn is kinda getting ridiculous, isn't it? 41 chapters so far? Wow, I'm insane...  
> ...only a few more chapters left....


	42. Chapter 42

I couldn’t believe I found myself sitting at a bar top for the second night in a row, this time, with an untouched glass of Jack Daniels sitting right in front of me. While I ordered, my stomach contracted in guilt, and I wasn’t able to stop my hand from trembling when I tried to bring the drink to my lips. So there it sat, watered down and warming up, as I tried to pull myself together.

There was only a faint memory of my match that night with MJ. I was a wreck, and I whispered to her to just get it over with quickly. After that, there was a void of time until I found myself getting on the bus with the rest of the NXT roster, heading to Wichita Falls. Kyle walked right past me and the empty seat to my left, choosing to sit with Bobby at the back of the bus.

I couldn’t fault him, but it hurt just the same.

At the hotel, I found myself confused about where to go. I had been rooming with Kyle, Dakota and Candice were rooming together, and I could have possibly begged them to squeeze me in, but truly, I just wanted to be left alone. Alone with Jack. My old friend.

“Ma’am?”

I looked up to find the bartender wiping his hands with a white towel.

“We’re about to close up. Can I take your glass?”

Nodding, I glanced at the clock on my phone, finding it to be close to 3a.m. I had sat there for hours, not marking the time passing. No doubt I looked like some lonely fool. Dropping cash on the bar top, I stood and grabbed my bag, dragging it behind me. There was no getting around it, I had to face Kyle. What was supposed to be _our_ room was on the first floor, so it wasn’t long before I found myself outside the hotel door, a pit of dread knotting my stomach up.

Realizing he was probably asleep, I knocked, biting my lip in anticipation. A part of me really didn’t want him to answer the door, but I was so damn tired.

The door opened and Kyle stood there, bleary eyed and shirtless, squinting at me in the harsh hallway light.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hand grip the door tightly, his knuckles turning white. Keeping my gaze locked on his, refusing to cower, I waited for him to say something. Anything. Would this turn into another fight? Maybe we could make up. Did I want to make up with him? I wasn’t sure.

Slowly, he stepped back, opening the door wider, but kept silent. His expression was hard and closed off. Stepping in, rolling my suitcase along behind me, I passed him, listening as he closed and locked the door behind me.

There were two beds, and truly I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed. Stopping at the foot of the unused bed, I looked back at Kyle to find him maneuvering past me, keeping his distance on his way to his bed.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. Still, he didn’t speak, only crawled back into his bed and pulled the covers up to his ears, turning his back to me.

I felt sick. Kyle’s apparent disinterest struck a nerve in me and made me feel ashamed, but I wasn’t sure of what. I wasn’t the one who had list a mile long of discarded lovers.

Huffing a breath, I unzipped my suitcase and found my pajamas, stripping right there in the middle of the room before getting redressed. It wasn’t anything Kyle hadn’t seen before, if he even cared to look. Crawling into bed, I flicked off the light on the nightstand and laid down, my eyes feeling grainy and heavy.

An awkward silence filled the room. I knew Kyle was still awake, and to be in the same room and not curled around each other felt extremely unnatural to me. All I wanted was to be in his arms, with his lips pressed against the crown of my head, my face buried in his chest as I listened to his breathing even out before falling asleep.

Instead, the air felt heavy with unsaid words, and the gremlin was eagerly rubbing his hands together. _Now is the time. Say something._

“I tried to drink tonight.” The words felt like a bullet in the darkness, and my gremlin growled at me. That’s not what he wanted. He wanted feelings and drama. I wasn’t in the mood for that. Kyle’s leg moved, rustling the covers, but made no other indication that he heard me. “But I couldn’t do it. I ordered it, and instead of drinking it, I watched the ice melt for hours.”

If we had been in a good place, he would have been proud of me, I was sure. But we weren’t, and so what should have felt like a personal triumph felt more like bait for any sort of interaction. Frustrated, I rolled over, my back to Kyle’s, closing my eyes. We needed to talk, Kyle had been right about that outside of the fairgrounds.

He also said I needed to figure out what I wanted to happen next, and that was something I hadn’t done. I felt as if I was at a standstill, waiting for someone else to make a move.

Burying my face in my pillow, I prayed for sleep to claim me fast. Some peace from my chaotic thoughts would be a reprieve I badly needed.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Sydney realizes she is an idiot

Kyle and his luggage were already gone when I woke up the next morning. The sun shined cheerily through the curtains, rays of light crossing the floor. Laying there, I curled in on myself. I had to do something. Continuing with this pitying attitude wasn’t going to improve anything.

Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I checked the time and finding it was still early enough for breakfast, sent a text to Candice. While I waited on her response about getting breakfast, I grabbed a clean set of clothes and hopped in the shower, letting the previous day wash away down that drain. I purposefully kept my mind blank, my actions dedicated. I wasn’t ready to think, had no desire to even try.

Getting out, I quickly dried off and got dressed, brushing my hair and tossing it up into a wet bun. On the bed, my phone was buzzing, texts from Candice showing on the display.

**Candice: Heading to the café across the street with Dakota**

**Candice: Join us, we’ll get a table**

**Candice: Did you die? We got you coffee**

A rueful grin crossed my face. She wasn’t known for her patience.

**Me: Sorry was in the shower. I’ll be there in 5 minutes**

Glancing up from my phone, I bit my lip. What was I supposed to do with my luggage? I didn’t have a key to the room, so I couldn’t leave it here, but I didn’t want to drag it all over town either. A piece of paper on the dresser next to the TV caught my eye. It was the only thing misplaced on the surface, so I crossed the short space and pulled the paper closer to me with a single finger. Kyle’s handwriting was scrawled across it, and my heart seemed to squeeze in my chest.

_Syd,_

_Keep the room, I’ll bunk with Bobby. Front desk has a key for you_

_Kyle_

Even when he was mad at me, he took care of me. Momentarily, I closed my eyes against the onslaught of emotions that raced through me. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my backpack and my phone and left the room, heading to the desk to get my key, then across the street to find Dakota and Candice.

They were sitting just inside the door at a table next to the window, Dakota grinning at Candice as she tried to smear cream cheese on a bagel with a splint on her finger. Sitting down, I greeted my friends.

“What did you do to your finger?” I asked, reaching for my coffee cup.

Candice shrugged, her finger stuck in the air like she was at high tea. “Bent it funny last night during a hurricarana. It’s just sprained but Doc wants me to wear this dumb brace for a few weeks.”

Dakota could hardly contain herself. “Watching you struggle is putting me in a good mood.”

Candice stuck her tongue out at her, but spoke to me. “You slept late, lazy bones.”

Clearing my throat, I shifted a little in my seat. “Not really. Only a few hours. I was up late.”

Dakota’s grin got bigger and I could tell she wanted to nudge me with her elbow, but I leaned away. “Kyle keep you up?”

Scowling at her, I wrinkled my nose. She was extremely playful this morning, and I was fighting how contagious it was. I was in no mood to smile or laugh. “No, actually. He’s not speaking to me.”

Candice’s knife clattered to her plate and I looked over at her. “What? Why? What happened?”

Cradling my coffee cup in my hands, allowing the warmth to spread into my bones, I turned my gaze towards the window. “I confronted him.”

“About what?” she asked.

Scoffing, I looked between the two of them. Why were they acting like they had no clue what was going on? “About all the girls he’s fucked.”

Dakota had a glass of water in her hand and she had just taken a sip. She coughed, a hand flying to cover her mouth as she struggled not to spit water all over the table while Candice squeaked and kneed the table as she twisted in her chair.

“What?” she exclaimed, reaching over to hand Dakota another napkin as she coughed her lungs up, her eyes watering.

“Come on, you two! You are the ones who confirmed it!” I exclaimed, putting my cup down.

Waving her hand in the air, Dakota gasped for a breath. “Are you insane?”

Candice nodded. “Honestly, Syd, I’d never say anything like that about him!”

Incredulous, I watched them, my mouth hanging open. I was confused and angry. “Just yesterday I asked you about the girls before me! And Candice, you said he was who he was and there was no changing him!”

Dakota tossed her napkin on the table, eyes red rimmed. “Sydney I’ve never had sex with Kyle!”

Heads were starting to turn our way, with our voices raised and Dakota’s coughing fit, I’m sure we looked crazy. Ignoring the other customers, I crossed my arms over my chest.

Candice was exasperated. “What would make you think that, anyway?”

My brain was spinning. What if I had been wrong all this time? What if I had started a fight with Kyle over nothing? Sheepishly, I answered my friends. “It’s something Deonna said.”

This time, Dakota’s cough was mixed with disgust. “Start from the top because I think you’ve got a lot of things twisted, and it needs to be cleared up.” Candice nodded in agreement.

So I told them everything, every word Deonna had said, what Lacey Lane had seemingly confirmed to me, the argument I had with Kyle. And as I went through it all outloud, it all appeared extremely ridiculous.

“Deonna got into your head,” Candice mumbled as I finished up my story.

I scrunched up my nose in self-disgust. “She played me. She knew my weaknesses better than I did.”

Dakota reached over and put her hand on my wrist, causing me to look her in the eye. “I’m not saying Kyle didn’t have relationships, but what I am saying is if he did, none of us knew about them, and I can damn sure say I wasn’t one of them. When we say he helped us, that’s all he did. He trained us and guided us.”

I was quiet a moment, the memory of Kyle having to go pick up Deonna for a bar popping into my mind. “A few months ago, Deonna made a pass at Kyle, and he turned her down. She didn’t react well to it. At  the time, I was extremely suspicious, even though she has a boyfriend. I should have listened to my instincts.”

Dakota nodded. “I think you are right. She wants him, and not for training.”

I sighed. “I don’t know if I can repair any of the damage I’ve done.” I felt incredibly foolish and shameful.

Candice offered me a slight reassuring smile. “You won’t know unless you try.”

Leaning back in my chair, I stared through the window at the street, watching cars and people go by. Candice and Dakota finished their meals and chatted, but I wasn’t listening. My mind was focused on how to get Kyle to talk to me, and how I was going to get Deonna Purrazzo alone. She had some things to answer for.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sydney gets some news and tries to reach out to Kyle

Back in my hotel room, I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Part of me was relieved after the conversation I had with Dakota and Candice, and another part couldn’t believe it. It had felt so right, thinking Kyle was a love ‘em and leave ‘em type. It was finally a chink in his perfect armor, a flaw I had previously never seen. All along I never felt worthy of Kyle, his unwavering support and faith in me so foreign to anything I had ever experienced before.

And yet, Kyle had done nothing wrong, and true to form, I had managed to mess everything up anyway. It was almost laughable in a pathetic kind of way.

Beside me on the bed, my phone buzzed. Picking it up, I saw Pete’s name on the display. Sighing, I opened the text message.

**Pete: I forgot to tell you what my meeting was about**

It was bait for me to answer him, and in my current state, I couldn’t resist.

**Me: I’ll bite. What was it about?**

**Pete: Pete Dunne vs Kyle O’Reilly No Disqualification Match at the next Full Sail Taping**

I was stunned, my mouth dropping open as I read and reread his announcement

**Pete: Kyle will get the public arse whopping he deserves and you’ll have to sit in the back and watch**

Not bothering to reply, I sat up and locked my phone, placing it on the bed in front of me. Pete hadn’t forgotten the tussle they had during promo class and had been working behind the scenes to get his retribution. Pete had been embarrassed, and that was not something he could let slip by. At this point, I didn’t think it had anything to do with me anymore, other than the fact that I was a tool he could use to get back at Kyle.

With the realization of what this Wednesday would bring, I grew restless. I wanted to find Kyle. Deciding to try to text him, I picked my phone back up.

**Me: Are you free? Can we talk?**

There was an almost immediately reply.

**Kyle: Not ready yet**

With a sinking heart, I bit my lip and typed back.

**Me: I understand. I’d like to talk to you soon though. But I’d rather do it face to face**

**Kyle: That would be best, but not now**

Sighing, I racked my brain on how to word my next text.

**Me: I heard about your match at Full Sail this week**

This time, the reply took longer

**Kyle: Still talking to Pete, I see**

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath.

**Me: He texted me the information to rile me up and make me worry**

**Kyle: And are you worried?**

**Me: I’m riled up**

A lie. I was worried. Pete was not known for his soft punches in the ring. When he hit you, it was real. And while I had all the faith in the world in Kyle, knowing the animosity between the two men, I was anxious.

Kyle didn’t respond and I didn’t push it. Laying back down, my phone forgotten once again, I resumed staring at the ceiling. Emotionally I felt pretty numb, sights and sounds were dull. I was disappointed in myself, frustrated that I had allowed Deonna to gain even an inch into my mind. I resented her and her ability to twist situations to her benefit with zero repercussions. Why did I have to pay for my mistakes repeatedly while she got away scot free as she ruined people’s lives on a whim?

If there was one thing I wanted, almost more than reconciling with Kyle, it was to knock Deonna down a few pegs. I just wasn’t sure how to do that.

Yet.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan gives Sydney a dose of reality

The bright Florida sunshine on my skin felt wonderful, and behind my sunglasses I watched from my seat at the patio table as children ran excitedly through City Walk, their exasperated parents calling out to them. Even through the noise of the crowd I could hear the sounds of the band playing on the stage further down the path, out of sight, near the Hard Rock Café.

To my side, the metal chair scraped back on the pavers, Ethan sitting down beside me. His aviator shades reflected my image back to me, and out of habit I moved to the side so that I couldn’t see myself. We sat in silence for a few moments, just looking at each other. I had missed my best friend so much, and to have him nearby again seemed too good to be true.

As a tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek, Ethan cracked a small smile. “You look like shit, Syd.”

I gave a weak laugh, punching his thigh lightly. “You look as dumb as ever, E. Been chasing a lot of skirts across America?”

His smile grew into a grin. “Nah, I got a call from someone important so I hopped on a red eye flight back home.”

Me. I was that someone important. On Monday, while sitting in the airport bathroom waiting for the flight that would take me back home from Texas, I had called Ethan. My sobs echoed off the tile, the numbness I had felt for days evaporating once the pressure of the trip was lifted. I don’t even know what I said, but Ethan promised to rush home after Raw instead of taking his normal Tuesday morning flight. Sure, the difference was only a few hours, but it meant a lot to me anyway.

“I really messed things up, E,” I whispered, turning my head as I spoke. We were outside of a coffee shop, tucked away under an awning. Neither of us had ordered anything, so our hands were empty and that fact made me fidget.

Mimicking me, Ethan also began watching the crowd, not looking directly at me. “Have you talked to him?”

I shook my head. “Not about what happened. He said he wasn’t ready.”

Slouching a bit, Ethan slid into the Man Sit position, an arm on the table and his ankle resting on the opposite knee. I had a flashback of Kyle sitting with me so many months ago on the patio outside of the PC. Biting my lip, I dug my nails into my jeans.

He was quiet, and I was thankful. What else was there to say, really? It was up to me to fix the situation, but it just seemed hopeless. I had a good man and lost him. There was no going back from that.

Finally, Ethan spoke. “Syd, you are not a vindictive person. It’s not in your DNA. When something goes wrong, you always internalize it. So no matter how mad you are at Deonna, are you really going to be able to bring yourself to do anything about it?”

Muttering almost to myself, I responded, “I’m gonna punch her in the mouth.”

Ethan chuckled. “I might have to go to the tapings just to see that.”

“You know, E, It’s not even the fact that she caused issues with Kyle. Hell, I probably would have ended up doing that all by myself.” I snorted in derision. “What makes me so mad is she got into my head. I left myself so open, I was _looking_ for an excuse to bail, that as soon as she opened her mouth I was ready to believe her. Because it made sense. How can I blame Deonna for my own idiocy?”

Turning fully in his chair so that he almost leaned all the way across the table, Ethan stared at me. “Sydney, listen to me, and listen to me good. You have no idea how Kyle acts when he’s not around you, but let me tell you, he’s like a fucking glow stick when he talks about you. Hell, he doesn’t even have to say anything, and the whole locker room knows he’s thinking about you when he has that stupid grin on his face. It’s disgustingly cute how much he brags about you, what a good person you are, how you never stop fighting, that you are willing to help anyone who needs it. Your need to self destruct, to run away when things get good, that’s fear.”

My mouth dropped open. While Ethan was always honest with me, this felt a little more personal than normal.

He continued. “You are scared to get too close to people. Friends are a little easier, right? Because friends are fluid. They come and go. It’s natural. Family and significant others? That’s harder. And what happens when the happiness you get used to gets tossed in the air? You crumble, right? And whatever comes after that isn’t as good as the original. You worked so hard to get where you are, and at the first sign of trouble, you ran.”

_Are you sure you aren’t running?_

Kyle’s words from our fight in Texas echoed in my head. “Ethan…”

He gave me a short nod before leaning back into his chair. “I know, hearing it out loud sucks. I don’t enjoy having to say it, actually. But I want you to understand that Kyle is a great guy. If you are going to continue to have these kinds of issues, maybe you should just let him go.”

Gasping, it was my turn to whirl towards him. “Fuck you, Ethan Carter the Third! You know life doesn’t work that way! I can’t just shut my own insecurities off. It takes work! And to say I should just let Kyle go, the best person who has ever come into my life, is an asshole move on your part!”

Ethan only casually tossed me a smug look. “Then work on it and go get your boy back.”

“Ugh,” I fumed, kicking at the table. My best friend always knew how to frustrate me and make me think at the same time. “I hate you so goddamn much.”

“Love you too. Let’s get coffee and go to the gym.”


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation and answers...
> 
> ...and a very confusing Pete Dunne

The Full Sail crowd was on fire, and who could blame them? They had already been subjected to a women’s tag match with Candice and Dakota vs Vanessa Borne and Aliyah and then an intense battle between Keith Lee and Kassius Ohno. Now, they had the Undisputed Era and British Strong Style exchanging words in the ring, and it was getting tense.

The two teams had been intertwined for months in various matches. On the outside, it wasn’t personal, but only those who knew saw the animosity in the eyes of Pete Dunne and Kyle O’Reilly. I was backstage, glued to the monitor watching the chest bumping and posturing happening in the ring. A month’s worth of tapings would happen in one night, so while UE and BSS were setting up their feud, in reality, in only thirty minutes the actual match would start.

A No Disqualification Match.

My stomach clenched and I squeezed my hands together. Choreographed or not, Pete and Kyle were not going to be gentle with each other. Watching Pete on the screen, I could see his smug satisfaction as he stood stoic and allowed Kyle to vent in his face. It was different than Adam bragging to Trent Seven, or Bobby threatening Tyler Bate. There was a venomous quality to Kyle’s body posture, leaning over Pete, his finger in his face. And every time the corner of Pete’s mouth would twitch up another notch, Kyle got louder.

The match was going to be explosive.

My focus wholly on the monitor, I didn’t notice when someone joined me until they spoke.

“Just so you know, I asked Kyle to train me again and he said yes. Something about not having anything else to do…”

Before I could even register what I was doing, I whirled around, my fist clenched tightly, and slammed it into Deonna Purrazzo’s nose. Blood spurted, she gasped, and then fell to her knees on the floor. Her hands cradled her face, and she looked up at me in shock, tears falling from her eyes.

I was just as surprised as she was, but I didn’t let it show. Looking down at her, I narrowed my eyes. “That is for being a lying bitch. Do us all a favor and fuck off!

Stomping away from the crying woman on the ground, I quickly made my way down the hall, my heart pounding in my chest. Ethan had been right, I wasn’t a vindictive person, but _my god_ did that punch feel good. Even if there were repercussions down the line, I didn’t regret it. Deonna had stuck her nose in my life one too many times, and I wasn’t going to stand for it anymore.

I found myself in a short hallway that dead ended near an unused classroom. Leaning against the wall, I closed my eyes and slid down to the floor, my knees against my chest. A part of me did not want to watch Kyle and Pete in their match, but that was cowardly. Kyle would be fine and once he got backstage and cleaned up, we’d make up and both be happy again. That was my wish, to just be happy with him.

A slight throbbing in my hand had me opening my eyes. Blood spattered the skin and my knuckles were swollen. Smiling ruefully, I shrugged to myself and rested my arm on my knee. Deonna got what was coming for her, and I was extremely proud of myself.

God, if Ethan was with me he would have made some speech about how relationships were like injuries, you worked through them and were better on the other end. Or some nonsense like that. Even if the metaphor made sense, I wouldn’t have given him the satisfaction of knowing that.

And what did it say about me that I was hearing Ethan’s lectures in my head, even when he wasn’t present?

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I texted Ethan.

**Me: I know you are on a hot date right now instead of supporting your best friend, but I just punched D in the nose.**

Ethan’s response came back quick.

**Ethan: You said you were going to punch her in the mouth**

I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling.

**Me: She’s shorter than I remembered**

**Ethan: *laughing face emoji***

**Ethan: ice your hand you idiot**

**Me: I wanna watch it swell up for a while. Might need an x-ray**

**Ethan: All that training with Aleister and you still can’t throw a good punch??**

I didn’t answer, but the smile I had been holding back erupted across my face.

“What are you smiling at?”

Shrieking, I shot to my feet and found Pete at the end of the hall, leaning to one side, his arms crossed. He was wearing track pants and an NXTUK t-shirt, his long hair up in a bun on top of his head. Taking a moment, I appreciated how handsome he looked, and in the next breath, I realized how little it mattered to me. At one time, Pete’s piercing eyes could stop me in my tracks, but I felt very far removed from that person I used to be.

He was still waiting for my answer, so I lifted my phone in the air. “I was texting Ethan.”

“Hm,” he responded. “Looked like you were hiding.”

Shaking my head, I tucked my phone into my back pocket. “Just enjoying a quiet moment. Alone.”

“Are you going to watch the match?” he asked, still unmoving.

“Yes, of course.”

A small smirk formed at the corner of his mouth, making my teeth grit. “Syd, why torture yourself? You know what I’m going to do to him.”

Narrowing my eyes at him, I took a deep breath. He wasn’t being literal. I didn’t know what spots they had planned, or what the ending would be. But revenge burned cold in Pete’s gaze, and the video of that day in promo class seemed to play across the back of my retinas.

“Is there a reason you can’t let go, Pete?” I questioned him. “There is nothing between us, hasn’t been for a very long time.” I felt my shoulders go back and my back straighten, my quiet rage burning a hole in my stomach. “I’m happy. Kyle makes me happy. He cares about me and my well-being in a way you never did, never could.”

That seemed to unfreeze Pete, as my words caused him to drop his arms and push away from the wall, squaring up with me. We were now face to face with only a few feet in between, and I realized it had been months since we were in this position. Alone, with words needing to be said.

“Sydney we’ve been over this…”

I held my hand up. It was time he listened to me. “Yes, we have, and I wasn’t hearing you when you said you couldn’t give me what I wanted. I didn’t understand why you couldn’t love me. Hell, I couldn’t even love myself, and I suspect you can’t either. Two people as broken as we are don’t make a whole piece. Maybe you knew that, deep down. I clung to you Pete,” I continued, finally dropping my hand back down to my side. “I idolized the _idea_ of us, and that was unfair pressure to put on you. But how in the world could you not know how sick I was? Everyone else knew, had suspicions at least, but you seemed genuinely surprised. If you really cared about me, you would have seen what I was doing to myself. But you didn’t and you kept your distance, all the while leading me along because my dedication to you fed your ego. That’s not right.”

“Are you going to let me talk?” he growled at me.

I was on a roll, and hardly registered his thunderous expression. “But Kyle, he cares. He takes the time to listen to me and support me and talk to me.”

“And I’m guessing you talk a lot because you won’t shut up!” Pete tossed his hands in the air, causing my mouth to close in a snap. “Finally!” Exhaling hard, he took a step towards me. “I was going to say, that I’m happy that you are happy.”

“What?” I was so confused. “I thought you wanted to fight Kyle.”

“Oh I do. Just because I’m glad you are happy doesn’t mean I have to like the guy that makes you that way.”

I was stunned speechless. How could he swing from an egotistical jackass to a genuine human being.

“Look, Love, I’m not going to stand here and psychoanalyze our shitty relationship. It happened, and it wasn’t great. Could it have been? I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter.”

I don’t know what I expected from Pete, but it was obvious that whatever it was, wasn’t happening. There would be no epic shouting match between the two of us, no tears on my part, no silent treatments on his. We just….were. And whatever we were was good enough, because what we tried to force it to be had been doomed from the start.

Slowly gathering my wits about me, I shifted position, almost like resetting myself. “But, what about Deonna? All this drama started because of her.”

Pete shrugged, taking a step back towards the end of the hall, clearly set on leaving. “I think you’ve closed that door, Syd. I’d be surprised if she caused anymore issues.”

So he knew I’d hit her. Mentally I cursed that little impulsive gremlin inside of me. If Pete already knew, I was sure Coach Bloom had heard by now. Would this be the last straw? Violence against a co-worker outside of the ring was obviously forbidden.

I tilted my head back a little and put my hands on my hips. “Where does this leave us, Pete?”

Giving me a half shrug and the smirk that both charmed me and frustrated me, he just said, “We’ve said what needs to be said.” He reached the intersection in the hallway and stopped. “You don’t need me anymore, Syd.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving me standing by myself with an inner quietness I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Pete was right. I didn’t need him anymore. I was finally at a point where I could move on, as long as I allowed that for myself. I was my own worst enemy, and it was time for me to get out of my own way.

Through the building, I heard Pete’s music cue and the crowd go wild. Kyle’s match was starting! Darting out of the hallway, I bolted through the halls, skirting equipment boxes and dodging people as I hurried to the backstage monitor where I had been stationed before Deonna appeared.

Finding her gone, blood still on the floor, I halted and found that Pete was already in the ring, and Undisputed Era’s music blared from the screen, Kyle standing alone at the top of the ramp.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle and Sydney finally have that heart to heart talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Blood/Blood Kink?/Light Blood play

I couldn’t stop shaking.

Never in my life had I seen a match like the one I had just witnessed. Even by NXT standards, the standard bearer of amazing matches in WWE, the No Disqualification Match between Kyle and Pete had been hard hitting and exciting from the start. Typically, NXT saved the gimmick matches for PPVs, so the crowd was on fire seeing one in person at Full Sail.

Except I hadn’t been excited. I had been nauseous from bell to bell. Images of the match flashed through my mind as I roamed the hallway, trying to find Kyle.

_Pete standing on Kyle’s hands and pulling his body upwards, stretching his shoulder muscles._

_Kyle slamming a chair down onto Pete’s arm over and over._

_Pete kicking Kyle’s head into the steel steps repeatedly, cutting open Kyle’s forehead._

_The blood, dripping down Kyle’s face as he wrapped Pete up in the knee bar with Heel Hook, his face wrenched in agony as his shoulders no doubt screamed in pain._

_Pete setting up the table in the corner of the ring, propping Kyle on it and jumping off a ladder to leg drop Kyle through it, screaming, “Do you want everything I have now, Kyle?”_

Turning a corner, I found Adam, Roddy, and Bobby all huddled outside of the trainer’s room, speaking in low but urgent voices. Bobby saw me first and reached an arm out to welcome me into the fold. “He’s fine, Syd. Bloody and bruised, but he’s ok.”

I allowed him to wrap his arm around me and I sighed. “It was hard to watch.”

Roddy nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “He’s not happy he lost, but he’s fine. Promise, Syd.”

Rustling my hair, Adam gave me his signature cocky grin. “We’ll make sure he’s patched up in no time.”

“Um,” I mumbled. “Actually, I’d like to do that, if you guys don’t mind. There are some things we need to discuss.”

Bobby chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure you do. Fine, we’ll get out of your hair.”

“In that case,” Adam announced, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. “You’ll probably need this. Poor guy is super tense.” He opened his wallet and fished out a foil square, then offered it to me.

Automatically, I reached out and took it, then glared at him when I realized it was a condom. “Are you serious, Adam?”

Without another word, but with lots of sly grins, Undisputed Era walked away, leaving me alone outside of the trainer’s room. Taking a deep inhale, I put the condom in my back pocket and refused to let myself hesitate. Knocking, I only waited a moment for Kyle’s permission before walking in and closing the door behind me.

He was alone, sitting on the exam table, a previously white towel now covered in red pressed to his forehead. Kyle looked up at me in surprise, the hand holding the fabric dropped to his lap. Blood began dribbling out of the cut and he cursed, applying pressure once again. He was still only clad in his trucks and his boots, chest and legs bare. Bruises were already beginning to form on his ribs, and it hurt my heart to see his tattoo mottled with red splotches of skin.

“What are you doing in here, Syd?”

He sounded exhausted, and my heart broke. It didn’t escape my notice that he was only in this situation because of me and my past relationship with Pete, which only caused me more guilt.

“I wanted to check on you. That match had my stomach in my throat the whole time.”

The room was small, a locker room that had been transformed just by adding the exam table and a rolling trunk full of medical supplies. The bank of lockers themselves were only three across, and there was no bench, only a folding chair leaning against the wall out of the way.

Kyle shifted and the sound of crinkling paper filled my ears. “For a No Disqualification match, it was pretty tame, Syd. You know that. Besides, I’m fine. Doc is going to patch me up here in a few minutes.”

Returning my attention to him, I bit my lip, nodding, not bothering to disagree with him.

Kyle groaned, startling me. “Don’t do that, Sydney. Please don’t.”

Confused, I took a step away from the door, closer to him. “What did I do?”

“Don’t bite your lip, because then I’ll want to do that, and we aren’t at that point yet.” His eyes locked with mine, smoldering and intense.

I couldn’t help the gasp that came from my lungs. Immediately my body was on fire and I shifted from one foot to the other, trying to alleviate that pulsing that started in my core. After a deep breath, I asked him shyly, “What would it take to get us to that point?”

Slowly, Kyle removed the towel from his head, his whole body straightening as he watched me. “Why? You want something from me?”

Almost mesmerized, I watched as his unhealed cut slowly began to trickle blood down his forehead, then down his temple, to his jaw, and drop onto his chest. Remembering where I was, I took a moment, my brain short circuiting as each drop landed on his bare skin. From under hooded eyes, I locked gazes with Kyle. “First, I want to apologize for accusing you of being a man whore.”

He tried to hide it, but I saw that quick twitch of his upper lip as he quelled his smile. Taking that as a good sign, I took another step towards him, holding my hands behind my back in a demure gesture.

“Second,” I continued, “I want to apologize for allowing Deonna to come between us and for not trusting myself enough to trust you.”

Kyle gave a slight nod, and I got closer. “Anything else?” he asked, lifting the towel to wipe at the blood.

Biting my lip, I sidled right up next to him, my stomach pressed against his arm, and I laid my chin on his shoulder. Looking up at him from under my eyelashes, I gave him a slight smile. “I’m not sorry for punching that bitch in the face.”

Wordlessly, Kyle reached around my body and hauled me up against his side, his mouth coming down against mine aggressively. Just as quick, he picked his head up and glared at me. “I need more, Syd.”

My first instinct, with my befuddled mind, was to promise him anything, give him anything, as long as he never stopped kissing me. But once air returned to my lungs, I leaned my forehead against his shoulder and spoke the words I had been preparing for days.

“I have a lot of things to work on, Kyle. For me. And if I can do that, if I can work on me, I think we can work out too.” Lifting my head, I met his gaze. “I booked an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow. It’s a recurring appointment, weekly, and she’s available by phone if I have any emergencies.”

I took a deep breath, and forged on, encouraged by the softening in his eyes, even as the blood from his cut continued to drip.  

“I want to be a better person, Kyle. I want to do better at how I react to things, because alcohol and running away won’t keep you with me. And that’s what I want, I want you with me, because I want you to be proud of me.”

Kyle’s thumb was rubbing against the small of my back in a soothing gesture. I wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it. Our faces were close, his eyes imploring me for something I wasn’t sure what, but there was something inside of me I needed him to know.

“Kyle, I love you.” I heard his deep inhale, and before I could stop myself, I pressed my fingers softly against his mouth. “Don’t say anything yet.”

At his slight nod, I continued.

“I’m not sure you’ll ever understand what you’ve done for me these last few months. You’ve helped me grow into the person I want to be on a daily basis. And I know I still have work to do, but you inspired me to get help, to be a better person, to be worthy of love and affection. Kyle, if this fight between us has taught me anything, it’s that even through the hard times, I’ll come out the other side having learned something. I just hope that next time, God forbid there is a next time, you are standing next to me instead of me running back to you.” My eyes flicked down to where the blood was running down his chest, and I took my fingers from his mouth, placing my hand over his heart in the blood. “I don’t ever want to hurt you anymore.”

“Look at me Sydney.”

Kyle’s voice was low, deep, and I blushed as my core weeped for him. Looking up, I found his eyes had softened.

“I love you too.”

Simple. Plain. No frills. No long explanation. And yet my heart soared and my whole body felt alive with electricity. A huge smile spread across my face, and he leaned in to nuzzle his nose across my temple.

“I’m not afraid of my weaknesses when you are around,” I told him, feeling his warmth against my skin. I had missed being in his arms very much.

Kissing my hair, he leaned back to wipe at his forehead with the towel. “There is strength in weakness, Baby.”

My whole body, previously alive and warm with his love, now seemed to explode at the simple term of endearment. Biting my lip, I watched my fingers make swirl patterns on his skin. I couldn’t help the way my body seemed to rub against his side, enjoying being near him again.

“Sydney. What did I say about that lip?”

Kyle’s tone change, from soft and adoring to hard and firm, had me stilling in an instant and my eyes flicked up to meet his.

I watched his expression for a moment, trying to gauge what I should do next. Kyle seemed content to wait me out, to see what I would do. With his arm a steel band around my waist, I took the plunge. “Do something about it.”

He didn’t hesitate. “Lock the door. Now.”

It only took me three quick steps across the room before my hand was on the door handle and the lock turned to the side. Before I could turn around, Kyle was right behind me, pressing me against he wooden door, the heat of his body seeping through my V-necked t-shirt. He pressed his nose behind my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist, keeping me still.

“Baby, I haven’t been able to sleep in days. I miss having your beautiful body against me at night.”

Kyle’s hands began moving, one up to my left breast, and the other down, flicking the button of my jeans undone in a move so quick I briefly wondered where he learned it. But as soon as the thought entered my head, it flew right back out again as Kyle shoved his hand into my panties, finding evidence of how much I wanted him.

“Oh my god,” I moaned, pressing my hands flat against the door. Rolling my head back against his shoulder, I closed my eyes against the brightness of the fluorescents, feeling Kyle’s fingers find their place inside of me.

Curling his index and middle finger, he moved them at a brisk pace, rubbing my clit with every stroke, sending my body higher and higher.

“Your pretty pussy is so wet, Syd,” he whispered into my hair. His hand left my breast to dive under my shirt, tugging the cup of my bra down so that he could touch me skin to skin. “Do you want me? Tell me what you want, Baby.”

With one hand, I reached back to grip the back of his head, tugging him into a kiss. It was full of desperation and want, need and passion. Parting from his lips, I moaned into his mouth as he pinched my nipple. “Fuck me, Kyle. Please don’t make me wait. I need your big dick in me,” I whined.

Yanking his hands out of my clothes, Kyle whirled me around so that we were now face to face. He tugged my shirt over my head and as he threw it across the room, I looked up at him and gasped. His face was smeared with sweat and blood, covering most of his face.

Locking eyes with me, he asked, “Scared?”

I knew my eyes were wide, I could feel them, but I also felt my visceral reaction to how he looked deep in my bones. “No.” I didn’t say more than that, because I didn’t really understand how I felt. All I knew what that I wanted to kiss him until I lost my breath. But I wasn’t scared of the blood, and I wasn’t scared of how I felt seeing it.

I reached up with one hand to cover his wound with my palm, and then as he watched, brought it down to my chest, smearing his blood across the tops of my breasts.

Kyle’s expression looked like intense thunder, and before I could take my hand from my skin, he was swooping me up into his arms, his hands under my thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist. My arms encircled his neck and we met each other halfway, our lips meeting passionately. I could smell the coppery tang of the blood on our skin every time I inhaled.

Moaning against his mouth, I hardly felt the air move past me as he turned us around, setting me down on the exam room table. Paper crinkling underneath me was ignored in favor of hearing Kyle’s groans as he gripped my ass in his hands and squeezed.

“I love you,” I panted, just needing to say it out loud again.

Pulling back so he could look at me, Kyle dove his hands into my hair and tilted my head up, making sure I was looking at him. He seemed so primal. “Tell me that all the time, Sydney. All the time. Never, ever, think I don’t want to hear that, ok? Tell me a hundred times a day if you want to.”

My heart swelled in my chest. “I love you, Kyle. I love you.”

“I love you too, Syd. Fuck, so much!” He dove at me, our lips smashing together so hard my teeth hurt, but I clung to him, my nails digging into his back in a desperate attempt to pull him even closer to me. No matter how close we were, it would never be enough.

As we kissed, I felt his hardness through my jeans, and I shifted my hips just enough to lightly rub against him, drawing a long groan from Kyle.

Pressing his forehead to mine, he groaned. “Don’t tease me, Baby.”

Slyly, I grinned at him. “Who’s teasing?”

He nipped at my bottom lip. “You want me to fuck you here, Syd? We both know you aren’t very good at being quiet.”

I was getting impatient, so I reached between us to trail my hand down his sweaty and blood covered chest to his amazing abs, and then lower to his trunks. I didn’t even waste time groping him from the outside. I wanted the feel him in my hand, so I pulled his trunks down and wrapped my hand around his dick.

Licking my lips, I begged him with my eyes. “Make me scream, Kyle. Let the whole building hear me. I don’t give a fuck.”

More groans spilled from his beautiful lips as I began jacking him off, using his own blood and sweat. He tilted his head back, lost in the moment, and I watched, smug I was giving him pleasure.

“Syd,” he panted. “Remember when I told you I was weird?”

I grinned, twisting my wrist as I reached the head of his cock, wrenching a beautiful sound out of him. “I remember.”

“This is it. This is my weird fantasy. Bloody and broken after a match, fucking my girl as I drip sweat and blood all over her. Hearing her screams echo in the hallways, knowing everyone is listening to me pound into her. Not giving a single fuck, just needing to fill her up.”

My breath hitched in my chest and my nipples pebbled. “I don’t know about weird, but its definitely hot. And happening. It’s happening. Quit talking, Kyle, goddammit.”

He chuckled, looking down at me and taking a fistful of my hair in his hand. “You know I talk a lot, Baby.”

Pushing him back, I hopped down off the table, kissing his chest. “Too much.” Reaching into my back pocket I silently thanked Adam and his dirty mind, offering the foil packet he had given me to Kyle.

“Wow, were you so sure we’d make up?” he quipped, taking it from me and tearing it open with his teeth.

“Present from Adam,” I muttered, pushing my pants and underwear down to my thighs.

Rolling the condom down his length, Kyle shook his head. “He’s way too concerned with my sex life.”

I was done with talking. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him deeply. Kissing Kyle always felt like coming home, full of safety, mixed with excitement and thrill. My chest rubbed against his, my left breast still bare while my other was covered by lace, with Kyle’s sweat and blood. His cut had slowed to slow ooze, and I felt myself reach up to cover it with my hand again, dragging the liquid down to his cheek.

Our lips continued to dance as he lifted me back up to the exam table. With my jeans around my thighs, I couldn’t spread my legs, so Kyle gripped my ankles in one hand off to the side. Folded in half, with my boyfriend laying on top of me, I was breathless in the best possible way.

“Ready Baby?” he asked, licking and then nibbling my bottom lip.

Nodding quickly, I braced my hands on his shoulders. “Fill me up.”

Kyle lined himself up, the head of his cock rubbing against the wet core of my pussy. Forcing myself to relax, I felt him slowly push inside of me, stretching me out in only the way that he could. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I chanted, my hands sliding down to his wrists, gripping tight.

“I know it hurts, Baby, I’m sorry.” His expression looked tortured, if bliss could be considered that, even as he paused his movements.

Closing my eyes against the exquisite pain, I shook my head. “No! No, don’t stop!”

There was nothing like feeling Kyle fill me up, for us to be joined together, face to face. I had missed him, the mere presence in my life these last few days, and there was no force on Earth that was going to part us now.

A look of frustration crossed Kyle’s face and he let go of my ankles to tug my pants further down my legs. “These need to come off, Baby. I need to feel you wrapped around me.”

Those words spurred me to action, and I toed my shoes off, allowing him to pull my jeans from my legs, all without withdrawing from my core. Immediately, I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pulled me close as he picked me up, our lips locking together automatically.

Spinning us around, I heard more than felt the loud metallic slam of the locker against my back. All traces of strain were gone from Kyle’s face as he pounded up into me, blood now dried on his face and chest.

My arms locked around his neck, I squeaked with every push, my breath being knocked out of me as Kyle groaned my name.

“Syd, fuck,” he growled, and my pussy fluttered around his massive girth. Something about how Kyle had zero inhibitions always turned me on.

Even though I was secure in Kyle’s arms, I couldn’t help but claw at his wide shoulders in some sort of desperate attempt to hold on.

“Fuck yes, Baby, mark me.” Kyle’s groans had me throwing my head back, almost hitting it against the lockers, but Kyle tugged me towards him at the last moment, saving me from a concussion.

Sweat and blood covered the both of us, our breaths harsh between exertion and kisses. I couldn’t control the noises I was making, and I didn’t even try. With each thrust into me, Kyle and I were getting louder and louder. As our pleasure climbed, our words got dirtier and dirtier. Kyle was like a tornado, spinning us around the room from the exam table, to the lockers, to the door, to the folding chair, he seemed intent on finding the perfect position for us to explode together.

Somehow we ended up back at the exam table, me bent over it and Kyle fucking me from behind. My body felt as if I was being rammed by a Mack truck full of electricity, and my clit was throbbing harder than I could ever remember. Kyle’s hands dug hard into my hips, no doubt leaving bruises for me to admire later.

“Babe, please,” I begged. “Please!”

He grunted as he pounded into me. “What’s that, Baby? What do you need? Tell me.”

I could feel it, my orgasm, right on the brink, but I needed something extra to push me over the edge. I couldn’t tell if Kyle was feeling my tension, but I certainly felt his in the strain of his thighs as they slapped into mine.

“Come on, Syd. Tell me what you need!”

Near tears from the desperation of needing to cum, my voice broke as I tried to answer him. “I—FUCK! Please! I need—I need to—oh my god!—Kyle I need to cum!”

“Oh you’re close, Baby? Well why didn’t you just say so? You know I’ll give you whatever you need.”

Groaning in aggravation at Kyle’s ability to talk through anything, I pressed my forehead to the paper on the table, closing my eyes to try control my breath. I knew then that he was purposefully holding back, and if I would have been able to speak without crying from frustration, I would have probably cussed him out.

Suddenly, Kyle’s hand speared through my hair at the back of my neck and lifted me up off the table and back against his chest. His other hand gripped me under one of my legs, causing me to lift my knees up onto the table. The new position had him hitting my g-spot dead on, whereas before he had only been rubbing against it.

“KYLE!” I screamed, my hands reaching back to dig at his thighs.

“That’s it, let that pretty pussy cum!” His face was buried in my hair and his hot breath on my neck sent a violent chill down my spine and ended at my clit, triggering one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever experienced. Stars exploded behind my eyes and my mouth gaped open wide in a silent scream. My limbs started to shake uncontrollably and Kyle let go of my hair to wrap his arms around my torso, pining my arms to my side.

A strangled groan ripped from Kyle’s throat as he pumped up into me in short, strong thrusts, his whole body like a mountain behind me. “Fuck!” he shouted, cumming hard. His dick pulsed inside of me with each spurt, swelling even more than I realized was possible.

Gasping for air, my legs continuing to shake, I slumped forward as Kyle let me go, crouching on the table on all fours. The move forced Kyle to pull out of me, and I cried out, my pussy grasping at air, missing his length immediately.

Behind me, Kyle braced himself by his arms on either side of my hips, his head resting on the small of my back, breathing hard. “Christ Almighty,” he groaned.

Wetting my lips with my tongue, I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. “I don’t think I was loud enough. We may have to try again.”

Barking a surprised laugh, Kyle stood upright and turned me around, holding me close to his body. “Baby, I’m pretty sure the Full Sail audience heard you.”

I was very conscious that the two of us had blood stains on our skin, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about the clean up at that moment. Kissing his chest, I looked up at my boyfriend. “Wanna be my man whore?”

Grinning down at me, Kyle kissed my forehead. “You gonna tell me you love me again?”

I nodded. “Every day. All the time. You’ll hate it.”

“Not a chance in the world.”

A tentative knock sounded on the door followed my a very sheepish voice. “Uh, Kyle? Are you ready for me to stitch you up now?”

Laughing, I slid off the table and grabbed my clothes, quickly pulling them on as Kyle tried to wiped the blood off the many surfaces he had me pressed against. It was a futile effort and eventually he just gave up. As I tugged my shoes on, I saw him finally remove the condom and fix his trunks before calling out to the trainer that he could come in. My grin was plastered on my face as I slid past him, blowing a kiss to Kyle as I slipped out of the room.

And right into Coach Bloom.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the delay in posting. Work has been extremely consuming and exhausting, and I just didn't have any energy to put into writing.
> 
> But! I'm back now and it's time to wrap this sucker up! *slaps the roof of Weakness* we've put so much drama in this baby!

Coach’s office felt like the principal’s office in high school. Sitting silently as I waited for Coach Bloom to come in, my eyes roved the walls full of memorabilia from his wrestling days, and every other surface littered with papers. How he stayed organized, I’d never know.

Behind me, the door opened and closed so quickly, I didn’t even have a chance to turn to see who it was before Coach himself was rounding his desk, tossing a wet towel at me. It landed with a _plop_ in my lap, and I picked it up in an effort to keep my pants from getting too damp.

“Clean yourself up.” Bloom’s voice was gruff as he sat in his ancient rolling chair. The cushion was patched with duct tape and zip ties held the arms together.

Blushing, I ran the towel over my face, mildly surprised at the amount of Kyle’s blood that had gotten on me. Staying silent, I wiped my arms and my neck, keeping my eyes downcast.

“While I am _thrilled_ that you and Kyle worked your drama out,” something in his tone told me otherwise, “I am _not_ thrilled that Deonna Purrazzo is threatening to have you arrested for battery.”

My head snapped up and I met Coach’s eyes. “Really?”

He glared at me. “This isn’t something I would joke about.” Sighing, Bloom leaned back in his chair, causing it to let out an ungodly squeak. “Today might be your lucky day, Syd, so I want you to listen to me very carefully.”

Nodding, I clutched at the towel, my focus entirely on the man who held my career in his hands.

“Deonna has been a problem since she got here, let’s face facts. While you’ve had your issues with her and the men folk in your life, she’s been stirring the pot with management too, trying to use her boyfriend’s popularity as leverage to climb the ranks faster.”

I scrunched my eyebrows up in confusion. Why would Deonna think that Marty had any influence in WWE or NXT? He was an Indie wrestler, with more clout in ROH and NJPW. Looks like I was right all along, Deonna was delusional.

“Normally,” Coach continued, “We’d shut her down really fast and put her in her place, but then she started drama with you, and that brought you out of your Pete Dunne induced coma. It was more life I had seen out of you in a year, so we let it continue. And it worked. You found your drive and passion again. But, that brings us to today, when you punched her in the face, and,” he spread his hands, “to her threat of battery.”

My mind was spinning, but I could see his point of view, although it was mortifying. Coach apparently knew more about my love life and subsequent issues than I really cared for him to know. It amazed me how absolutely consumed I had been that I didn’t realize other people noticing what was going on in my life. Especially my bosses.

“There is only one way to deal with Deonna, and unfortunately for you and me, it means stoking her ego.”

I shook my head a little in denial. “If there is one thing I do not want to do, it’s that.”

Coach startled me with a chuckle. Pushing with one foot, he began to swivel in his chair, side to side, slowly, ignoring the cries of protest from the piece of furniture. “I’m sending her to NXTUK, permanently. The two of you need to be separated anyway, but I think if I dangle that carrot in her face she’ll forget about you and will focus on gloating about that. I’ve given Brookside a heads up that she’s trouble,” he mentioned the NXTUK head coach, “and he’ll keep an eye on her.”

I was silent for a moment, watching him sway back and forth, before I finally took a deep breath. “Coach, I really am sorry for all the trouble I’ve put you through this year.”

He came to a squeaky abrupt halt and leaned forward, clasping his hands on his desk. “Sydney, you are worth it. You are a bright young woman with a passion for this business. I knew you’d come out of it with some tough love and you did. Keep it up, whatever you are doing.”

What I was doing was finding out I was worth the work I was putting in. Trusting people, trusting myself. Standing up for what I believed in, and the people I loved.

Coach Bloom waved his hand, a sign I was free to go. Standing, the wet towel in my grip, I turned back to him when he called my name.

“Stop fucking in the trainer’s room. First, last, only warning. Do you understand?” His tone was tough, but his expression was exasperated.

Daring a grin, I nodded, opening the door to step out. “Got it, we’ll use the ring next time.”

“GET OUT!” He bellowed on a laugh. All things considered, meaning the drama in my life, that conversation went better than I had hoped for. I kept my job, got rid of Deonna, and Kyle and I were together again.

Things were looking up.


	49. Epilogue: Kyle's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read any of my other stories, you know I love switching up the POV for the last chapter. It adds a bit of freshness and gives me that final push to wrap everything up in a tidy bow.
> 
> So may I present: Bath time with Kyle O'Reilly

The sound of the water lapping against the sides of the tub soothed me, the heat relaxed my muscles, and the feel of Sydney’s back against my chest had my veins singing.

We were in my bathroom at my house, Sydney chattering about her meeting with Coach Bloom while I got stitched up after my match with Dunne. The lavender scented bubble bath that she insisted we use foamed around us, keeping her beautiful body from my view. But I knew it intrinsically. There was not an inch of her that I hadn’t memorized. Bobby teased me when I talked about how her mouth tasted, how when she kissed me, she always started soft, and then devoured me. As if she couldn’t breathe without me.

And really, I couldn’t breathe without her.

How it happened, I don’t really know. Her first day at the Performance Center was unremarkable, I had only noticed we had new recruits because finding an empty piece of gym equipment was impossible. But I saw her in the sea of people, gray PC shirt and baggy black basketball shorts dwarfing her body, as she did drills in the ring.

There was something about the way she moved. Rough, unrefined, that made me stop in my tracks. She had skill and training, but she remained authentically herself. Any Indie veteran worth their salt could watch a person in the ring and immediately know either who trained them or who inspired them. Not Sydney. She was her own person with her own style. A combination of technical ability mixed with Lucha and Canadian influences. And when I learned that Sami Zayn was the one that had discovered her in a bar, it all made sense to me.

Sydney raised her leg out of the water and laughed as the suds ran down her skin. She was now explaining what happened in Texas, and I was listening with only half an ear. The way the light hit the water on her body was extremely distracting, and I couldn’t stop my hands from wrapping around her torso and hauling her closer to me.

Texas was a nightmare for me. After promising her that I would never leave her, I had to take a step back and wait for her to come to me. There were just some things I couldn’t help her with. I could tell her she was beautiful, and smart, and deserving of good things, but unless she realized that on her own, I was only talking to myself. Pushing her away felt like I had torn my heart out of my own chest.

That day outside of the arena as I watched her scream at me, hurl accusations at me, and then crumble onto the ground was enough to send me on a tailspin. The only reason I stayed mentally sound was I knew I had to be strong for Sydney. If I broke down, she wouldn’t have a safe place to land. And I always wanted to be that for her.

“Are you even listening to me, Kyle?” Sydney chastised me.

Biting back my smile, I buried my face in her neck, peppering her with kisses. “Always, Baby.”

She huffed, but continued, telling me about the breakfast she’d had with Dakota and Candice where she’d discovered how wrong she’d been, that I wasn’t a man whore sleeping with new recruits and then ditching them when the next batch arrived. I remembered the night before vividly. She had no place else to go, so she’d come back to our room. Her eyes had been red rimmed and devastated, and it took every bit of willpower in my body not to scoop her up and make love to her all night long. Instead, I had turned my back on her, closing my eyes against her efforts to bridge the gap between us.

I was unsure if I’d ever be able to forgive myself.

Sydney talked with her hands, and they waved in the air, causing her body to move slightly in every direction. The delicious friction awoke my cock, and I knew she could feel it pressing against the small of her back, begging for attention. It was probably why she’d asked me if I was listening to her. As distracting as that feeling was, I was entranced by the sound of her voice, and I was willing to wait until she was done before making my move.

My hands weren’t idle. Even Sydney’s speech about her conversation with Dunne didn’t stop my hands from cupping her breasts and plucking at her nipples. I could hear it now, that small hitch in her breath that told me what I wanted to know. She wanted me. But still, I waited, asking her questions, prolonging it, because when Sydney was strung as tight as a bow, she begged in the most delicious of ways. And I wanted that. I wanted to know how much she needed me, although it would never measure up to how much I needed her.

Sydney always told me I saved her from herself, but she saved me too. Saved me from wandering aimlessly through life, from caring but not giving anything more of myself to others than I needed to. If there was one thing Syd inspired in me, it was to give all of myself to her. She took the plunge, so could I.

“Kyle,” she moaned right in the middle of her sentence. Her hips were moving up and down, although my hands hadn’t ventured there yet. Waves of water rolled through the tub, dangerously close to spilling onto the tile floor.

“You were saying?” I prompted her to continue whatever it was she was talking about. I didn’t even know, although I should have. I should have been a great boyfriend and stayed glued to every word she said, but all blood flow was currently lodged in my dick and my brain was no longer in the driver’s seat.

Syd’s breathing was shallow, her hands covering mine as I played with her hard nipples. Her head found its place against my chest. “Please.”

Still I waited, pressing tiny kisses into her hair and rubbing my hands over her skin. But my girl was having none of that. Suddenly she sat up, her head turning to glare at me over her shoulder.

“I know what you are doing. It’s not going to work.”

I smirked at her, because stalling actually _had_ worked. She was flushed, not just from the heat of the water, but from the constant teasing of my hands. “Are you sure?”

She let out an unladylike grunt, turning around so that she was straddling my lap. Her bare pussy pinned my cock against my stomach and I groaned. It was Sydney’s turn to smirk. “I’m very sure. If you want to play games, we can.”

Her mouth found my collarbone and she sucked hard and then nibbled at the skin. My dick twitched at the feeling. There was something so incredibly hot about Sydney’s marks on my body. I craved them, yearned for the proof of her passion.

I wrapped my arms around her and pressed our bodies together, and then shifted my hips, rubbing against her pussy. God, I wanted to be inside of her all the time. There was nothing like it in the world.

“Are you ready for me, Baby? You don’t want to wait, right? I can take you right here.” I captured her lips with mine and drove us both breathless before I let her answer.

Dazed, her eyes closed as she lifted herself up to line me up with her core, she bit her lip. “No waiting. Don’t make me wait, Kyle. Please.”

I watched as she reached down to grip me firmly, and I grit my teeth. I was on edge, wanting her with a pain that bordered on agony. Sydney opened her eyes and I felt my heart stop as she slowly sank down over my girth. She never wavered. I was not a small man, and I knew there were times when I hurt her, but right now, she kept her gaze locked on mine and sank all the way down.

I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my throat. “Good girl. You took me like a champ. I love filling you up, Baby. You feel so good.”

The sound that came from her mouth was a cross between and sigh and a moan. Staying where I was, leaned against the side of the tub, I watched as began grinding on my dick instead of pumping up and down. I echoed her sound, the friction of her movements being one of my favorite positions. I loved watching her drag her clit over my length, letting her control the pace. She was in control of our passion, and she excelled in the ability.

“Kyle,” she whispered over the sloshing of the water. I didn’t even care about the mess we were making. Syd’s hair was piled high on her head, strands falling to encircle her face and tucked behind her ears. She looked radiant, and my dick pulsed inside of her. “Oh God, Kyle!”

“Feel good, Syd? Tell me, Baby, I want to hear you.” My hands gripped her hips, my fingers digging into her ass, causing her to grind against me harder. Her pussy was so wet, so warm, I almost felt like I could black out from pleasure.

“Yes, yes, oh my god, Kyle. You fuck me so good.” Her head tilted back, and I knew she was close to cumming. But I had one more trick up my sleeve.

Reaching between us to strum my thumb against her clit, I struck. “Move in with me, Sydney.”

Her head snapped up and she locked eyes with me. Her expression was a mix between confusion and bliss, and her hips faltered for just a beat or two before she found her rhythm again.

“Kyle, I-,” she began, but I shushed her.

Keeping her moving with one hand, and stroking her with the other, I made my case. “I love you, Sydney. I want to be with you all the time. I want to wake up with you, go shopping with you, curl up on the couch with you. I want to fight over bathroom counter space, and closet space. I want to wake up in the middle of the night freezing my balls off because you stole the blankets. I want to hold you when you are having a bad day, I want you to hold me when I have a bad day. I want it all. With you.”

Sydney’s beautiful eyes began to tear up and she reached down to place one hand on my chest and wrap her other hand around my wrist of  the hand that was playing with her clit. “You are a real asshole, O’Reilly, to pull that shit right at this moment.”

I grinned up at her, unrepentant. My whole body was strung tight, waiting for her answer, trying to hold back the urge to cum before she finished. “Leverage, Baby.”

With a sudden jerk of her hips, she squealed, her pussy clamping my dick hard, fluttering around it as she came violently. Gritting my teeth, I held off my own orgasm, my thumb never stopping its movement against her clit as I sat up and held her against my body.

Sydney’s legs shook and her forehead dipped down against my shoulder, but still I didn’t relent. “Give me an answer, Syd. Come on, Baby. Say something.”

Lifting her head, her eyes glassed over, she reached up and held my face in her hands. “Cum in me, Kyle, and then take me to our bed.”

_Our bed._ My world spun. _Our bed._ “Fuck!” I grunted as I felt my balls draw up as I exploded inside of the love of my life. “I love you.”

Humming softly, her hands running all over my back and arms, Sydney curled against my chest with her face buried in my neck. “I love you, too, Kyle.”

Panting, I closed my eyes against the sensation of her after shocks still clutching at my dick. In my arms, I held everything that mattered to me. And I’d be damned if I ever let her go.

I’ll never understand how Sydney could give me so much strength, and still be my greatest weakness. But I intended to spend a lifetime figuring it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End


End file.
